Older Women Are Sharing The Important Traits They Look For In A Partner That Younger Folks Might Overlook
Recently, Redditor u/Nugetfilled asked the older women of the Reddit Community to share the traits in a romantic partner that they didn't think were as important until they got older, and I'm taking some serious notes. Here are the characteristics older women are urging younger folks to take into consideration:
1."Financial literacy. I dated a few not-so-thrifty guys in my younger years and thought it was cool since I also had good money. Like, yes, you can spoil me, but I don't need that. I really like a man who has financial goals and doesn't live paycheck-to-paycheck to try and appear better off when that's not the case."
2."I used to value words because they wooed me. Now, it's all about action. A man could write me 30 lines of the sweetest poetry, but I'm not giving him crap until he shows his love through his actions."
3."Cleanliness."
4."You have to take into consideration genes. My husband comes from a long line of diabetics and heart problems. He was living a good lifestyle and was managing his diabetes — until he got older, and it all hit him at once. Now, he is dealing with his heart, eyes, kidneys, and skin. I truly don't mind taking care of him, but at the young age of 61, I have become a full-time caregiver. Traveling, camping, and all those other activities have stopped."
5."The ability to amuse themselves and have hobbies and interests outside of the relationship."
6."Having death plans. No one thinks they're going to die at 23, 24, or 25, but some of us do. Pets, savings, organ donation? It's worth having a plan."
7."Friendship. I've dated too many dudes who I would never, ever want to be friends with outside of a relationship."
8."When they're debt-free."
9."The ability to do household chores, especially 'women's work' like cooking and cleaning. I know SO MANY women who work full time and still do 90% of the housework and childcare because their husbands are like children themselves. They can fix the car and mow the lawn but are unable or unwilling to do anything else. My husband cooks and does the dishes EVERY NIGHT, does half of the childcare, and takes over everything in the house if I'm sick. I have two chronic illnesses that weren't found until after I married, and without him, we could not have even dreamed of having kids. It would have been too difficult for me to manage without him."
10."Consideration. In my teens and 20s, I didn't even know what that looked like. Being considered by your partner when they make decisions is so important."
11."You have to see how they process drama, trauma, and baggage. Healing is so damn important, and more people need to do that instead of spreading their misery and past issues to others. I appreciate the work it takes someone to do and go through. I admire it, and honestly, I find it hot as hell."
12."Emotional intelligence and self-awareness. The ability to process emotions and speak clearly about themselves so they don't rely on me to do all the emotional labor."
13."The ability to have fun! Life sucks sometimes, and in the worst of times, you want someone who you can just hang out and have a laugh with."
14."Being able to follow through and having self-discipline and consistency. Turns out, I hate a lazy, sloppy, self-indulgent man. And, unfortunately, there are so many. Having honor is so sexy."
15."You have to ask things like: Does he read? Is he open to therapy? Does he have good role models of healthy masculinity, relationships, and fatherhood?"
16."Day-to-day compatability. For example, my husband and I are very independent and need a lot of space on our own. If either one of us were the opposite, it wouldn't work."
17."Someone who understands the importance of the 'little things.' Big gestures of romance are sweet, but the value of remembering the little things means so much more."
18."The ability to own up to mistakes, take accountability, and genuinely apologize. We all mess up from time to time; it's how we handle it that shows maturity."
19.Lastly: "You have to gauge how kind they are to other people. How kind is he to his mother, a server, or a stranger on the street? That's his true self. A man will be kind to you if he wants you to like him. How kind he is to others says more about who he is as a person."
Peeta Mellark is all of these things. Just saying. If you're an older woman, what traits do you value in a partner now that you didn't think was as important to consider when you were younger? Let me know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your thoughts using this form!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
