"I Wish I Could Go Back And Do This": Older Adults Are Sharing Their Biggest Regrets From Their 20s
In hindsight, we see 20/20. There's no doubt that as we get older, we see things with a whole new sense of clarity and focus we didn't have as "kids." So Redditor bigchungusman12 asked, "What is your biggest regret from your 20s?" Here's what people said (including some regrets from members of the BuzzFeed Community).
1."Instead of putting more money into my 401(k), I enjoyed the extra money every paycheck and blew it on 'nicer' clothing and top-shelf alcohol while my friends drank bottom shelf and wore the same jeans for years. At 43, my best friend’s 401(k) is double mine, and I would give anything to go back and be more responsible."
2."Waiting. I spent my 20s waiting. I waited on family, on friends, on significant others, on finding a significant other, etc. Before I knew it, I was 30. Into my 30s, I stopped waiting. If I want to do something or go somewhere? I go by myself. If we set a date and time, and you back out? I still go, even if it's by myself."
3."Staying at a dead-end job solely because I was too scared to pursue my dream career."
4."Crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for me."
5."Drinking too much alcohol and the blackness it created in my memories…"
6."Wasting my time on relationships instead of working on myself. Former people pleaser here. I wish I could go back and invest in myself instead of other people."
7."Not enjoying being single. Looking back, my social interactions were centered around finding 'the one.' I should have just enjoyed getting to know people."
8."I wish I spent more time taking risks and expecting failure. I was pretty risk averse in my 20s, but looking back, even if I did two years failing and learning and two years at my 20s job (versus four years at my 20s job), I likely would have wound up in around the same place as I am now (likely no worse but also likely better and with more experience of what I do and more importantly do not enjoy)."
9."Low self-esteem and confidence, and the missed opportunities that entailed. It takes time and a mindset change, which can initially be a little uncomfortable. First, stop comparing yourself unfavorably to others and talking yourself down. Most of the time, we are very harsh self-critics and not very fair to ourselves. Learn to recognize when you are having negative thoughts like this, and challenge yourself to reframe them positively."
10."Staying in a committed relationship with someone I didn’t really like for most of my 20s."
11."Not traveling more. Now I have more responsibilities, and it’s harder to just get up and go."
12."Thinking about stuff I wanted to do instead of doing the stuff I was thinking about."
13."Not taking excellent care of my teeth. I've spent enough for two new cars over the years in root canals, crowns, and implants, not to mention all the pain and discomfort before affording all of the work. Brush your teeth. Often. Even though it sucks, you should also floss every day. Go to your semi-annual cleanings. All of these future dental issues can be very easily avoided."
14."Choosing the wrong education. I was told in high school to 'pick a class you like.' I liked my economics class at the time. If you have kids, please spend some time helping them choose because asking a high school student to pick what they want to do with their life with no guidance is a terrible idea."
15."Not taking my intellect seriously. I wish that I had been willing to work harder in school. A satisfying career takes attention to learning and focus. The payoff (not necessarily just financially) but also in self-esteem and enjoyment is tremendous."
16."Not being careful with my credit. I got my first credit card at 18 and went absolutely nuts with it. It’s taken me years to climb up to decent credit and even more years to get to excellent credit."
17."Not enjoying it more. I didn't realize how fast my younger years would pass."
18."Thinking about fertility! No matter what we'd like to think, not every woman is going to have superb fertility until she's 35–40 and just pop out a couple of kids easily when she chooses to. I'm still in my twenties and have an egg count of someone 5 years older, and I am currently struggling to get pregnant again..."
"...It isn't a huge deal yet because I am still young, and we are seeking fertility treatment now. I had my first at 25, and I have no regrets because if I had waited until I was 32–34, like a lot of my peers, I might not have had any eggs anymore at all... If you are at all thinking of having kids one day, please get at least a fertility check-up just to make sure everything is ok and be able to plan accordingly if so is your wish. Any by this way, this isn't AT ALL judging those who have children later or not at all, it's really just a message for those who wish to have kids one day."
19."It seems so cliché, but I did not wear enough sunscreen. I used to do the whole 'lay out with baby oil' so I could get a 'savage' tan. How stupid. Now, my face looks like a topographic map of California. Wear sunscreen, kids!"
What is a regret you have from earlier in life or a lesson you wish you could go back and tell your younger self? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
