This dad says his wife comes before their kids—and the internet has thoughts
When you have kids, your relationship can start feeling like the last thing on your priority list. Between school projects, sleepless nights, gymnastics classes, and playdates, parenting quickly takes over. And if we’re being honest, a lot of us take out our stress and exhaustion on our partners. I know my husband and I have had plenty of moments where we turn on each other instead of tackling the chaos as a team.
But one dad, Stevie Hendrix, is making waves for his take on family priorities—arguing that his marriage comes first, even before his kids.
“Mom comes first”
In a clip from The Long Game podcast that’s now viral on Instagram, Hendrix explains why he openly tells his kids that his wife is his number one priority.
“I came home, I would tell my kids, ‘I’m spending time with your mom, and she’s first. And you guys can play for a little bit, but I’m gonna sit on the couch, and I’m gonna hang out with your mom,’” he says in the video.
His reasoning? When kids see their parents prioritize each other, they actually feel more secure, not less.
“By loving your spouse, you are actually even, by extension, loving your kids,” he adds.
Related: This dad explains why he prioritizes his wife’s need for alone time after kids
The internet is deeply divided
Naturally, people have opinions about this. Some commenters were all for it.
@art_by_nico shared, “My parents were like this with each other… never made me feel hurt. Just taught me the importance of prioritizing my partner. I always felt 100% loved and prioritized as a child.”
Another agreed, with @drbrittlashua commenting, “I love that you’re saying this!! There is research that supports this!
”
Others, however, weren’t sold.
“No. I’d much rather he prioritize our children. WE can have our time later,” wrote @jenbuneee.
As a stay-at-home mom, @alexag1720 had a different perspective: “As a SAHM, please greet the kids first. Hang out with them first. They’ve missed you too. We can make time for ourselves after. That greeting committee (as we call it) is one of the best parts of my husband’s day and mine. So sweet to watch my hubs embrace his kids and spend time with them.”
Meanwhile, @anitaashahhh had a more direct take: “Partner is always a priority, period.”
I work with (neurodivergent families), this would simply not work,” they wrote.
Does putting your spouse first really work?
The idea of prioritizing your partner over your kids isn’t new. Experts have debated for years whether it actually benefits the family unit in the long run. Some marriage counselors argue that a strong relationship between parents provides stability for children.
Greg Douglas, LMHC, explains, “The strength of your marriage is actually the first priority and the needs of your children come second. By prioritizing your marriage, you are providing tons of benefits.”
Dr. Donna Novak agrees, saying, “Having a strong connected marriage allows you to get the support you need to face all parts of life, including the life journey of parenthood.”
At the end of the day, what works for one family might not work for another. Some kids thrive seeing their parents put each other first, while others might struggle with feeling second place. Like everything in parenting, balance is key.
Related: The honest truth about how my marriage has changed since having kids
What do you think?
Would you openly tell your kids that your spouse comes first? Or does this approach feel outdated? Let us know in the comments.
