People Who Thought They Were Going To Marry Their Significant Other But Instead Fleed The Relationship Are Sharing What Happened
Unfortunately, breakups happen all the time for various reasons (or sometimes people don't have to have a big reason. They could just not be feeling the relationship anymore). Major red flags for these people of the BuzzFeed Community and on Reddit revealed that their significant other was no longer spouse material. Here is what caused people to hit the high road:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1."My fiancé had a history of cheating on me, and he wouldn't so much as take a photo with me. I suspect he wanted to look single online. I should have left sooner, but I'd been in love with him since middle school and felt marrying him was a literal dream come true. I met a man in the waiting room at my psychiatrist. He was often there at the same time as me, and we became fast friends. When he asked for my number, I told him I couldn't give it because I was engaged. He said, 'Be engaged to me instead.' I broke off my engagement a few days later. I and the man I'd met in my doctor's office eloped, and 10 years later, I've never regretted my decision. He's my best friend, and I'm genuinely happy with him and our life together. He's also never cheated on me, and there are plenty of photos of us and our family."
2."When he said that one of the girls in my friend group has 'perfectly shaped boobs'. Seems like a small thing, but he knew my chest was my biggest insecurity. We were out with his best friend too, and they both watched as I just started tearing up instead of being pissed; the rest of the night, my boyfriend's friend made an effort to make sure I was okay and apologized on his behalf. My boyfriend and I spent this past year together, and it was a beautiful relationship for the most part. I loved him in every way possible, and we could see each other spending a long time together. I love his family with my whole heart, and they showed me kindness and welcomed me into their family with open arms. I consider his sister one of my best friends, and it's hard writing this thinking I may not speak to any of them again."
"He checked all my boxes; he was open-minded with the same curiosity for the world as me; he was kind, funny, and patient, and our futures aligned in such an amazing way; on paper, we had no reason for our relationship not to last forever. but we never went on dates, or at least he never would take me out; when we would go out, it came down to me having to plan out the whole day and force him to get up and go in order for us to ever leave the house, usually ended with me paying or us splitting 50/50. This really started to wear on me when I noticed how effortlessly he makes plans for himself when he wants to do things that usually don't involve me (mostly golfing).
When it came to his plans and things he wanted to do, I would always make it my first priority, and I would always show up, whether that was him wanting to try a new restaurant of his liking or hanging out with old friends; I was always there. He began to make me feel that I was not important to him in certain ways. The best way I could explain it to him was that he would never give me his free time because he was constantly making plans (golfing or going on weekend trips with the boys) on my days off without any mention to me. I was constantly booking days off to make sure we would spend time together. When he would complain, I would be working all weekend, and then I would be left feeling horrible about myself most weekends as my plans were always pushed aside if he found something better to do.
"I felt that I was becoming insecure, and it was wearing on my self-esteem as I have no problem getting male attention, but felt like I had to beg for his. I'm 20(F), and I am so young. I am way too young to stay in a relationship that makes me feel hard to love."
3."Strangely enough, it wasn’t when he said, 'I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to marry you.' It was when I brought up him saying that later, and he said, 'I never said that!'
4."He has no self-control or accountability when he is upset. A couple years into our relationship a switched flipped in him where he wasn’t afraid to hide his terrible temper anymore. I could never have kids with someone like that."
5."I lived and worked in a city that was a 4.5-hour drive from where she lived. We’d been engaged for just a few months when I found her in a passionate embrace with a guy she worked with. We were to meet at a club. She was already there when I arrived and saw what she was doing. I didn’t say anything but instead drove the 4.5 hours back to my residence. The next morning, she called me, asking why I didn’t show up the previous night. I described the scene that I witnessed and told her she could have him. The next weekend I gathered her belongings and drove them to her."
6."He thought a fun surprise date would be going engagement ring shopping. We had been dating for five months. I was 21, had two years of grad school left, and we had NOT talked seriously about marriage. I almost pitched a whole fit in that jewelry store, but the young man helping us out was SO nice and I couldn’t do it to him. This made me realize my now-ex had his own ideas and timelines for both me and our relationship, which made us utterly incompatible."
7."I was dating a man with so many red flags I just believe I was dickmatized. First off, he lied; he said he had a job but was actually staying home watching his baby while his then-girlfriend worked, and at that time, he said he worked at the hotel where she was actually working. On one occasion, I sent him to the Redbox to get some movies for us, and he stole money. It had me thinking it was my kids, and all along, it was him, I just actually found that out 8 years later. He moved in with me months later and was stealing from my daughter and son making me think they were lying because they didn’t like him."
"After all that, he went into my daughter's room with just us three home and stole her $20, and I know he did it. He’s cheated on me multiple times and has different women calling him at all times of the night. He also went with me to abort our baby, and one of the ladies there left her wallet at the counter. He took it, went into the men’s bathroom, took all the money out, and then left me there by myself while everyone was looking at me. I was so embarrassed he didn’t care at all. He continued to get worse over the years. I finally got the courage to leave him. I just couldn’t take it anymore."
8."When I told him I would be busy studying for my finals and I might not be able to reply so soon to his calls or texts. He initially said he was ok, but after just a couple of days, he was mad and called me, asking me to choose between my career and his. Jokes on him. I obviously chose my career. Later in life, I met my current partner, and he would stay overnight helping me study."
9."Mine was my college sweetheart. He and I had actually been together since our senior year of high school. We went to two different colleges, but both were in the same city. Right before our senior year, after he'd proposed, it turned out that he stole the tuition money his parents had given him, dropped out of college, and was literally bumming around for an entire year. He lied to his parents and me and only came clean when he got found out by his dad coming on campus to surprise him. The registrar said he hadn't been in class since the year before and hadn't paid his tuition. Needless to say, his lies are what broke us up. College isn't for everyone, but his making up stories about his professors and blowing through $50k in a year? Not cool."
10."I spent 13 years with him. At first, it was pretty great, but then it started to get complicated. Work was not going well for him, and he started to drink more and more often. He was a trust fund kid, so he didn’t have much motivation to work. Meanwhile, I was working my a** off because, you know, the trust fund was his and all. Finally, he decided that if we just moved back to LA one more time, he would study screenwriting, become successful, and everything would be fine. So I flew out there and found a job. When I got back, I found out his mother had just bought him a condo in the city where we lived. He informed me that we couldn’t live together anymore because the condo’s homeowner association wouldn’t allow 'subleasing,' and that’s what it would be. I was surprised, of course, but mostly because I realized, in my heart, I had already left him. So I packed up my stuff and went back to LA."
11."When he told me his phone conversations with his ex-wife were 'private.'"
12."I realized it when he was having sex more than I was. He would cheat left and right and with anyone. One of his affair things stalked me and assaulted me. When I was in the hospital and told him, he said it was my fault. I guess because when I found out about him and his thing, I contacted her boyfriend and told him. Looking back, I cannot fathom my stupidity for wasting so much time with him. Everyone knew he was messing around, and here I was thinking, this is the guy. Plus, when I think about him cheating with this girl and after seeing her and knowing the sex position he liked, I can’t figure out the sheer mechanics of how they even were able too."
13."After my brother died after fighting lung cancer, my ex said, 'Oh, I’m sorry,' and walked into the other room. He never said another word about his death. I knew at that moment he didn’t love me. Two months later, I left him, and a month after that, I met my now husband, who is the sweetest, most loving man in the world. I like to think my brother sent him to me. I’m sorry for your loss."
14."The relationship wasn‘t happy or healthy anymore, but I didn‘t see it. I was completely delulu for a long time. One day she told me, 'Even if we would not be a couple, we would be very good friends.' And I thought, 'The fuck?' No, we wouldn’t.' That made me realize that a lot of things were incredibly wrong and made me rethink and evaluate the whole relationship."
15."He was going through major life changes, and as a result, his communication skills got worse and worse, and he was dissociating. I would send him resources upon resources to find affordable therapy and support groups, but he was unwilling to even try. Can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves."
Do you have a story to share? If so, tell me all about it in the comments below!
