How parents can avoid sibling rivalry, as warring Oasis brothers reunite
It’s finally happened - after nearly 15 years apart, Liam and Noel Gallagher have announced they will reunite for a massive Oasis tour in 2025.
The brothers are arguably one of the most infamous cases of sibling rivalry in the world. Oasis first formed in Manchester in 1991 and rose to fame with the release of their debut album Definitely Maybe two years later.
But their road to success was beset with disputes between Liam and Noel, whose sibling rivalry often got the better of them. Oasis became one of the most globally successful bands of the Britpop genre, but the band split in 2009 when the warring brothers fell out in a backstage fight.
While their reunion is a welcome announcement for Oasis fans - thousands of whom will be trying to get their hands on tickets to the band’s shows next summer - it has sparked conversations around sibling rivalry and how it can be dealt with.
What is sibling rivalry?
Siblings have always competed and squabbled with one another, so a bit of rivalry is a really normal feature of family life. However, sometimes it can go too far - as it did with the Gallagher brothers, whose rivalry destroyed their relationship for the past 15 years.
According to Harvard Medical School, sibling rivalry can be useful as it sometimes “helps to push children to do and be better”. However, too much competition, jealousy and bullying between siblings can have a lasting impact on children’s view of themselves and their family relationships.
4 ways parents can avoid sibling rivalry
Parenting and education expert Kim Esnard, from early years initiative tiney, shares her tips on how parents can encourage positive sibling relationships.
Encourage 'I', not 'you'
"Teach your children to communicate their feelings using ‘I’ statements rather than ‘you’ statements. This approach fosters empathy and reduces defensiveness, helping siblings express their emotions constructively.
"For example, instead of saying, ‘You never let me play’, encourage them to say, ‘I feel sad when I’m not included in the game’. This subtle shift promotes understanding and opens the door to healthy discussions."
Promote individual growth over comparison
"Competition can be healthy and constructive for children, as it can motivate them to work harder and push themselves to excel - this should be encouraged. From an early age, getting them to celebrate each other’s wins and achievements as you celebrate them as a family and honour the unique gifts that each child brings makes this an easier transition during the different stages of childhood.
"We can avoid unhealthy rivalry by not comparing grades or expressing disappointment if they have a different way of learning to their sibling, and avoiding comparing them to others. Children tend to store these comparisons and then later try to find ways to make sure they are seen and valued in their own right."
Create special one-on-one moments
"This is one of the biggest keys to decreasing sibling rivalry, so we encourage you to make an effort to spend one-on-one quality time with each sibling, perhaps setting aside time each week or month for an activity that they enjoy. Even a focused 15 minutes a day will make a huge deposit into their emotional wellbeing bank and strengthen all other relationships.
"Showing an interest in their interests will also help them to feel valued as a unique and individual child. If it’s not feasible to spend separate time with each child, figure out what activities both (or all) of your children will enjoy and make a big effort to show that this is special, family time for all of you.
"Boredom often is the biggest cause of friction and can have a direct effect on sibling rivalry; ensuring that they have enough fresh air, exercise, rest, nutritious food and stimulated learning activities will all enhance the cohesion within the family."
Empower them to resolve conflicts
"Children do go through stages of learning when it comes to their feelings and behaviour and this will always test us as parents whilst remembering that all behaviour is communication.
"Teach your children conflict-resolution skills by allowing them to find their own solutions. Guide them in recognising and managing their emotions, but trust them to work out disagreements on their own when they’re calm. By stepping back and showing confidence in their ability to resolve conflicts, you empower them to develop crucial social skills that will serve them throughout life."
Read more about parenting:
How to get your children off their phones at the dinner table (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
Should children be allowed in pubs? (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)
How to start co-parenting, as Molly-Mae Hague and Tommy Fury split (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
