Doctors Are Sharing The "I Can't Believe I Need To Explain This To You" Convos They've Had With Adults, And I Can't Believe These Are Actually Real
When it comes to medicine, doctors are pretty aware that we might not know as much as they do.
However, there are moments when they have to explain "common sense" to some patients.
In one Reddit thread, medical professionals shared their most surprising "I can't believe I have to explain this" stories, and you'll be shocked to say the least:
1."My sister is a doctor and 25 years ago when she had her very very first patient out of residency and this patient refused to allow her to see her breasts (which were sore and needed a mammogram to check out a lump)."
"So sister asks why and this girl who is about 30 and single said matter of factly 'oh. That's lesbian. We can't do that. It's against the lord's wishes.' She loves telling this story at the dinner table on family gatherings. Especially to our religious side."
2."Paramedic here. Was driving with my partner and patient in the back. The patient was fine. The patient's skeezy boyfriend was riding in the front with me and apparently saw a golden opportunity to ask a question that had obviously been on his mind for some time."
"Him: So when cats and dogs eat grass, that means they have cancer, right?
Me: Ummm. No. No it does not.
Made for an awkwardly silent ride the rest of the way."
3."That the 30+ cups of coffee he was drinking every day could possibly be the cause of his chief complaints of anxiety and insomnia. He said he was not willing to give this up or try decaf."
4."Not a doctor (yet) but an ER tech for ~2 years. Mom comes in with her baby, plus two more older kids. Complaints that the baby hasn't pooped in a while and won't stop crying."
"As I'm settling them in with one of the nurses, the baby is bawling, like opera singer lungs bawling. Suddenly, mom whips out a white plastic shopping bag and sticks an end in the kid's mouth, saying 'this is the only way she stops crying.' The nurse and I took a look and immediately ordered an emergency X-ray of the kid's stomach. Turns out she had ingested a good amount of these bags and it was blocking up in her stomach. It is a big deal, potentially life-threatening. When we confronted the mom about her baby's feeding habits, her only words of defense were, 'Well, I checked all over the bag, and I couldn't find anything that said 'nonedible.'
TLDR: Mom had been letting her baby teeth on plastic bags because she didn't know they weren't edible."
5."As a veterinarian, I had a 10-minute conversation with an owner explaining which side was the dog's left side."
6."While in dental school, my friend pulled out several bombed-out (technical term) teeth on an adult male. After the procedure and post-op instructions were given, the man asked, 'So when should I expect my new teeth to grow in?' He was serious."
7."Medical Assistant to a cataract surgeon here. If you fucking sleep in your contact lenses long enough, they will fuse to your eyes, and you will need surgery to have them removed. Yes, you can go blind from this. For the love of God, don't sleep in your contact lenses."
8."Obligatory not me but my wife. She's a nurse practitioner and had to explain to a 40-year-old man that brown sugar did, in fact, contain sugar, and that is most likely the reason why he now has diabetes. The same man also adamantly insisted his wine consumption was not an issue because he 'only drank the dry stuff like chianti so it doesn't have any sugar.'"
9."Dentist here. Things I've had to explain to parents:"
"1) Breast milk CAN cause cavities
2) Don't put your kids to bed with a bottle with Coke in it. (They then switched to Diet Coke)... facepalm
3) Don't wiggle out your permanent teeth just because the tooth fairy will give you money.
4) You can't brush cavities away with toothpaste or any of these new Internet fads (oil pulling, honey, chocolate). Once your cavity is deep enough, it needs to be fixed by a dentist.
5) Fluoride isn't poison any more than table salt is poison. Small quantities are good for you. Anyone who tells you otherwise has been lied to and believed it."
10."Not a doctor, but my human sexuality professor in grad school had some interesting stories. He worked a lot in very conservative Christian communities, and so a lot of times people got married with no sex education."
"He had one couple who couldn't get pregnant. Turns out they thought sleeping together literally meant sleeping in the same bed. Another couple was in therapy because neither one of them enjoyed sex or ever had an orgasm. After having them talk through step by step what they did in bed, he learned the guy was just sticking it in and nothing else. He told the guy to move back and forth next time and see what happened. The couple came back one more time to say 'THANK YOU!!!!!' and didn't need any more sessions."
11."So, not a doctor, but I work at a hospital. We had someone come into A&E because they needed their nails redone... They genuinely thought it was a good idea to go to accident and emergency to have their fake nails taken off and redone because they had gotten too long and become uncomfortable."
12."Lady had a broken jaw. She comes in after 2 weeks with an open mandible fracture. Referred her to the hospital for immediate surgery. She never went bc it 'doesn't bother her, and she'll see if it gets better.'"
13."I saw a patient for a follow-up after three ER visits in as many days for asthma. He was from another country, so this was my first time meeting him."
"His lungs sound absolutely terrible, but he swears he is taking the inhaler every 2-4 hours with no relief. This raises suspicion to me, as the same meds are working in the ER. I asked him to show me how he was using it. He holds it about a foot away from his mouth and does two puffs like Binaca and swallows. I felt really bad; he had never received any education about his illness or medications."
14."My Dad's answer (I am not a doctor): My dad had to tell a patient that they were not pregnant. The patient was male."
15."Had to explain to an adult you have to brush all the sides of a teeth. Like... no, just the side that shows when you smile is not enough. And yes, flossing is not just a thing for rich people."
16."Had to explain that brushing your teeth with Comet (the cleaner) was not a good way to clean your teeth to a 40-year-old woman."
17."A 32-year-old grown man asked me if the hot spells he was experiencing at night meant he was going through menopause."
18."That coming to the ER for a pregnancy test is a very, very expensive way to do it. Apparently, she didn't know you could buy one at the Rite-Aid down the block. Seriously, don't come to the ER for a pregnancy test, cause the test results won't be the only surprise you'll be getting."
19."Not a doctor, but I regularly have people come in for eye examinations because 'when I take my glasses off things are blurry.' Often, these aren't passing comments during the exam, but the main reason for their visit to the clinic."
20."A mother came in with her son to discuss treating his acne. Son was about 15 years old and didn't really care about the acne, but mom did. After going over treatment options she asked if he just needed to 'do it' to get rid of the acne. A grown woman with a child thought that by him having sex, his acne would magically go away...smh"
"It seems that many people think that being a teenager = acne; thus, having sex makes you a man, and you would no longer have acne. It's an odd thought process, IMO. Also, WTF is up with the whole broken arms thing?"
21."So I'm only an EMT, but I want to weigh in here to this conversation. I had to tell a patient with severe pneumonia (and the patient's family) that you don't get sick (i.e. catch a cold) by leaving your skin exposed. The family was vehemently debating me on the fact claiming that I had no idea what I was talking about because I'm not a doctor."
"Attempting to explain to them the necessity for a foreign body to enter your system was the most preposterous thing to them."
Do you work in the medical field? Let us know your wildest stories!
Note: Some responses may have been edited for length/clarity.
