Half of men (and almost as many women) schedule sex, as survey shows spontaneity is over

It may seem unromantic, but scheduling sex comes with some real benefits say relationship experts.

Man and women tangled in bed with arms up during scheduled sex
Men are more likely than women to schedule sex, a new study has found. (Getty Images)

Life is busy, but is it ever so busy that we need to schedule in sex? Apparently so, according to a new survey that found as many as two in five people plan sex with their partner regularly.

Men are more likely to specify a set time for sex than women, with nearly half of men (49%) admitting that they like to plan when they get intimate compared to 38% of women.

A further 38% of the Lovehoney survey respondents said that while they don’t currently schedule sex, it’s an idea they are open to – and an expert has said it could be a beneficial practice for parents of young children or couples who work long hours.

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Scheduled sex benefits

"Scheduling sex can be great for people who struggle with spontaneous libido. If sex is scheduled, it can give them and their partner something to build up to, to expect, and prepare for," male sex coach Cam Fraser says.

"Additionally, scheduling sex may lead to more sexual excitement because you’re able to leverage the sense of anticipation and begin foreplay long before you get to the time that sex is scheduled in your calendar."

Other benefits, according to Fraser, include demonstrating a commitment to your relationship, improving communication and guaranteeing quality time with your partner.

people having sex
Scheduled sex could work wonders for people who lead busy lives. (Getty Images)

The data, collected from 1,000 people, also found that most people like to have sex at night, with just one in 10 preferring early morning sex.

Nearly two thirds (61%) of respondents said late at night was their favourite time to get jiggy, while 14% said early evening and 10% said early morning. Noon was the least favoured time with just 2% of respondents saying they like a midday romp.

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"Really, the 'ideal' time of the day to have sex is when you and your partner feel like it is," Turner says. "Find your own 'ideal'."

Planned sex may be the key to a successful relationship

This data comes just months after York University published two studies in the Journal of Sex Research that found that planned sex could be just as satisfying as unplanned sex.

“When we suggest that couples or other romantic configurations carve out that time, we’re not necessarily saying you put it into a calendar – like 7PM on a Tuesday, after putting dinner in the oven and before folding the socks,” psychology professor and study author Amy Muise said.

“But the intentionality behind it can be transformative in the sense that we don’t wait around for the right moment, because sometimes the mood just never strikes, really, for some people, and that might deter them.”

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How often do Brits have sex?

While it could be beneficial to plan when you have sex, how often are most people getting intimate?

A 2020 survey from YouGov found that most sexually active Brits have sex once per week on average, ranging from 1.8 times per week for those aged 18 to 19, down to 0.7 times a week for those aged 70 to 74.

The YouGov survey found that people who are sexually active have sex an average of once per week. (YouGov)
The YouGov survey found that people who are sexually active have sex an average of once per week. (YouGov)

Further findings showed that people in their late 20s (43%) are the most likely to have sex in any given week, a number which begins to drop to 38% for people aged 35 to 39. A fifth of people aged 40 to 44 said they don't have sex at all.