16 People Who Had Sex With Their Best Friend Are Sharing The Ways It Impacted Their Relationship, And These Stories Range From Happily Ever After To Heartbreak
There comes a point in many close friendships when two friends start to wonder, "What if?" Maybe one person thinks their BFF could actually be something more? Sometimes, these friends decide to begin a romantic relationship to avoid wondering what might have been. However, this decision will often make or break both the romantic and platonic friendship — depending on how the situation is handled.
So, when Redditor Baker_Street_1999 asked: "People who slept with their best friend, what happened?" Commenters did NOT hold back on sharing the ways sex affected their closest friendships. Here are 16 of the most insightful and emotional responses:
First off, here are a few stories from people whose friendships were irreversibly ruined by sleeping together:
1."I slept with my best friend, and it ruined our friendship. After we had sex, we pretty much forced ourselves into a serious relationship, but what was once a dream of mine turned out to be a nightmare."
"Being best friends does not automatically make you the best significant other ever. Both of us — to this point — never were particularly good at keeping up a good and healthy relationship. Neither of us knew how to work through problems, and our issues got bigger and bigger until we both realized that we were not what each other expected.
We went separate ways after the end of our relationship, and because we saw each other's worst character traits, we walked away and never talked again. You can have the best sex of your life, but if you're unable to be a caring and non-egotistical person, the relationship is destined to fail.
This happened 15 years ago, and sometimes, I still think about her and how we messed up what should have been a match made in heaven. We were both married [to other people] for a couple of years, and we both have children by now, but we still don't talk to each other even if we see each other in the grocery store."
2."It was amazing. Fireworks, man! She and I always had some sexual tension between us; it started out slow, cuddling here and there, feeling each other up, you know how it is. We went all the way one night, and both admitted it was awesome. We had never felt that kind of connection."
"We literally lost ourselves when we had sex. The world stopped. We talked about it regularly; we even said we loved each other.
Then, one day, out of the blue, she brings some dude over and keeps telling him I'm just her best friend. It was about a year later (we were still having sex, mind you) that she came home from work and evicted me from the house. She and the dude she brought over are now married.
No idea what changed; super f*cking weird."
3."We became friends with benefits for a while; he stopped treating me like a friend and started behaving like a f*ck boy. I realized that's what he had been doing to other girls for as long as I knew him, but I was a 'pick-me' and 'one of the guys,' and I thought I deserved different (I wasn't interested in a relationship; I'm talking basic decency stuff)."
"Then I realized it was not about other girls' value or mine; my friend was just an asshole. I put a lot of distance between us (which was easy because we lived in different cities by then).
When I got into my next serious relationship, he casually mentioned us having slept together in front of my new boyfriend (who already knew) just to stir things up. I went full no-contact and haven't spoken to him in 10 years."
4."We were long distance, and it went well at first, but then he couldn’t commit, and he had no goals for himself and kind of gave up on us. All the burden fell on me to visit him so we could be together, and it got to be too much."
"My last straw was when he told me after 2.5 years of us being 'together' (but not officially — because he didn’t want to commit since we were long-distance) that even if I were to move to his city, he would want to date for at least 1 year before he could commit to me and make me his girlfriend.
It made me realize what a waste of time it had been — it was a great friendship, but we were not compatible in any way, shape, or form for a relationship. When I broke it off, he found every reason to hate me, so now he’s blocked me everywhere. It was the worst period of my life. 0/10 would not recommend."
Some BFFs stayed on good terms after sleeping together but drifted apart after the fact:
5."Well, I can't say it was worth it. It felt right then, like maybe we realized our friendship built up to this, but afterward, it felt icky. For a friendship that crosses genders, we knew too much about each other for too long; it felt like we were siblings."
"We decided we weren't meant to pursue that route. We stayed close friends for a few years but drifted apart later for another reason.
I believe if we were in the same city, we would still be best friends. I think we agreed telepathically that it was important that it happened to answer any what-ifs, but just in general, we treat it as a vivid dream. We only talked about it two or three times, and always with jokes. Not even our then-new partners knew it happened or would believe us if I told them."
6."I'm a guy, and one of my best friends back in middle and high school was a girl (let's call her Audrey). We both played basketball and had a fun, competitive friendship involving many one-on-one matches, HORSE, etc. She lived a short bike ride away, so we played ball, ate at each other's houses, were friendly with each other's parents, hung out and watched movies, etc. We each dated other people, and it was cool."
"There was always an undercurrent of attraction, which we were surprisingly mature about, looking back. In 8th grade, we made a pact that we'd see each other as brother and sister, and that was that. We stuck to it, dated other people, and it was cool. She even dated one of my other best friends, which didn't impact our friendship. Everyone was cool.
Toward the end of senior year, I broke up with my longtime girlfriend and was a bit of a wreck. Audrey invited me over to play ball. It was a very hot spring day, and after playing a bit, we went inside to cool off.
Her parents weren't home, and I noticed that she was acting a little bit differently toward me. Up in my face with a lot of playful trash talk, always physically close. She asked if I wanted to watch a movie, which was something we always did in her bedroom so her parents could have some peace in the living room. I said fine, and she already had a movie picked out, one which I'd never heard of: Wild Things. I went into that movie completely clueless about it, and...yeah. It's Wild Things.
She obviously picked that movie for a reason. Right after the first sex scene, she leaned over and kissed me, and then, before I even fully processed what was going on, we were having sex. She seemed happy, and we cuddled like lovers for the rest of the movie.
Predictably, things got a little weird after that. As maturely as we'd handled things before, now neither of us knew what to do, especially since we would be attending college in different states. I knew that I didn't want to have a long-distance girlfriend despite my feelings for Audrey, and I think she felt that way, too. We never hooked up again and didn't hang out much after that. We stayed in touch for a few years, and that was that."—u/wafflesareforever
7."We had always had this sexual tension in high school despite being best friends. We flirted a lot, and we were always touching each other (not sexually). One night, when we were 21, we decided to just go for it."
"The sex wasn't great; the chemistry just wasn't there, and after, we texted and agreed that that was a one-time thing and we were meant just to be friends.
We remain friends to this day, and the one sexual encounter didn't really change much. He and I aren't as close as we used to be, but it's likely because he has kids now (I don't) and lives 500 miles away."
8."We were in our mid-20s and had been friends since we were 14. Both of us were fresh out of sexless relationships — so we were horny and decided to give it a shot...and it was weird."
"We were in a hotel and almost got walked in on by the cleaners. My period showed up early, and I bled everywhere. I cried a bit afterward as I was scared of our friendship ending. He was very kind and comforting, and it ended up being OK.
He got me a job with his company several years later, for which I will be forever grateful as I was very poor back then. We didn't hang out much as our lives moved in different directions.
He moved to another country, got a powerful, well-paying job, married, and had a kid. I have a long-term partner of 9 years. Even though we aren't in touch all the time, now that we're in our mid-40s, he is still someone I could call randomly and vice versa. It has felt exactly the same since we were 14. We are still the same people, and I consider him someone I love very much (platonically). I'm genuinely glad he made it in life!"
There were also some besties who despite no longer being in a romantic relationship, decided to remain friends:
9."We hooked up occasionally for a few years whenever we were both single. We fell in love — well, I was in love with her, anyway. We kept getting close to dating, but there were complications."
"Eventually, she met a great guy who was her perfect match, and when they got married, I performed the ceremony. As I was leaving the wedding, she gave me a big hug, smiled, and said, with tears in her eyes, 'Thanks for marrying me.' She always knows exactly what to say, even more than I do, and I’m usually pretty eloquent.
Obviously, our relationship changed forever the moment she met her husband, but we’re still close and will probably always be."—u/RPMac1979
10."We were both in-between relationships and had a fair amount of sexual tension. We planned a trip to a nearby city and booked a nice hotel for a long five-day weekend. We made plans to hang out just as friends and figured we might hook up at some point on the trip. We both wanted to see if there was anything between us."
"In reality, we only left the room to get food. We bailed on every plan we had previously made and either had sex or slept for 5 days straight. We had a good long chat the morning of checkout after banging one more time about starting a relationship, but we both wanted different things out of it, and we're both at different points in our lives. Maybe if we did the same thing 5-6 years later, it would have worked; who knows?
Afterward, the friendship hardly changed. Our friends didn't notice anything, and I'm not 100% sure they knew about it. A few years later, she moved across the country for a job. We keep up a few times a year via text or social media. We're both married, and she is expecting her second kid."
11."I ended up in a poly relationship with my BFF and her husband for a few years. Eventually, she broke it off with me because we worked better as friends, but I stayed in a relationship with her husband."
"They divorced a few years ago. She's still with her other partners and is about to remarry, and I'm still with her ex. We all still hang out frequently and play Dungeons & Dragons twice a month."—u/SirFuzzButt
12."I slept with my best friend on and off for about a year when we were both single; it was great! He got a girlfriend and ended the sexual aspect; I was super upset and cried about it, not because the sex was so good I would miss it, but because I feared I would lose our friendship in the process."
"Thankfully, I didn't — we're still very close. I'm happy for him, and his girlfriend seems great. I have a serious boyfriend now, too, and they're becoming fast friends; they have a shocking amount of stuff in common, and we have a double date planned soon."
Luckily, these former BFFs got their happily ever after:
13."We slept together for about 10 months while still sleeping with other people. We'd talk about the others we slept with and knew what each other was up to. We had many strong feelings for each other, but it was a complex situation, so we avoided dating. Then I blew him off for another guy, and he realized that it made him too upset to remain friends and all the complications he would have to deal with."
"We've been together for 12 years and married for 7 years. We have two awesome children. He helped me get through nursing school and nurse practitioner school and was there for everything. We still consider each other our best friends and are happily married."
14."We were best friends for almost two years. One night, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had become madly in love with her, and at the risk of damaging our great friendship, I had to tell her. I was 90% sure it would end our friendship, but I had to take the chance."
"To my surprise and utter delight, when I sat her down and told her, 'I’m in love with you,' she said, 'I love you too.'
Then we kissed for the first time, and a few minutes later, we were naked in bed.
We got married a year later. That was almost 10 years ago. There’s nothing like marrying your best friend! Highly recommend."
15."We started as friends, then I proposed we be 'friends with benefits,' although we didn't have sex until I knew I liked her and wanted her in my life."
"We were both virgins, so I wanted my first time to be with someone special. We started acting like a couple. Going on dates, really loving sex, and being loving towards each other. I realized that I was falling in love with her, so we upgraded our relationship, more love was shared, even more time was spent together, and it felt more real. Like I'm holding the hand of the woman that I want to be with forever. Apparently, her hope when I proposed being friends with benefits was that we would become a couple. Anyway, I've been in love with her, and we have been dating for almost 2 years now.
Long story short, shoot your shot."
16.And there was one love story with a few surprising twists:
"It ruined our friendship.
A few years later, we became friends yet again and fell in love again. But I ran in the other direction.
Almost a decade ago, after more than twenty years apart, we randomly stumbled across each other (no social media involved).
We married three months later and have been together ever since."
Have you ever been in a romantic relationship with a friend? What happened? Share your story in the comments! (Or, if you would prefer to stay anonymous, you can fill out this Google Form.)
