Why is everyone so pressed about Chelsea Handler’s 'childless woman' video?
This morning a friend shared a video that recently went viral into our group chat. It's a sketch from comedian Chelsea Handler about what it's like to be a woman who has chosen not to have children, poking fun at the fact that she has so much free time due to being sans child that not only can she sleep in until 12pm, but she also has time to work out, visit Paris (just for the day, of course) and invent time travel. The sarcasm is delicious. It is funny and inoffensive. Or so I thought.
After scrolling down the thread, I realised a large chunk of the comments are full of rage – mostly from people appearing not to get the tongue-in-cheekness of it all, and who have instead interpreted the sketch as a personal attack on their own choice to have a child. Something that single, or non child-rearing women, have had to deal with batting off awkward questions about since, well, forever?
One broadcaster wrote in response to the video, "I wouldn't trade my beautiful, sweet daughter for all the 'self love' in the world because you know what? 'Self love' is just materialism & self-idolatry. It's nothing. It's empty. It's vapor in the wind. But the tiny precious soul I'm shepherding? That's eternal. It's real love." I mean, okay. Happy for you? (As are, it would seem, the 3,000 odd people who liked the tweet)
Another added, "Yes, you're really living your best life, aren't you. Just to be clear, because it apparently needs to be said by parents, I wouldn't trade 10,000 of your supposedly carefree childless days in Paris and sleeping in until noon for one smile from my baby girl." (Again, this amassed over 3,000 likes in response)
Just another day. pic.twitter.com/Bf4cdBqunG
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) February 10, 2023
Others added things like "You can't hide your misery" and "This is extremely sad"... and honestly, it's all just a little bit baffling? Why is a woman choosing to find joy in making the right decision for herself and forgoing procreating 'extremely sad'? What's sad, quite honestly, is those who can't see that.
It's one thing to not find the video funny, shrug and keep scrolling/carry on with your day, but the pure outrage it has sparked is perhaps the biggest joke of all here – and points to another big question: why isn't it okay to make jokes about, or even revel in the idea of, being a child-free woman? Why can't Chelsea say in a one-minute-long video that she *whisper it now* likes her life and the fact that she has more time to spend on herself? It's not selfish, it's a responsible choice. And the comments here clearly show that sadly, in the year 2023, we're still not at the stage where equal choice is accepted or respected.
The overly-defensive remarks in response to the video also highlight another issue we're dealing with as a collective who spend large amounts time on social media: not everything is about us. I guarantee if I posted a tweet saying I love cats, the 'but what about dogs?' brigade would respond within minutes (this is a weak example, but you hear what I'm saying, right?). One person's experiences or choices don't always have to exist in tandem with, or overshadow, your own. They can be entirely unrelated.
Without sounding like the crying girl from Mean Girls, why can't we all just get along? Who even has the energy to start online beef over someone else's life that has nothing to do with their own? C'est tragique.
Another tweet in response to the Chelsea Handler clip has filled me with hope though: "I loved this video and then I saw all the defensive reactions below from people who can't stand the idea that parenting is optional and I loved it even more". Same, my friend, same.
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