Woman Says She Was 'Villainized' for Not Taking Her Ex to the ER — Even Though He Dumped Her Months Ago
The woman — who detailed the incident on Reddit — says her ex-boyfriend is accusing her of putting her work above his needs
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Hospital room (stock image)A woman says she didn’t go with her ex-boyfriend to the hospital after a scooter accident, and he’s now calling her “selfish.”
The woman, 31, detailed the situation on Reddit’s ‘Am I the A------’ forum on Feb. 3. She explained that her ex-boyfriend, “Aiden,” moved across the country to live with her in November 2024, but “he ended up dumping me on Christmas Eve.”
She goes on to share that even though things have been “really rough since then,” she’s continued to let Aiden, 26, live with her until he’s able to move into his own place — “with March 1 being the official move out date.” She also noted that she’s been letting Aiden borrow her electric scooter recently so that he can commute to a new job.
The Redditor says that the current issues began when Aiden ran a red light while on the scooter and got hit by a car, suffering seemingly minor injuries.
She says that she sat outside their home and waited for Aiden after the accident, helped him inside and “patched him up with the first aid kit.” However, she said it soon became clear that he might have a broken arm, at which point she “urged him to go to the ER” and ”gave him some pain medicine and money for an Uber.”
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“Here’s where I might be the a------," she continued.
“He asked me if I would go with him [to the ER] and I said I couldn’t because I had a couple hours of extremely important work to do that night,” she explained, adding that Aiden seemed to be okay with going on his own.
This, however, is where things began to go south.
The woman says that her ex “started blowing my phone up with calls and aggressive texts,” adding that “it was so disruptive I had to step away [from work] and when he finally answered the phone he went off about how he needed me and I wasn’t there, how serious his condition was and [that he] wants me to come bring him stuff for the ‘long’ hospital stay.”
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The original poster (OP) — who says she is currently paying her ex’s portion of the rent as he was recently out of work — says she was so shaken that she ultimately had to step away from work for the day.
She went on to share that she ultimately went to the hospital to bring Aiden his requested personal items and “de-escalate” the situation — at which point she found out he had greatly exaggerated his condition and would not, in fact, need to stay overnight.
“I was really disgusted and only stayed for about 10 [minutes] or so before I went back home to mend my work stuff,” she explained.
The situation only got worse from there.
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Couple arguing (stock image)“An hour later he comes home and screams at me about how selfish I am for not going with him and putting my job ahead of his needs. Completely ignoring everything I did do to help within my power and the fact I had to cancel work for him,” the OP wrote.
She says Aiden “villainized” her for not accompanying him to the hospital and claimed she should have known he needed her support at that moment without having to ask for it.
“So AITA [am I the a------]?” she concludes her post.
The post received over 1,300 upvotes in a matter of hours, and Reddit users were quick to assure the OP that she should not feel guilty about her actions.
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“He broke up with you. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be there and hold his hand while he is in the hospital because of his own stupidity. You’re already nice enough to patch him up and give him money for an Uber when he hasn’t contributed s---,” wrote on Redditor.
Another person agreed that the OP is not the one in the wrong — but did say that she does have a role to play in a toxic dynamic.
“He's your ex. Why on earth would you go to the hospital for him? You left work to indulge his toxicity instead of blocking his number and getting back to work. You were irresponsible in doing that, but didn't have bad intentions, so not an AH [a------]. He is for thinking you owe him a single thing after breaking up,” a commenter said.
“NTA,” wrote another, adding, “Except to yourself for letting your AH ex live with you, for free, for months.”
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