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Feeling 'too tired' tops list of reasons Brits don't have sex

Some 45% of Brits say exhaustion stops them from getting intimate.

Couple about to have sex in bed
Most Brits say being tired is the main reason why they don't have sex. (Getty Images)

Being 'too tired' is the most common reason why Brits don’t have sex, a new study has revealed.

A survey of 2,000 adults found that 45% of Brits list exhaustion as the top reason for their lack of intimacy, followed by 'life being too stressful' (29%), libidos changing over time (28%), different sex drives (20%) and simply low or no intimacy (19%).

Top 10 reasons Brits don’t have sex

  1. Feeling too tired - 45%

  2. Life being too stressful - 29%

  3. Libidos have changed over time - 28%

  4. Different sex drives - 20%

  5. Low or no intimacy - 19%

  6. Work being stressful - 19%

  7. Sex isn’t a priority - 19%

  8. Arguments within the relationships - 19%

  9. Having children - 18%

  10. Personal insecurities - 16%

man and woman having sex in bed
An expert says sex should be nourished during your lifetime. (Getty Images)

Why sex is important

"Sex is a platform of communication and connection and helps to build up intimacy with a partner," Elisabeth Neumann, head of user research at Lovehoney, who commissioned the study, says.

"While not all people desire to have sex in their relationships, which is totally valid, those who do wish for an active sex life should nourish it during their lifetime."

Neumann adds that sex can be an important tool to reconnect with a partner and build a stronger foundation for a relationship.

"It also contributes to personal well-being and mental health," she continues. "Regular sexual activity has a positive impact on our health – it boosts the immune system, life satisfaction, and prevents cardiovascular diseases.

"That being said, sex is only important for relationships if both partners have a desire for sex. Especially in long-term relationships, at some point there is a disbalance of libido and sexual desire. Partners should communicate openly about their desires, wishes and boundaries, to build up empathy for each other's needs."

This chart highlights how much sex Brits are having at different ages. (YouGov)
This chart highlights how much sex Brits are having at different ages. (YouGov)

How to keep your sex life exciting

Below, Neumann has revealed her top five tips for keeping your sex life healthy and exciting:

1. Schedule sex

While it may not sound sexy, scheduling sex could do wonder for your intimacy levels with your partner.

"In long-term relationships, the tasks and responsibilities of everyday life may take over. It may feel weird in the beginning, but try to schedule intimacy time in your calendars, just as you schedule hobbies or friends," Neumann suggests.

Read more: Half of men (and almost as many women) schedule sex, as survey shows spontaneity is over - Yahoo Life UK, 3-min read

"Making time for each other (consider even shutting your phones off) is a useful trick to bring back the excitement. Change the expectation that scheduled intimacy time needs to lead to penetration and you have the perfect setting to explore each other without pressure."

2. Give yourself a self-esteem boost

If the reason you’re not feeling up to sex is because you’re lacking self-confidence in how you look, Neumann suggests treating yourself to something - like new lingerie or asking your partner for a nude pic - that will make you feel sexy.

"The self-esteem boost will increase the excitement and adventure in your relationship," she adds.

Cardiff has been named the city with residents most likely to be in a sexual rut. (Getty Images)
Cardiff has been named the city with residents most likely to be in a sexual rut. (Getty Images)

3. Try something new

Perhaps you’re tired of sex feeling like the same old routine, which is why it could be time to try something new.

"Many educational workshops for couples are available today, both online and offline. You can try beginners' classes for almost anything: Tantra, sensual massage, kink…," Neumann explains.

"If you feel shy, an online workshop might be a good start – but you could also consider going to a venue to meet new people."

4. Use sex toys

One way to make your sex life more exciting is to introduce sex toys - either to use in the bedroom or even to use in public.

Neumann suggests the c-shaped We-Vibe that can be worn discreetly and controlled hands free by your partner.

Read more: 5 best-selling sex toys for women (Yahoo Life UK, 2-min read)

5. Be vulnerable

Being intimate with someone is so much more than just sex, it’s about being your whole and true self with the other person.

"Research shows that the more secure we feel with a partner, the more the eroticism declines in a partnership," Neumann says. "Find activities with your partner that allow both of you to be vulnerable, and to share emotions or sides of you that your partner might not have seen before."