Husband Didn't Invite His Wife to One-on-One Trip with Female Friend, Doesn't Get Why Wife Is Upset

A married man planned a one-on-one trip with a female friend — and was surprised when his wife took issue with it.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A------?” forum, the 30-year-old man explained that he and his female friend, 29, have been platonic pals since they were teens. He also shared that he and the friend — whom he referred to as “A” — have always had a sibling-like dynamic and that A even helped set him up with his now-wife nine years ago. He noted that while his wife and A “aren’t best friends or anything,” they “get along quite well.”

The man then shared that when he was 16, he promised A — who he says shares a love of cars and motorsports with him — that he would pay for them to go to a Formula 1 race if she quit smoking “once we were older and not broke teenagers.”

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He said that while A quit smoking some time ago, he was finally in a financial position to hold up his end of the bargain this year. He shared that after going over the expenses and details with his wife, he booked a trip for himself and A for the following year.

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However, it seems there was a crucial misunderstanding between the man and his wife.

“A couple days ago, my wife mentions how she's so excited for the trip,” he wrote. “I gently let her know that I have only booked two tickets for the race and flights. She was upset about this, and I was really confused because I thought I had made it clear that this trip was for A and it would just be us two.”

He wrote that his wife asked if he could add another ticket to the race, but he claimed by that point the event was sold out. He said she then asked if he could at least join them for the rest of the trip, but he was “not inclined to do that."

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“I know this sounds childish, but this was a me and A thing since we made the deal,” the man explained.

“My wife has seemed really upset about this and is barely talking to me and the one time we have seen A since then she was very cold towards her,” he continued, adding, “I don’t know if she doesn’t trust me or if it’s because of some insecurity."

He then asked his fellow Reddit users if he would be an “a------” for not including his wife.

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Commenters were in seemingly unanimous agreement that the man had committed a major relationship faux pax. Most people noted that they could definitely see how the man's wife would be hurt — especially if this is potentially the first nice trip he has ever splurged on.

“Have you ever taken your wife on an expensive trip like this before (not including your honeymoon if you even did a trip for it)?” one person wrote. “I'm asking because the way the post sounds, it seems that this is the first time you've had enough money to go on a vacation and you used it to fund a trip with a friend that doesn't even include your wife.”

Another Reddit user took a firmer stance, writing, “You are both an a------ and an idiot. Please pull your head out of your a-- and stop trying to justify this. It is completely hurtful and inappropriate to prioritize someone else … to this degree over your chosen life partner.”

In a later edit to his post, the man revealed that he had changed his plans and added his wife to the itinerary after reading responses from other Redditors — though he still maintained that he had communicated everything clearly to his wife beforehand and that “she was fine with it all until she wasn’t.”

This, however, also didn’t sit well with commenters.

"You don’t even sound remorseful in your EDITs to be honest," one person wrote. "You sound like you’ve been guilted and peer pressured by strangers on Reddit to invite your wife and still don’t even understand what’s wrong with what you did, which makes this worse."

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