Why Davina McCall believes her brain tumour could be the 'greatest blessing of her life' in first interview since surgery
Davina McCall has given her first official interview since her brain tumor diagnosis and surgery. The presenter, campaigner and former Women's Health cover star had a benign brain tumour called a colloid cyst, and underwent treatment in November.
Now, talking to Steven Bartlett in a special episode of her podcast, Begin Again (out Thursday 6 Feb at 8am), McCall has said her experience has 'not changed me forever, but I've learned things about myself that I would never have learned without this operation or [...] without the cyst. I'm pretty sure in two years' time, I will see it as one of the greatest blessings of my life.'
McCall is known for her live Instagram workouts, menopause campaigning and collaboration with personalised nutrition app Zoe, making her a fitness and food guru among fans.
She began the episode admitting that, 'In my head, I was literally the healthiest person in the world [...] And I had this head-to-toe scan. And they came back and they went, "Okay, we've got your results. Um... we'd like to talk to you."
'And they said, "You've got a benign cyst in your brain." He explained that it's called a colloid cyst. And a colloid cyst is a three in a million thing, and it can also cause [...] very, very rarely, but it can also cause sudden death.'
Upon being asked whether she felt pressure to remain strong for her loved ones when receiving the diagnosis, McCall said: 'I don't want limp necks. [...] I don't want pity. Because a lot of people have said to me since, "When you told me, I thought you could die." And I thought, "I don't want people looking at me like I could die. I'm dealing with that myself." Like, I just want positivity,' she explained.
In traditional Davina style, she had a frank outlook on her diagnosis from the get-go. 'I honestly, seriously believe wholeheartedly that somewhere in my genetic makeup, this was in my stars from birth, in my brain at birth,' she said. 'I know that I look after myself, and yes, it is bad luck. But [...] I think it is just genetics. And that's a lottery, yeah? Isn't it so mad?
'I get what I'm given. And I mean, I've got to say, I never once thought with this, "Oh, that's so unfair." It's quite interesting that I just thought, "I'm robust. I can get through it. I'm going to do this." You know, I was just like, "I'm going to positive my way out of this."'
But that didn't stop her from having some fun with it, as she's known to do. Davina called her tumour Jeffrey and celebrated its existence and removal with friends. 'I'm really sorry to any Jeffs that are watching or listening, but I needed to name it something,' she said. 'It seemed like a good name to call him. And we had a Jeffrey happy birthday party with friends.
'Michael [Douglas, her partner] played the piano and sang some songs and sort of did speeches. [...] It was fun. And everybody was like, "This is the weirdest kind of gathering I've ever been to. This is so mad." But it felt like an appropriate thing to do. I don't want the heaviness. I don't... that's who I am. [...] I don't want to carry a burden of other people's worry about me.'
The conversation turned more serious when Steven asked about any conversations she had with her family about the potential outcome that she might die.
'I said, "Look, I've got to plan for it if it doesn't go according to plan." When I'd spoken to the doctors, they talked about things like stroke, epilepsy, these being risks. Nicking an artery or a blood vessel in the brain and having a bleed […] there were a lot of things that could be a risk.
'So yes, we had that talk quite soon. And I did go and address my will and make sure that was airtight. I talked to Michael about my wishes. I wrote letters of wishes to all the children and put those in my will,' explained Davina.
She also shared an emotional tribute to Michael, saying: 'He holds space for me to feel my feelings, even if they really freak him out or they frighten him. He is not codependent in any way. It's so nice. He's taught me so much around that [...] If I was crying, he'd sit next to me, but he wouldn't touch me or hug me. He would go, "Feel it." And I would let it out. And then at the end, he'd give me an enormous hug.'
The worst part about the tumour, she says, was that she lost a sense of control over her health and her body. 'I felt like this thing had taken control of me and I was so angry about that. I couldn't let it go. Like, "How dare you control my daily life like this and make me feel every day like I'm in danger."
'I have had so many people say to me, "Well, at least it was benign." And you think, "You have no idea that benign brain tumours can still kill you." It's just you don't know when it's going to happen. It could happen tomorrow, it could happen in years' time. It's different to cancer, but it is also awful. A benign does not mean fine. Living with that uncertainty is pretty terrifying.'
Looking forward to the future, Davina wants to focus on her happiness and health. 'I am healthy. I look after myself. I exercise. I've got all of these things going for me, but stress is a killer. And I want to de-stress my life. I do not want to live with the stress of thinking any minute, you know, I could be taken out by something.
'Oh my God, [I feel] grateful. [...] I feel like life's never going to be the same again, but in rather a good way.'
And her advice for everyone else, even those not dealing with a health scare?
'Write your bucket list now. When I did one with my sister, Caroline, we wrote a really sweet, lovely bucket list. She died before she could do any of it. Why are we doing bucket lists when we're dying? Write the bucket list now, in your thirties, and go, "What is my bucket list? Like, what do I want to do before I die? And let's start doing it now."'
Brand new episodes of Begin Again drop Thursdays at 8am GMT wherever you get your podcasts.
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