Her marital dilemma is outlined in a thread entitled: “WIBTA [Would I Be The Asshole] for divorcing husband over his past sperm donation”.
The user, who goes by the username ‘fedupwife1234’ on the platform, explains she knew about her husband’s sperm donor past when the pair first began dating – and at the time said she “didn’t care”.
“At the time, I literally said I ‘didn’t care’ about his sperm donation and ‘didn’t want to know’, so I can’t blame him for not telling me how many,” she explains. “I literally told him not to.”
However, her attitude changed after finding out exactly how many children were involved: “He tells me the fertility centres last updated him at 47 kids.”
“I can’t stop thinking about all the problems this will cause when we’re older,” she writes. “WIBTA for divorcing him for something that he was very upfront about?!?!”
By way of explanation, she adds in an edit: “All the kids are legally entitled to his contact details when they turn 18.”
Some people sympathised with the poster’s concerns, and tried to reassure her that the situation was unlikely to cause many problems further down the line.
One user wrote: “You make a good point. I could see not liking the idea of 47 people potentially inserting themselves into my life. I think it would be wise for OP [Original Poster] to look into any sort of precedence for this kind of thing. I’m sure there are other people who have gone through this sort of thing.”
Another added: “I can imagine that must have been a huge “holy shit” moment. But I don’t think you should divorce him over this and I don’t think you are in for a lot of problems 18 years down the line from his sperm donations.”
However, few backed the poster’s wish for a divorce – pointing out her husband has been honest through the process.
One person said, “He didn’t even keep this from her! YTA [You’re The Asshole],” while another added questioned her real motives: “INFO: what’s the real reason you want out OP?.”
Another comment read: “YTA, you knew he donated. You’re a grade A asshole if you throw away an 8 year marriage to the father of your child just because that number was higher than expected.”
One person even pointed out her husband must be a catch to have been picked as a donor so many times, writing: “Your husband was chosen by over 50 women as a donor… I would say you’re pretty lucky to have him.”
Sperm donation law in the UK
While it is not clear where this Reddit user is from, UK law prohibits sperm donors from donating anonymously.
“A change in the law in 2005 means that anyone conceived with the help of a donor can ask for their donor’s name, date of birth and last known address when they turn 18,” explains the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) website.
UK sperm donors aren’t paid for their contributions, but they are entitled to receive up to £35 per clinic visit to cover expenses. According to HFEA, it’s illegal to pay sperm donors more than their reasonable expenses.