Leave Chrissy Teigen alone – I still have a bath with my seven and nine-year-old daughters

Jennifer Barton, 42, is a freelance writer who still enjoys family bathtimes with her nine and seven-year-old daughters. She lives in London with her husband Will and four kids. Here, she explores the the backlash against Chrissy Teigen’s latest Instagram post…

When Chrissy Teigen posted a smiling photo of herself on Instagram in the bath with three of her four kids – Miles, six, Esti, two, and Wren, one, her post got nearly 370k likes. But it also ignited a fierce debate, with thousands of followers commenting it was "weird" and "creepy" that Teigen bathed with her kids, particularly her older son.

"Your boys are too old to be in the bath with you. Not appropriate at all," one follower wrote under the model, television personality and author’s post.

Another commenter argued: "She should be arrested. If her husband did this with his daughters??!!!" (A reference to Luna, eight, who isn’t pictured – Teigen’s eldest child with musician John Legend.)

The joy of bathtime

But when I look at the image of Teigen and her kids, I don’t find anything "concerning". I see pure joy, a reflection of myself through a decade-and-a-half of parenting, engaged in one of my favourite activities with the kids: bathtime.

Like Teigen, I’m a mother-of-four. My girls are now 14, 12, nine and seven. Since my parenting life always seems to be in motion – running the kids to school, shepherding them to sports, multitasking work emails with family life – baths have always been a source of serenity for us. A moment of calm, a sacred space. We giggle, play and chat, with zero distractions… not a screen in the room. (Crucial to making bathtime so magical and enjoyable, in my opinion.)

Body positivity and candid conversations

Family bathtimes are about connection – mother-child, but also sibling-sibling. Whether we’ve put on swimsuits and goggles to pretend we’re at a water park or are mesmerised by the colour of the water after running a rainbow glitter LUSH bath bomb through it, baths encourages a state of harmony.

This leads to interesting, candid conversations. It’s almost like my kids turn into the sponges surrounding them, desperate to soak up knowledge about anything and everything. They’ll ask me about body parts, what my pregnancies were like. They’ll point at my crepey tummy and ask why my stomach looks so different from theirs. (Yes, I do happen to think baths are also the perfect opportunity to normalise imperfections and learn there are all kinds of bodies.)

Sisters don’t squabble in the bath the way they seem to everywhere else. The lack of distraction and relaxing nature of our surroundings transports us to a happier space, one where our most educational and honest conversations seem to take place. We might discuss instances that made us feel uncomfortable, or we might chat about consent, and why having a bath with me might be different to getting in the bath with a stranger.

I used to bring all four of my girls into the tub with me, but at one point, my older two decided they had outgrown the ritual. (It’s no accident of course that the timing coincided with early adolescence.)

Now it’s just my seven and nine-year-old in the bath with me, and I never quite know what to expect, what direction the conversation will go in… just that’s something I’ll continue to cherish for as long as they want to do it.

I have nothing to hide by telling the world I still enjoy baths with my kids, but I can’t help wondering if it’s somehow more socially acceptable in the eyes of many to know I bathe with children who happen to be the same gender as me. (Certainly, in Teigen’s case, much of the backlash seems to be related to her decision to let her six-year-old son see her naked.)

Oversharing online?

For some, Teigen’s bath wasn’t the real issue. It was the fact she shared that picture. I’d argue that someone in her situation has kids in the spotlight anyway, and I suspect she wants to be able to control the narrative as much as possible. I would imagine she views strangers sneaking pictures of her kids on their phones while out and about as a more significant violation than sharing a picture she’s pre-approved.

What we post and share online is an individual, ever-changing journey for most parents, who are trying to get to grips with new media as it evolves. (At least, I know I am.) I don't share images of my kids on social media, but I do write articles that can include their pics (with my kids' permission, of course). I can't conceive of ever sharing a photo of us in the bath... but mostly that's because it's the one time of day or week when my phone is nowhere near me – and I'd like to keep it that way.

Teigen is also savvy, and no doubt aware of the influence a picture like this one can have when it comes to positive representation. Many keen-eyed observers were thrilled to see Teigen’s son Miles, who has Type 1 diabetes, wearing an Omnipod insulin pump on his upper arm. An image like this one can serve to inspire countless other kids with diabetes to feel confident rather than anxious about exposing their own pumps.

We’re all just stumbling along as parents, trying to make the best choices we can. I know my parenting is happiest when I do what’s right for me and ignore the haters and I suspect Chrissy Teigen would agree. So excuse me while I go pour in some bubble bath…

Read more about Chrissy Teigen:

• Chrissy Teigen and John Legend thanked for helping to break the silence surrounding baby loss (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)

• Chrissy Teigen opens up about pregnancy anxiety and shares sweet video of daughter helping scan her bump (Yahoo Life UK, 3-min read)

• Chrissy Teigen Says Social Media Should Have a Curfew Following TikTok Ban Drama: 'Life Was Great Before' (People, 3-min read)