20 Of The Most Effective Parenting And Home Habits That Were So Good, People Passed Them On From Their Own Parents
Recently, I wrote an article where teachers shared all the things that boomer parents "did right" that millennials have kind of forgotten about, and it was actually pretty positive!
Even as adults, the urge to call mom or dad for advice is often present, whether you're dealing with managing life in your own apartment for the first time or dealing with the antics of your own child. So, I thought it'd be nice to ask members of our BuzzFeed Community to tell me the most effective housekeeping or parenting hack they ever learned from their parents! Here are some of their best answers:
1."In most ways, I learned what NOT to do from my parents. But the one thing I do appreciate is that my mom taught me, a woman, to never be ashamed of or try to hide my intelligence."
20th Century Studios
"I’ve seen far too many women play dumb because they think it’s a cute look and it’s super obnoxious. That’s not to say I was taught to talk down to people, but just to enjoy learning and disregard people who would criticize me for it."
2."I remember several occasions when I would have a friend over and we would disagree about something or argue, and my mom would come in to see what was happening. She would hear both of us out, but would always defend the friend, if not for their point of view, but to remind me not to be rude to others."
Fox
"I used to be so angry that she wouldn't side with me by default. I later realized she was teaching me empathy.
The friend was a guest and I was on home turf. It would have seemed like ganging up if [my mom had taken] my side, and [she] was always gentle and diplomatic about it, never critical to me. I never got the same treatment at anyone else's house; their parents always sided with them, which made my mom's approach stand out even more."
3."No allowances. Why should you get paid to clean up after yourself? [For] small amounts of cash, just ask. [For] bigger spends, there is always a list of things no one wants/has time to do."
4."My parents always taught me and my sisters that it isn't enough to tell kids, 'This is the healthy way to react to a negative situation,' you have to demonstrate it yourself."
"It is truly the biggest challenge to show instead of tell my kids how to react to disappointment, bad news, mistakes, arguments with loved ones, etc., but it helps to remind myself that I am actively teaching them with every reaction I have."
—Anonymous
5."Clean the kitchen as you cook."
"When I first started cooking, I would cook and end up with a big mess at the end, then my mom showed me how to clean as I went along, washing the mixing bowl, the cutting board, knives, or spatulas, frying pan, etc., so I did not end up with a huge cleanup job."
6."The older you get, the decisions you make become much bigger and much less reversible."
7."Switch out your kids' toys! Were they playing with something a bunch, [but then] lost interest? Pack it away and bring it back out a month or two later. It helps keep them entertained without having to buy new toys."
8."If you are going to be going on a trip, make sure your house is spotless before you leave."
"[There's] nothing like coming back exhausted [to] a messy house that you have to clean, plus all the laundry from the trip. You're already slightly frazzled; you don't want to come back to more chaos."
9."My stepfather would lure me out to the balcony with a bowl of pot whenever he wanted to have a father-son talk. I always felt like it was pretty smooth considering that I fell for it every time."
10."For cleaning: always shake each item loose when pulling it out of the washer before tossing it into the dryer. It helps it dry better."
11."For parenting: Don't fill your calendars so full that there [are] no evenings for all of you to sit down together at the dinner table, talk about your day, and then hang together until bedtime."
"Evenings like that are a precious gift, plus kids and teens these days are way too overloaded and stressed, with too much on their plates. Do them a favor and have them just do one thing at a time. It's better for them and for the family as a whole.
And each morning before school sit down with them at breakfast for at least five minutes if you can, and give them your undivided attention."
12."When I was little and wanted to stay up late, my dad would let me watch Frankenstein. I thought it was so cool and that I was staying up soooo late."
Universal Pictures
"Joke's on me, that movie is only 64 minutes long :). He basically let me stay up an hour and go to bed peacefully instead of [dealing with] two hours of resisting going to bed, lol."
"The power of compromise. That’s some great parenting."
13."My parents allowed us as children to be bored! We didn’t always have something to entertain us 24/7."
"Sometimes, especially during a storm, our parents would turn off the TV and lights and make us sit in the dark, or tell us we couldn’t watch TV and to go outside or read a book. I thought it was cruel as a child, but it helped us learn how to sit through boring church services every Sunday and have fewer interruptions during school. Parents these days want to push a screen in front of a child anytime they get rowdy."
14."You're a parent FIRST — not your child's friend. Growing up, I was so upset that my parents weren't the 'cool' [parents], letting me get away with anything I wanted, because [that's how] all my friends' parents were."
"I'm now thankful I had boundaries, and when I hit adulthood my parents became my best friends in ADDITION to their role as Mom and Dad. It was almost like a fun, new relationship.
I did the same with my son, and now that he is also an adult we are close friends as well. I gave him structure as my parents did and it worked.
Yes, I pushed limits and got in trouble a few times, as did my son, but we didn't grow up to be assholes — at least, I like to think we didn't!"
15."Take time with your children."
"Our family appeared to be the Leave it to Beaver household. My dad worked two jobs and my mom stayed home with my two siblings and me. We had a comfortable clean house, clean clothes, [and] home-cooked meals, but no hugs, kisses, or 'I love yous.'
I vowed never to be that parent, and I wasn’t. I held my kids on my lap, hugged them, read books, and played games. I got involved as a volunteer at their school and tucked them into bed with plenty of hugs and kisses. They are now adults and they call me every few days to 'check in.' So give those kiddos plenty of love and attention. Everyone needs and deserves love.❤️"
16."I keep getting a rust ring in my sink. I have learned that baking soda and vinegar with a scouring sponge takes care of that."
—Anonymous
17."In regards to my well-being, my mom always had this rule: if you haven't done anything about the issue, you're not allowed to complain."
"Have a nasty headache? Did you take any medicine or drink enough water? If not, no complaints until you make an attempt to remedy the issue. It taught me to take better care of myself and not neglect the things I need."
—Anonymous
18."Late boomer parent here. My sister-in-law, a nutritionist, said to give babies the same food you’re eating, mashed up in a blender (after being frozen in ice cube trays and then thawed), and then the babies will become used to the flavor and texture of real food. Plus, you’ll save money compared to buying processed [baby food]."
"Did we do this 100% of the time? Of course not! But we did it more often than not, and our kids grew up loving a wider range of foods than many of their friends. And they love to cook as adults!"
—Anonymous
19."Not my mom, but my grandma used to tell her blue-eyed kids that she could tell when they were lying because their eyes turned brown. I did the same with my kid and she believed it all the way up until high school. Thanks, Grams! :)"
—Anonymous
20.And finally: "Cleaning as part of play!"
"My mom would organize our toys into bags and we were allowed to have a certain number of bags out. Once we reached the limit we would have to switch a bag out if we wanted different toys, or else just play with the ones we had out.
We were always cleaning up to 'make room' for other toys. This made it so there was never a huge mess, and we wanted to clean up to get new toys out. As a mom now I’ve kept this, and my mom friends are always surprised at how well my 3-year-old cleans up. I really think it taught us to clean up in a way that didn’t feel like a punishment."
—Anonymous
Some of these are so helpful. Let me know what you think down below! Or, if you want, you can even share your own parent-inherited advice down below — or anonymously, if you like, via this Google form. Who knows — it could end up in an upcoming BuzzFeed article!
Note: some comments may have been edited for length and/or clarity.
