NewsRefinery 29 UKWhere Do I Fit In As A Black British Muslim Woman?
“You’re a dirty Afghan,” the white boy in my class spat at me. I was only 13 years old when I heard these words. At the time I was at an inner-city comprehensive in north London and wearing a hijab. It had been a standard-issue teenage altercation with a classmate over what I felt had been a misuse of my scented glitter gel pens. Why was my race suddenly being attacked?I am Black, British and I am a Muslim. Throughout my entire life, I have experienced a double helping of racism: both Islamophobia and anti-Blackness.When the gel pen incident occurred I had been living in the UK for just three years. Before that my parents and I had lived in the Netherlands and, before that, they had fled the civil war in Somalia before I was born.Now you know that I am not from Afghanistan. But because of my hijab the young boy saw me only as Muslim. He did not make the connection that I was, or could be, from Africa. I’ve lived with this my whole life: being misplaced, pigeonholed and forced to confront belonging – or rather a lack of it – almost daily. As a 26-year-old Black British Muslim woman I now see that we are hugely underrepresented in mainstream media and culture. I still don’t feel accepted by many parts of British society. > This was a standard-issue teenage altercation with a classmate over scented glitter gel pens. Why was my race suddenly being attacked?Growing up, I would hear that I’m not really Black because I’m Muslim and also that I’m not really Muslim because I’m Black. It was, frankly, exhausting.I didn’t know it but that day, at 13 years old, wouldn’t be the last time I wondered where I would be able to carve out space to exist safely and peacefully.Black British Muslims have been part of the fabric of British society for centuries. Shakespeare’s Othello, for instance, is thought to be a comment on relationships with Black Muslims who arrived from north Africa to live in Elizabethan England. Today, Britain’s Black Muslims comprise 10.1% of the country’s total Muslim population.Yet when people think of Black Muslims they often think only of the prominent American activists like Malcolm X. But what about me? Or Muhammed from Slough? My community needs more attention because the experience of being ostracised so often from all sides can have a really negative effect on your sense of belonging. Like most Muslim children growing up in the UK, I would attend faith lessons after school. We would pass the time by learning passages from the Quran and pontificating on their meaning. Many of these faith schools are run by members of the south Asian community, which makes sense proportionally, given that they make up a larger number of Muslims in the UK. But behind closed doors, casual racism was common.> As conversations about race unfurl at lightning speed, I keep coming back to the complex web of prejudices that Black British Muslim women like me face. Where do we fit in? How do we find our place in Britain, a space where our faith can intersect with our Blackness? “Shouldn’t Somalia be next to Pakistan? You guys don’t look like Africans,” said one girl to me.Another boy proudly told us all how his grandfather kept darker skinned people as slaves: “That is the way Allah meant it.” Even in my own Somali community there is toxic colourism, whereby family members with fairer skin are valued more highly than those whose skin is darker. Somehow this only really relates to women. Light skin privilege and its pernicious impact is something I have frequently been forced to confront even at the dinner table in my own family home. There is an unspoken hierarchy within the Muslim community, with fairer skinned Muslims from the Middle East at the top and Black Muslims ranking somewhere towards the bottom. This hierarchy is almost certainly lost on most white people. When I was 19 and somewhat more naive, I was dating a French man. In my late teens I guess I was, at best, more impressionable and, at worst, easily amused. He sang? Wow. He had a postgraduate degree? Yep. A full-on intellectual.He wore secondhand clothes because he didn’t believe in the fashion industry? Be still my beating heart!Alas, it was too good to be true. One evening when we were strolling along the South Bank in London, he told me so innocently that he and his friends had always wanted to sleep with east African Muslim women because there’s just “something about them”. I am able to joke about this but the reality is perturbing. How can you fetishise and categorise an entire group of women and reduce them to a purely sexual function? Did he once think about how that might make me feel? There has been countless academic work conducted and think pieces written about how the fetishisation of Black women’s bodies has historically been a way of undermining us and refusing to allow us to exist on our own terms. Despite my experiences, racial equality is actually central to Islam. In his last known public sermon, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated: “There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, and no superiority of a white person over a Black person or of a Black person over a white person, except on the basis of personal piety and righteousness.”As conversations about race unfurl at lightning speed in Britain, I keep coming back to the complex web of prejudices that Black British Muslim women like me face. Where do we fit in? How do we find our place in Britain, a space where our faith can intersect with our Blackness? How do we open up dialogues about the prejudices we face? I don’t have the answers yet but recognising the need to ask these questions feels like a very good place to start. Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?Sustainable Fashion Has Failed The Black CommunityOn Trying To Assimilate As A Young Black WomanWe Need To Talk About Black Joy On Social Media
StyleRefinery 29 UKI Had My First Post-Lockdown Facial & A Lot Has Changed
From hairdressers to nail bars, many beauty businesses have slowly opened their doors following closures as a result of coronavirus. Frustratingly, many close contact facial treatments such as facials, brow waxing and lash lifts are off the menu until mid August thanks to a government U-turn. But there are special cases, specifically when it comes to medical aesthetics clinics. According to current government guidelines, medical settings are an exception.The top beauty question on Google is currently: when will beauty salons reopen fully? While I don’t have a definitive answer, as someone with persistent acne (thanks to polycystic ovary syndrome or PCOS) I visited Waterhouse Young Clinic to get some idea of what close contact facial treatments will look like in a post-lockdown world. Of course, not everyone may be comfortable with venturing to skin appointments just yet and that is understandable. I discovered that there are lots of new rules and regulations in place to keep people safe, and unsurprisingly, lots has changed.Facials for certain skin conditions are permittedGuidelines allow for medical practices to reopen to treat patients who need it, but there is a fine line between ‘essential’ and ‘non-essential’ treatments. If you have a skin condition, a handful of facial treatments are permitted. At Waterhouse Young and many other clinics, therapists can currently treat skin conditions ranging from acne and rosacea to melasma, eczema, irritated skin, hyperpigmentation, dermatitis and hyperhidrosis, to name a few. I booked in for a PCA Peel, which enlists 6% retinol to reduce hyperpigmentation, persistent breakouts and scarring. From eczema to spots, lockdown stress has exacerbated skin issues for lots of us, so this may come as a welcome relief. But it does mean that other facial treatments are off the menu…Some facials and treatments are not allowed at all just yetBeauty therapists and clinicians cannot perform anything that is completely cosmetic just yet, for example cosmetic acupuncture and Botox or dermal fillers. All beauty salons and clinics must await an announcement from the government before all facial treatments can resume. That said, aesthetic doctor Parisha Acharya suggested that any other facial treatments would be very similar to this one in terms of social distancing rules and required PPE when salons and clinics open up the rest of their menu.You’ll need to attend a virtual consultation firstMedical-led skin clinics like Waterhouse Young require patients to undergo an extensive consultation process. “Since COVID-19 we have brought in additional measures to maintain patient safety,” says Dr Acharya. “We now carry out all our initial consultations virtually. This allows us to reduce face-to-face contact time in clinic, while still being able to gain a thorough history of our patient’s concerns, as well as the all-important medical history.” During the consultation, which can take place via FaceTime, WhatsApp or Zoom, the skin expert on the line will gauge an idea of what treatments may be suitable for you. You’ll need to sign a new formAs with most facial treatments, especially ones where skin specialists enlist high-strength acids or hi-tech tools, reading through a contract is necessary before entering the treatment room. But at Waterhouse Young (and likely many other clinics and beauty salons) there is an additional form tailored specifically to COVID-19, which asks questions about your exposure to the virus in recent weeks. It’s important to arrive bang on time so that you can fill out the form without having to eat into your appointment. Just like hair salons, arriving too early could cause congestion in the waiting area, so it pays to time things well. Therapists will be dressed in full PPE but you are not required to wear a mask or visorAt Waterhouse Young, Dr Acharya was dressed in full scrubs, including a surgical gown, apron, gloves, face mask and visor safety glasses. While it does feel a lot more clinical than before, it is reassuring, as unlike my recent visits to hair and nail salons, it’s pretty impossible for clients to wear a face mask or a visor during a facial treatment. Talking during treatments is permitted but if you feel more comfortable not doing so, that’s totally okay. There is still a waiting area, but there is now space for just two people maximum and masks must be worn at all times if there is another person in the room with you. Rooms and equipment will be sanitised fully after useBeds are changed and wiped down after use, single-use equipment and miniature skincare products used during treatments are either given to clients to take home or disposed of, and rooms including workstations, door handles and tools are sanitised after every client. As anyone knows, beauty salons and clinics are held to high hygiene standards anyway, so this doesn’t feel much different from before. The way you shop for skincare has changedWe all enjoy poring over the shelves of shiny new skincare products on display in clinic but it’s likely you’ll have to notify your clinician if you want to buy something (via cashless payment, of course), to minimise contact and prevent the spread of the virus. If you don’t know where to start, dermatologists and therapists almost always recommend SkinCeuticals, especially their CE Ferulic for protecting against pollution and other environmental aggressors, Heliocare Gel Oil-Free SPF50 sunscreen for everyday use, and PCA Skin Blemish Control Bar for preventing breakouts.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?Skin Experts Share Their At-Home FacialsI Got A “Glass Skin” Facial In South KoreaThis Is Why You Always Get Spots After A Facial
- LifestyleRefinery 29 UK
Everything You Need To Know If You’ve Lost Your Job
Global pandemic notwithstanding, when it comes to tough mornings, there are few things quite as bracing as opening your laptop on the first day of unemployment to see nothing but a solitary email from Groupon and a request from your mum to feed her cat. I know this because I have been in exactly this position. In fact, I’ve been made redundant not once but twice in my life — most recently off the back of said pandemic. I could share with you the many deeply unhinged ways in which I behaved in the aftermath of these seismic events but instead, in the interest of being helpful, I am going to use this piece to pass on some wisdom I have learned along the way. Here’s how to organise yourself when your job is no longer. I’ve just been made redundant, what do I do first?As the date of your redundancy approaches it’s very important to get your ducks in a row as much as you can. First things first, you need to make sure you are educated on what you are entitled to and that you haven’t been completely messed around by your employer. I was genuinely surprised to learn how many rights employees have. So many workers are on fudged rolling contracts or haven’t been treated properly so it’s good to check that your redundancy is definitely fair and lawful, especially if you haven’t actually left the building yet. Whatever it is that’s worrying you the most about the future – landlords, tax self-employment loopholes, your payout – Citizens Advice is truly the best when it comes to helping you feel your way through the initial admin. You can get in touch with your local bureau here. Understandably their helpline has been pretty busy recently so make sure you set aside a full day (if not more) for this tedious task. Put them on speaker and find something you can do while you’re on hold to avoid going completely insane. Squats, descaling the kettle, some colouring – whatever makes you feel less sad. Remember that the whole thing is a bit of a car crash so patience is what you will be needing. I found this page on preparing for redundancy genuinely useful as it tells you how to access tons of free services like career and financial advice but also about the nuts and bolts of the redundancy stuff that may have been poorly communicated to you by your awkward boss over Zoom.Also, please, if you are over 18 and have less than £16k in savings, apply for universal credit right now. This brings together help with rent and living costs as well as what used to be called jobseeker’s allowance while you look for a new job. You pay your taxes, so this service is there for you. To find out how much you are eligible for, head to Entitled.to, a free and independent benefits calculator. How do I deal with redundancy and mental health? For a generation subliminally indoctrinated into believing our self-worth is defined by how many unread emails we have, we’ve internalised a lot of career-based nonsense that can hit us like a train if we take a knock. If you are a millennial, becoming unemployed is very likely to cut you deep. Despite your role being terminated for purely economic reasons which have nothing to do with you, of course it’s going to feel personal: you’ve poured your very being into a job that’s turned its back on you. But there’s no point crying into your hustle harder pyjamas while staring blankly at your KeepCup. Once your self-worth is circling the toilet bowl there’s no job in the world that could bring you back. First things first: just take a moment. Look yourself in the mirror and say “My job is not my identity” 200 times.I spoke to Emma Mamo, head of workplace wellbeing at mental health charity Mind, who said it was important not to skate over the psychological implications of a job loss because they can really spiral. She said: “You may feel a range of emotions – shock, anger, resentment, relief and much more – all in a short period of time and that’s absolutely okay. Also, remember that being made redundant is nothing to be ashamed of. You aren’t to blame. Make sure you give yourself space and time to express these feelings and talk to other people about what you are experiencing.” In fact, now is a very good time to reach out and allow friendly former colleagues and current friends to boost your self-esteem. On top of that, you need to be saying kind things to yourself about who you are and what you offer the world. Emma says that it’s always a good idea for your mental health to “spend some time reflecting on what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Write a list of all the brilliant skills and qualities you have, and take a moment to celebrate them.”If you feel like your mental health is really getting on top of you, then for please don’t plough on regardless or go to ground. There is help available. Mind has put together loads of very practical stuff about who exactly you can contact. If you are really concerned about debt, do not let it get on top of you. Good old Martin off of MoneySavingExpert has also put together this extremely useful guide on how to manage financial problems alongside mental health ones, including stuff like what you should and shouldn’t tell your bank about your issues, how to manage scary debts and benefits you can claim on account of mental health issues. If you are already in debt, then don’t bury your head; StepChange is incredibly helpful when it comes to giving you the tools you need to figure out the next steps.It’s super important to regroup for your own mental health but as founder of Seven career coaching Evelyn Cotter tells me, it will also massively benefit your career. “I see so many people who literally go through a grieving process and that is perfectly natural, your identity and sense of security has been threatened. That’s why you need to go through the whole thing and take stock. Lots of people aren’t prepared for redundancy.” But, she says, it’s a bad idea to start hurling yourself at the job market straightaway. “I know that action feels better than inaction – but it’s no good if your actions lack strategy. Even just a week is worth taking. “It’s a real moment for people to take a step back from the hamster wheel of what they were doing and work out what they really want.” How do I tell people I’ve been made redundant?You may not be feeling tip-top about the conditions of your redundancy but it’s important not to allow this to affect your future. “By all means vent to your friends with a glass of wine,” says Evelyn but when it comes to prospective new employers, “I would say don’t be an open book. People like someone to be honest but be wary of being too open about what’s happened. I find people fare best being open about losing their job when they have traction and a clear idea about where they are going next.” She continues: “Can you reframe your redundancy in your own head? Your brain is likely naturally leaning towards the negative but right now you’ll need to brainwash yourself positively. If you own the narrative about it not being the right job for you, you are clear to start new beginnings.” How do I go about getting a new job?When it comes to locking down a new gig, it doesn’t pay to apply for every job advertised. Career coach John Lees, author of How to Get a Job You Love, has a very straightforward approach. He says that when you find yourself jobless, “There are two outcomes you are looking for all the time. One is to shorten your job search time, the other is to improve your odds.”You might be tempted to start texting and emailing everyone you’ve ever met in a work-related situation like a maniac, but Evelyn advises starting with your own network. If you know any interesting connected people who you feel comfortable with, she recommends that you reach out to them and get a warm intro from someone they know.One of the benefits of everything being online right now is that you don’t have to leave the house to do your networking. Evelyn recommends engaging with the things people share on LinkedIn. See if people you admire are doing webinars or Instagram Lives you can get involved with. “Have a strategy – build up to it – be up to date with what they are doing. Find some people whose careers you admire and whose work you admire. Shortlist them and find a way to them – maybe a 15-20 minute coffee or Zoom call. The natural goodwill of people to help someone out is so often underestimated by my clients.”John agrees these meaningful connections are so important. “When people feel connected to you, they start having ideas on your behalf which is what you want. I would recommend you do some work researching companies, even if they aren’t hiring. Who in theory could have a need for you? Waiting to see roles advertised in a recession is actually a bit of a dangerous strategy because people apply for anything and everything.” A better strategy, he says, is to find an organisation which may need the skills you’ve got at some point. Make a direct approach. Don’t overcomplicate your message. Don’t send a CV. Do send a short email with six bullet points summarising your career history. But do your homework. Find out what challenges they might be struggling with in the pandemic. If they have laid people off, where did they lose staff? You can present yourself as an opportunity to that company. He also says, “Do the simple stuff like making sure your LinkedIn looks brilliant as you can bet that’s the first thing they will look at.”Since your LinkedIn is essentially your shop window now, I asked one of their career coaches, Charlotte Davies, how you can jazz yours up. In her view, the more info on your page the better. “Make sure that it reflects your personality. If you don’t wear a suit for work, don’t wear a suit in your profile photo; share articles that align to your interests as well as your industry and include any volunteering or passions that are important to you, as it may well become a talking point with a future employer.” Members with profile photos receive up to 21x more profile views, she advises. “We’ve also seen that having your current position listed could make you receive up to 10x more messages.” Also, hot tip: if you list more than five skills on your profile, you’re 27x more likely to be discovered in searches by recruiters. Employers can see how you work and which roles might suit you.It can be pretty hard and lonely doing all of this digitally but when you do get that face-to-face time, Evelyn says there are even little tweaks you can make there. “Have a nice wide shot on Zoom to make sure they can see you gesticulating with your hands. It sounds silly but get your tech right. Make sure your audio is good quality. You don’t want anyone to have struggles connecting to you.” Are there any positives? Finally, without sounding like a total nihilist, it’s worth remembering that for many of us, jobs are often just sending emails about other emails, punctuated by the odd tuna baguette and you are so very much more than that. So, in the quiet moments, it’s worth asking if maybe a redundancy was the perfect moment to come up for air. There is something quite exhilarating about the prospect that you can do literally anything during a moment when the entire world has had a major wakeup call about the meaning of life. Could this spell the start of a whole new chapter for you?Even if you are currently in a blind panic, know that when you hold your nerve and seek the right support, it will pass. People will tell you that you’ll be fine over and over again and it will be quite annoying at the time, but the truth is, you really will. Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?This Influencer PA Job Advert Has Gone ViralThe Money Habit We Want To Keep After LockdownMoney Diary: A Support Worker In Aberdeen
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HealthRefinery 29 UKUnderboob Sweat Is Real. But We Have Solutions
What with the pandemic and the general state of things at the minute, the fact that it’s summer and not the depressing depths of winter has been a blessing. But one major downside is the dreaded underboob sweat that accompanies the heat. No one likes the feeling of their boobs being soaked in perspiration. A drenched sports bra is a killjoy. And it’s not just a comfort thing: Boob sweat can cause skin rashes and bacterial infections as well, says Alyssa Golas, MD, clinical assistant professor in the Hansjorg Wyss Department of Plastic Surgery at NYU Langone Health. She says candida loves a moist, warm, dark environment — like your underboob. You could end up with a fungal, bacterial, or yeast infection on the skin, which can be itchy and painful, and may even require a prescription cream to treat. (If you notice symptoms such as continuous itching, spots, or split skin, you may want to talk to a doctor.)Boob sweat can plague anyone in the summer, especially during workouts. But some women are more likely to deal with the nuisance, including those who have bigger breasts and folks going through hormonal changes such as pregnancy, nursing, or menopause, explains Maryann Mikhail, MD, a dermatologist at The University of Miami.It’s super common, and typically harmless. The strategies here — listed from least to most extreme — should help you stay dry. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed by it,” Dr. Golas adds. “The majority of women with large breasts have this problem, but they don’t want to talk about it. But once they know it’s common, it’s easier to discuss and treat.” Preach, Golas, preach! Powder upDust on a sweat-fighting body powder, says Dr. Golas. An anti-chafing powder may help too, she says. (Not a lubricant stick or petroleum jelly, which is meant to keep things feeling moist.) Good, old-fashioned corn starch can also absorb perspiration. And some women swear by the same antiperspirant they use under their arms. Wear the right bra Some of Dr. Golas’s patients stick maxi pads to their bras, to help sop up their underboob sweat. But the right kind of bra and shirt can do a better job of keeping you dry. “The best options are cooling bras, bras designed to wick sweat, or those made of breathable fabrics like cotton, bamboo, or soft lace,” Dr. Mikhail says. “Full-support bras or push-up bras can help by keeping the breasts from laying on the chest wall.”She adds it’s best to avoid synthetic fabrics such as polyester or rayon, as well as padded bras because the extra material may cause even more sweating. When it comes to your top, wear shirts or dresses made of breathable and sweat-wicking fabrics, suggests Dr. Mikhail. Carry wipesOf course, life happens. You might find yourself running to catch a bus on a hot summer day, or maybe the air conditioning will suddenly conk out when you’re at a formal dinner. Maybe you’ll be kidnapped and left to fend for yourself in the desert! The world is full of crazy possibilities, so it’s best to be prepared. Keep alcohol-based wipes on hand for knockers-related emergencies. They can’t stop you from sweating the way that a deodorant might, but they can close your pores a bit to reduce sweating. Botox In general, there’s no need to talk to a doctor if your sweaty boobs are occasional or just when you workout, says Dr. Golas. “But if you’re wearing regular, nice clothing or a normal bra and it’s happening in the AC, that can be problematic, so you should seek out treatment.” That treatment might include botox, which is an FDA-approved remedy for excessive perspiration. The injections block the nerve signals that make you sweat. Each round lasts from three to six months, and may cost up to $1,000 (£800). Breast surgery Maybe underboob sweat is just one more problem in a long line of issues you have with your breasts. Maybe you also get intense back pain; you’re plagued with frequent irritation; or you just don’t feel comfortable with the size of your breasts. In some specific and extreme scenarios, Dr. Golas says that breast reduction surgery could be an appropriate solution. “If someone has large breasts and they’re interested in a reduction, they should see a board certified plastic surgeon,” she says, adding that in some cases, a breast lift could be worth exploring too.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?The Best High Impact Sports BrasThe One Tattoo You Should Get This SummerIs It Bad That I Haven't Worn A Bra In 3 Months?
CelebrityThe TelegraphThe Santa Barbara set: inside the glamorous world Harry and Meghan can now call home
In 2011, while visiting the beautiful beachside city of Santa Barbara with his wife, Prince William remarked: “My father, the Prince of Wales, and my brother, Harry, were as green as that grass outside when I told them I’d be here today.” He could hardly have imagined that little under a decade later his younger sibling would be setting up home in that very same place, following an acrimonious departure from Britain – and the working duties of the Royal Family. Yet, this week reports emerged that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have purchased a $10 million “family home” in the upmarket coastal city – which bills itself as the “American Riviera” – with the intention of putting down roots. A spokesperson for the couple has since confirmed the move to The Telegraph. “This is where they want to bring Archie up,” a source revealed. “Where they hope he can have as normal a life as possible.” As seventh in line to the throne, whether Archie can ever enjoy a normal life – especially in California – is questionable. But, geographically at least, Santa Barbara is an ideal location for his (semi) financially-independent parents: nestled between the Pacific Ocean and Santa Ynez Mountains, it’s just an hour’s drive to Los Angeles, where Meghan still retains a business manager, and an hour’s flight to Silicon Valley. The latter will enable Harry easy access to the tech moguls he rubbed shoulders with at last year’s Google summit in Sicily – where the prince gave a barefoot speech about the dangers of climate change – as well as plenty of opportunities to continue his campaign against social media. Although the latter is probably unlikely to earn him an invitation to lunch at Padaro Beach Grill – one of Santa Barbara’s many celebrity haunts – with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who’s been spotted there. Still, the couple already have a number of friends and acquaintances in the neighborhood. Oprah, who attended Harry and Meghan’s wedding in May 2018, and with whom Harry is working on a docu-series about mental health, owns a number of properties in Santa Barbara, including an $100 million estate named “Promised Land”. While Santa Barbara-born pop star Katy Perry and her fiancé, actor Orlando Bloom, have been spotted house-hunting in the area only this week.
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