Could parental pre-nups be on the rise? [Photo: unsplash.com via Pexels]
There may never be a perfect time to have a child. And when Leah Hunter found out she was pregnant at 33, it certainly wasn’t the ideal situation. She wasn’t in a relationship with her daughter’s father and Leah was concerned what parenting a child together, while not romantically involved, might look like.
Fast forward six years and Leah says her parenting situation couldn’t have turned out better. And she puts that down to creating a parenting pre-nup.
In an article for The Guardian, Leah explained that she and the father of her daughter, Cecelia, spent four and a half months drawing up a 16-page legal and philosophical agreement about how to raise their daughter together.
According to Leah, the pre-nup enabled her and Cecilia’s dad to have “the best of both worlds” when it comes to co-parenting.
“[The] document outlines custody and residential schedule, and also covers every other aspect of parenting and our daughter’s life: education, joint parenting decisions, travel, communication, living abroad,” she wrote in The Guardian.
“We outline how we share a calendar of events and make rules.” This includes financial agreements such as babysitting fees, school fees, custody arrangements, decisions about breastfeeding, sugar consumption, and even provisions for special days like religious festivals and Mother’s day.
Leah says the parenting pre-nup has enabled her to co-parent successfully [Photo: negativespace.co via Pexels]
According to Leah, by working these things through early they were able to avoid points of parenting conflict before they came up. And though they are able to loosen some of the details if they find it isn’t working out, they both think that creating the pre-nup has been the best step in creating a safe and secure environment for their daughter to grow up in.
“Six and a half years later, I can honestly say that I love and admire Cecilia’s dad,” Leah ends her post. “Co-parenting is wonderful. When my daughter is with me, I give her dedicated time and attention. When she is with her dad, I trust that she’s taken care of and go off to happily work and play. I have the best of all worlds. And the most important part: Cecilia does too. She is cared for and respected in an atmosphere of peace and calm, by parents who create that for each other.”
Drawing up a parental pre-nup may seem like an extreme measure, particularly when you’re in the exciting first flush of pregnancy. But putting some thought into how you might deal with things should you find yourselves in the muddy co-parenting waters, has to be a sensible idea.
Maybe we should all be adding pre-nup to our parents-to-be checklist?
Would you consider drawing up a parenting pre-nup? Let us know @YahooStyleUK