'My husband died when I was pregnant but I've learnt to find happiness'
Watch: My husband was killed when I was 17 weeks pregnant - I miss him every single day
A woman has revealed how she has learnt to find happiness in every day after losing her husband when she was 17 weeks pregnant with their first baby.
Sophie Ransom, 26, a project manager from Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, says she felt something she describes as “wife’s intuition” when she woke up without her husband Paul, 25, next to her on the morning of May 24, 2023.
She was later told by police he’d been in a collision on his Suzuki motorbike and died at the scene.
The new mum says she lived on autopilot for the month following his death, but when she felt her baby kicking for the first time, she says she had a reason to carry on.
Now, she says she wakes up with the intention to “smile and laugh at least once a day” despite initially believing she could never be happy again.
Sophie and Paul met in October 2016, when they were both 19-years-old, and had matched on Tinder.
After exchanging a few messages, Paul asked Sophie out for a drink.
"I said no at first," she says. "Because I wasn’t just going to meet someone off a dating app."
But the pair bumped into each other by chance several nights later, when Sophie was out with her flatmate at a bar.
"It was completely unplanned," Sophie explains. “It was lovely, he spent the whole night chatting to me and my friend - he came across as really kind."
Paul and Sophie quickly began a relationship, and got engaged on October 6, 2021.
Just over a month later, on November 13, they were married.
"Our relationship was near-perfect," Sophie says.
“Paul is just the funniest and kindest person I’ve ever met - he’d make people feel really comfortable.
"He never had a bad word to say about anybody and he’d do anything for you.
"In fact, the only thing about him that wasn’t perfect was how messy he could be!"
On the morning of her husband's death Sophie woke up without Paul next to her.
Initially thinking he was just at work, Sophie wasn’t worried.
She recalls “popping out to get some milk” and returning home to a missed call from his boss.
"I rang back, and the first thing he asked me was, ‘is Paul okay?’
"I said, ‘well, you tell me - because he’s not here.’
"My stomach just dropped and I instantly had an intuition that something had happened."
Panicking, Sophie began looking back through her Ring doorbell recording, desperately checking for footage of Paul leaving for work.
Unable to find anything, she rang Suffolk Constabulary and asked them if there had been any recently reported accidents in the area.
“The lady on the phone was really calm,” she continues. “She asked me to describe Paul - and said someone would contact me really soon.
"About 30 minutes later, police knocked on the door.
“They told me, Paul had been in an accident, and hadn't survived his injuries.
"I was in disbelief. I knew something must have happened to him, but I didn’t think I'd lose him.
"I was thinking, worst case scenario, if he'd been in an accident I’d have to look after him and the baby, but he didn’t even make it to hospital."
Sophie says the first few weeks after hearing the news passed in a "blur" as she sorted through the couple’s mortgage and bills, as well as organising Paul’s funeral.
Over 250 people attended the funeral, which took place on July 1, 2023, at a “beautiful crematorium surrounded by wildlife.”
"I didn’t want it to be called a funeral - it was a celebration of his life," Sophie explains.
"It was sad, but I didn’t want everyone’s lasting memory to be really sad.
"He was such a positive, upbeat person - so I told everyone to wear coloured clothing.
"The celebrant told loads of funny stories about him - and the final song was our first dance song, Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.
“It was a beautiful service.”
It was around this time Sophie started to feel her baby kick for the first time and this gave her the boost she needed to try to start living her life to the full again.
"I thought, 'I’ve got to get on, I’ve got her to look after now, as well as myself'.”
Sophie gave birth to baby Poppy on October 28, 2023 at 11:30pm via C-section, weighing 6lbs 6oz and is now looking to the future.
"I need to make life as good as it can be for me and Poppy," she says.
"In those early weeks after Paul died, I didn’t want to be around anybody.
"I was shaking all the time, I couldn’t eat," she continues.
"But now, even though I miss him so much, I’m trying to be happy.
"I make a conscious decision to get up - I have to try and keep going.
"Life as a young widow is hard - it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and so exhausting.
"I wish Paul was here, every single day, but there’s happiness in my life every single day it's a privilege to keep on living for my daughter."
Additional reporting SWNS.
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