Women Are Sharing The Things That Have Made Them Feel Safer In Public, And I'm Writing These Down ASAP
Although I hate that women have to constantly live in a fight-or-flight mode, it's important to always stay prepared for anything that may happen. I recently asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the precautions they take to stay safe and they had some great advice. Here are some of their tips:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1."I practice awareness wherever I go — paying attention to sounds, surroundings, people, locations, etc. Sounds simple, but harder to do if you don't consciously practice. I had a stalker a few years ago, so I learned then to be on high alert wherever I go. If I'm in a new place, I also pretend like I know where I'm going because people will notice if you seem lost (if you're constantly looking at your phone for directions, that's noticeable). Have a landmark you can remember so you can get back there if you do get lost."
2."I am 48 and live alone. I have a dog. I have knives stashed in different areas of my house, like the tops of closets and behind books. I have a metal T-ball bat behind each door. Doggy gates with auto closures at each door. Locks on each door and cameras and solar motion lights. When I leave my house, my daughter has phone tracking. I often text my daughter to let her know where I am going when I leave, or I just call her and talk to her while driving if we are both off. If we leave our city to go to a bigger city like Dallas, we can go together, or she can go with a friend. On the rare occasion she goes alone to Dallas, she calls me when she exits her car, and I stay on the phone with her until she reaches her building. I do the same when leaving. She also has a friend group that has her phone location."
3."I have carried a sharp pocket knife since I was 10. Stab someone? You bet. Cut off hand ties or a seatbelt. Most likely. Just makes me feel less vulnerable."
4."When on a hiking trail alone, I always stay close behind a group of other hikers. If possible, I also engage in conversation with them so they’re aware of my presence. In this way, I’m not really alone."
5."I always make myself appear large. I am 5'10", which helps, but I take up as much space as possible. Shoulders and head held high, feet apart, hips forward. No hunching. Appearing small and defenseless attracts predators, and using the method of some prey animals by appearing much larger comes off as powerful and intimidating. Also, practice makes perfect. I highly recommend looking up the TED talk on power poses because it makes a huge difference, I promise. Practice making yourself bigger in private, then keep practicing everywhere, such as the grocery store, the gym, etc. It can make a huge difference, and people feel threatened by that."
6."I don't make eye contact or smile at anyone who isn't another woman or a child. I keep an RBF in public. That way, you won't have a guy approaching you, mistaking your friendly smile as hitting on them. We all grew up being told to be friendly and smile at everyone we see (at least in the Bible Belt of Ohio, where I grew up). Growing up, I learned that is complete BS. No random dude deserves my smile unless they've earned it."
7."My mom lives alone and still has a landline, and at first, I thought it was weird that she had my brother record the voicemail message. But now I see how smart she is."
8."I have friends in several different states that still follow my location. I always let them know when going on a first date or meeting and that I’ll check in with them the next day. Also, I always have a lock-in sock, a mini can of hair spray, and a lighter within arm's reach."
9."I take self-defense classes. Their number one tip is to always be aware of your surroundings. We get so complacent on our phones or listening to music that we sometimes don't scan for threats. In the words of Auror Moody, 'constant vigilance!'"
10."I make eye contact. I never hesitate to turn around and look directly at someone who may be following me. Years ago, I fended off a mugging by doing this."
11."I carry a sock full of D batteries in case I need to defend myself."
12."There’s a lot of tips women can share. Being aware of your surroundings is a big one. But a simple little tip is to lock the car door as soon as you get in. If the passenger and/or the driver get out? Lock the doors."
13."If I walk into a store, I scan for everyone obviously carrying and then look for the ones I suspect could be. Those are the people I don’t want to be around long because I don’t trust their little hero shenanigans should shit hit the fan. I noted some dude with a huge hunting knife on his belt (absolutely not needed in Target) one day, and when I mentioned it to someone, my husband was like, didn’t even notice."
14."Being an attractive woman in the city of Las Vegas, I always carry a loaded firearm everywhere I go. I also have a habit of always watching my environment, and because I’m a natural intuitive, I 'feel' the vibes and intentions of other people around me. Never counting money in public, locking the vehicle door upon entry, and making eye contact with everyone outside of a building."
15."My go-to safety tip when out in public is I always make sure my hair is down. I learned this from a police officer who said wearing your hair up, especially in a ponytail, makes you an easier target because it’s something to grab and pull you. Also, I make sure I’m never distracted and always aware of my surroundings. I don’t go out when it’s dark. As women, it’s not safe to just sit in our cars. It’s important to drive away immediately. Also, if a creepy van parks next to you, get into the side of your car that is opposite the van. Please stay safe, ladies."
—Anonymous
16."I literally never wear both earbuds when out and about and never wear big headphones. I was advised to do this when I moved to a big city (from the suburbs) after college to maintain a better awareness of my surroundings, and I've retained the habit of only putting in one earbud ever since. Even if I'm just walking around the neighborhood, it makes me feel safer to have one ear free while the other enjoys my podcast."
—Melody, 30
Do you have a safety tip to share? If so, share it with me in the comments below!
