Psychologist reveals the exact age your child should be given a smartphone

Marie-Claire Dorking
·Contributor
Updated ·5-min read
Teenage girl on her mobile phone. (Getty Images)
Experts have revealed the age children should be given a mobile phone. (Getty Images)

There's no getting round the fact that kids today are tech-savvy, with the screen time issue often topping the list of parenting dilemmas.

With new research, by Bionic, revealing our youngest generation, better known as Gen Alpha (those born from 2010 to 2024), are set to spend 37 years of their lives looking at screens, it's little wonder parents are unsure about how early their children should be given their own phones.

Data from Ofcom reveals that the vast majority of children in the UK own a smartphone by the age of 11, with ownership rising from 44% at age nine to 91% at age 11.

Meanwhile one in five three and four-year-olds and almost a quarter of kids aged 5-7 in the UK have their own mobile phone, according to the same Ofcom research.

But how do you know if your child is ready to have a mobile phone?

As children transition from primary to secondary school, many parents consider giving them their own mobile phone.

But Nilou Esmaeilpour, a psychologist, clinical counsellor and founder of Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre, believes that between the ages of 12-14 is the best age to give your child their own device.

This is up to nine years older than the age of 5-7 which OffCom revealed as the age almost a quarter of children have their own mobile phone.

“At this age, children tend to be more responsible and able to understand what the device is all about, including matters of privacy and keeping themselves safe online," he revealed to Bionic.

"Moreover, most of them are mature enough to handle their responsibilities with respect to a phone, be it following usage guidelines or not falling prey to possible distractions."

Parents are concerned about the age to give their child a mobile phone. (Getty Images)
Parents are concerned about the age to give their child a mobile phone. (Getty Images)

Esmaeilpour says this age also brings the onset of minor independence, such as travelling to school or for extracurricular activities alone, where having a phone becomes very important from a safety and contact perspective.

"Finally, the complex social dynamics are established in senior school, and having a phone would keep them in touch with peers—an element of social development,” she adds.

Of course your child receiving their first phone is a big moment for families, but it can also bring some concerns for parents, including the fear it will lead to a significant increase in their screen time.

Thankfully, there are some ways to set boundaries to ensure children maintain a healthy balance and stay safe online.

No phone use after 8pm. "This will ensure that too much screen time does not mess with your child's sleep," advises Esmaeilpour.

Set phone-free zones. Such as during dinner or while the family is together. "This helps in face-to-face communication and bonding within a family," says Esmaeilpour.

Create digital detox periods. Esmaeilpour suggests parents encourage time-frames when their children go completely phone or screen-free. "This could include screen-free weekends or a few hours in the day for non-screen activities,” she adds.

Open the dialogue. Esmaeilpour says the discussion and acceptance of what constitutes acceptable online behaviour in terms of the content they are allowed to view and share is important.

Set parental controls. "The use of parental control features that monitor and limit the usage will help children slowly learn self-regulation and responsible use," Esmaeilpour explains.

School girls with mobile phones. (Getty Images)
Parents have to cope with the peer pressure of their friends having a phone. (Getty Images)

Esmaeilpour says delaying giving your child their own mobile phone can significantly reduce their overall screen time.

However, once their peers start getting devices, parents may feel pressured to follow suit, but there are some ways to manage the situation.

Vocalise your reasons. Esmaeilpour suggests keeping the lines of communication open about your concerns and why you are making the choices you make. "Explain to them why it is good to wait until they are ready; and how that's going to benefit them in terms of wellbeing and safety," she adds. 

Ease them into having their own phone. Esmaeilpour recommends allowing them to use a shared device in the house where more stringent control over its use may be exercised or having some type of basic phone model with limited functionality.

Speak to other parents. “Partnering with other parents to form a support network can also work quite effectively in an effort to maintain similar expectations of rules related to phones among their friends,” Esmaeilpour explains.

Deflect attention. “It's also good to direct attention to other aspects of a child's life, such as some hobby, sport, or social activity unrelated to screens,” Esmaeilpour adds.

Reinforce readiness and responsibility. "By setting examples to show that they truly mean something, parents can lighten the pressure and enable children to learn the worth of waiting,” Esmaeilpour explains.

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