What is 'lemonading'? Why playful people are better at coping with life's challenges, according to a new study.
When things get tough, are you focusing on the storm clouds or are you able to dance in the proverbial rain? According to a new study, those who take the more playful approach are better at finding creative solutions to cope and deal with adversity. But even if your immediate reaction isn’t to make lemonade from life’s lemons, experts say becoming more playful and better at “lemonading” is a skill you can work on.
Here’s what the study found
In February 2021, researchers surveyed 503 U.S. adults and asked them about their experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic — including social support, their perceptions of infection risk, whether they thought things would get better and their emotional and behavioral responses. They also asked participants to rate their own playfulness based on spontaneity, how inhibited they felt in general and how motivated they were to seek out fun. Researchers then compared the most playful participants with the least playful participants to see how their pandemic experiences differed.
They found that the more playful participants were more optimistic about the future and life returning to normal yet still realistic about COVID-19 risks and the effectiveness of protective measures. While both groups reported feeling vulnerable and isolated during the pandemic, the more playful participants “took more creative, active steps to cope.”
Xiangyou “Sharon” Shen, one of the study authors and a social scientist at Oregon State University, tells Yahoo Life that playful qualities likely serve as a “psychological tool kit,” enabling playful people to cope better by redirecting their thoughts and actions toward creative solutions.
“Picture that colleague who can find moments of enjoyment even during mundane office tasks, or your friend who sees a delayed flight as an opportunity for people-watching theater. That's what we mean by a playful person,” Shen says.
Shen explains that “playful people” are also inherently good at what she and her colleagues call “lemonading” — their term for how playful people handle challenging situations, which draws on the familiar phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
“Remember, this isn't about ignoring problems,” Shen says. “Our research shows playful people are actually quite realistic about challenges. It's about developing the capacity to spot and create opportunities for positive experiences — even when life hands you a whole crate of lemons.”
Here’s how to build your playfulness and ‘lemonading’ skills
If “lemonading” and playfulness don’t feel like they come naturally to you, don’t despair. Experts say they are skills that you can build with practice.
Enjoy the process. “Engage in the moment so that the process is its own reward — that is what play is all about,” Dr. David Spiegel, director of the Stanford Center on Stress and Health, tells Yahoo Life. “Engage with the people around you and appreciate them. Be interactional, not transactional.” Shen says this also means giving yourself permission to “enjoy the scenic route” — both literally and figuratively. So next time you find yourself stuck at the DMV or in a waiting room, view that downtime as an opportunity to enjoy a good book; or when you’re settling up with the cashier at the coffee shop, see it as an excuse to have a chat with someone new. “Those seemingly random detours are actually building your creativity reserve for future challenges,” she says.
Make fun a priority. At the end of the day, ask yourself, “What moments did I have fun?” instead of “How productive was I?” Shen says this reframe can shift your attention toward quality experiences. “Start small,” she says. “Turn one mundane task into a mini-adventure each day.” Try turning your next grocery store trip into a Supermarket Sweep-style challenge with your spouse; or play “I Spy” during a long car ride.
Try “thought replacement.” Chloe Carmichael, a clinical psychologist and author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, suggests trying to trade negative thoughts for more optimistic or constructive ones — a concept known as thought replacement. “Many people exhibit what psychologists call ‘defensive pessimism,’ which is when we deliberately focus on potential negative outcomes as a way to guard against sudden disappointment,” she says. “If you have a pessimistic mindset, challenge your negative internal monologue to find at least one or two people or things currently or recently around you that are beautiful, interesting or make you feel grateful.”
Invite others to be more playful too. Telling people in your life that you want to be more playful can feel a bit silly — which might, ironically, evoke a playful moment, Carmichael says. “Once people know this, they might feel more comfortable inviting you to see their playful side too.” And getting social support around playfulness has a twofold effect: Playfulness is often enhanced with a buddy, and humor can deepen relationships.
