"As A Parent, This Has Gotten Out Of Hand": People Are Sharing Popular Parenting Trends They Completely Disagree With

Before I became a parent, I had never realized that there were so many theories about childraising. Is it OK to let my baby cry it out, or will I damage her emotionally for the rest of her life? Should I start with purées or go straight to baby-led weaning? And like all things in life, parenting trends come and go in popularity.

So I gathered responses from the BuzzFeed Community about parenting trends that they strongly disagree with. Here's what they said.

1."Parents never let their children be bored. When my daughter complained about boredom, I gave her some chores. She learned to embrace boredom, which is not entirely a bad thing."

2."Making parenting about you. My sister has two sons who are both incredibly spoiled and entitled because she 'can’t bear' to see them thwarted or unhappy. Because of this, her kids are extremely self-absorbed."

—Anonymous

3."Parents giving their kids melatonin to help them sleep. As someone with chronic insomnia, I wish it was as easy as it used to be to fall asleep. But once you get used to 'I have to take XYZ to fall asleep,' it's tough to break that habit. My mom used to give me a spoon of vinegar when I didn't feel well as a way to avoid actual medication, but because of this, I learned that when something is wrong, you take something to fix it. It's a damaging pattern to develop early, not to mention there are countless studies about adults becoming reliant on melatonin to the point they need it to sleep every night. I have a lot of respect for parents and know it's exhausting, but in the long term, this is not a good solution."

4."I hear parents threaten their child to behave a certain way. 'I'll take your presents back!' or 'We won't come here ever again!'. My neighbor knocked on the door recently with her preschooler. He needed to surrender a bag of candy to us because he hadn't eaten dinner. Wait, wait, wait. Does your boss take away your paycheck when you make a mistake?..."

"...Are we teaching our children to hit when angry or frustrated? Do you ever dislike a meal or do not feel like eating? First, let's decide on family rules and consequences that are reasonable ... ahead of time. Teach your child the rules, the reason for the rule, and what will happen if you follow or do not. As adults, we know the speed limit. We know we might get a ticket, and the rule is to keep us safe. Children behave well when they understand."

—Anonymous

5."Telling your kids they can be literally anything. They can go to an Ivy League university! They can be a movie star! An NFL quarterback! The president! All you have to do is dream big! The trouble is that many talented people don't do those things because of bad luck, not wanting the stress, or simply because there are few professional football players. Teaching your kids to work hard and develop their talents is great. But telling them they can do anything if they just want it bad enough sets them up for a big disappointment when they don't become an Olympic gold medalist/billionaire/astronaut."

6."It drives me nuts how parents and society rely more and more on the schools to do the parenting. Parenting should involve conversations around bullying, mental health, basic manners, and sexuality. It shouldn't be the school's job to teach your kid to say please and thank you because you, as the parent, are so afraid of making your child sad."

—Anonymous

7."I read an article once where a woman said, 'I didn't help my kids if it was something they could do on their own.' It kind of stuck with me. My parents weren't perfect, but they did this, too, and I became a more prepared adult because of it. So, I do the same with my daughter. If she falls, I let her pick herself back up. I only intervene if she isn't safe or truly stuck. Otherwise, she's good at problem-solving and figuring stuff out."

8."I hate the trend of parents using tracking apps to log baby sleep and feeding. Sure, babies develop routines, and it's helpful to be aware and work with these rhythms, but I've seen parents reverently defer to these apps instead of their instincts or even their baby. If the baby is smiley, happy, and content, but the app says they're overdue for eating/sleep, there's no need to get stressed! There is no need to try forcing a baby to eat/sleep. These apps are maladaptive parenting aids that undermine parental instincts and attunement between parent and child."

—Andrea, 41

9."I think family vlogging should be illegal. Profiting off your children 's lives is disgusting. Your child shouldn't have to spend their entire lives worried about a camera in their face when they're trying to learn how to be a person."

10."Allowing 'tweenage' girls to dress in revealing clothing that doesn’t cover their bodies because 'that’s the style' these days. A little modesty goes a long way! They’re kids!"

—Anonymous

11."'Free-range parenting' is the worst. My step-cousins were raised like this for the first few years of their lives. The oldest has just started to learn discipline. The others still treat people like jungle gyms, break into things, etc. Please, control your kids."

12."I hate when parents refer to their kids as 'mini-me.' It gives me major ick. Your kids should not be your clones. Let them be who they are and grow into who they want to be with your guidance."

—Anonymous

13."Gender reveal parties! It’s an unnecessary reason for an expensive party. Share the news intimately with your partner at the doctor’s office or with family at home."

14."Not allowing kids to be hugged or kissed by grandparents. Three of my grandkids are loving and warm. They love snuggling with me. The other two, raised with the idea no one could touch them, are cold and distant from everyone. Touch is an essential human need and provides a much-needed emotional connection. Unless you have a creepy relative, don't deprive kids of a loving hug from people who adore them!"

—Anonymous

15."Not making your kids do things because you didn't like to do them when you were their age. As a teacher, it kills me when I talk to parents who say they don't make their kids read or do homework because they didn't like to do those things when they were in school! We are raising an entire generation of kids who think they don't have to do anything simply because they don't like it!"

16."Parents want to be a 'friend' first and their parent only if it doesn't involve disciplinary actions. Children need to know what is acceptable and unacceptable, what behavior is acceptable at home and in public, and what the age-appropriate consequences for unacceptable behavior are. Unconditional parental love undergirding the parent's response to their child's behavior."

—Jerry, 70

17."Not teaching kids emotional regulation or how to express emotions healthily. It is the norm now to allow kids to express emotions, but few people bother to extend acceptance into regulation or management. When the emotions extend to poor behaviors, they are normalized. Teach kids how to express emotions AND manage them; otherwise, you are just raising kids who not only can't cope but expect others to deal with their feelings for them."

18."Using your 'past trauma' as an excuse not to give consequences to your child's actions. A student had to be removed from a field trip due to behavioral issues, and the patient said, 'Fine, I'll just take her myself. I'm not going to traumatize my kids like I was as a child.' You're rewarding your kids for their bad behavior."

—Anonymous

19."As a parent of young kids, I think birthday parties have gotten ridiculous, especially when the kid is too young even to remember them. If a kid is too little to know what day it is, you don't need to go nuts."

20."Saying, 'Good job!!!' for the smallest task, including tasks children should be expected to do: take their plate to the dishwasher, pick up items they dropped on the floor, use proper manners, etc. Also, I wish parents would ask their kids how they think they performed when they complete an important task rather than always expecting others to tell them how they did. How will they ever be able to value their worth if it always comes from others' opinion of them?"

—Anonymous

21."Your four-year-old should not be in activities every day of the week! I have kids with dance, piano, ninja academy, mandarin classes, and extra math lessons. They need to go home and be able to play with the neighborhood friends, but they are not always entertained by going to activities."

22."Taking care of tough situations for your kids. Sometimes, kids need to learn how to deal with failure or what to do when things don't work how they think. If parents are always stepping in and taking care of things (even when their kids are older), kids can't figure out how to deal with things themselves."

—Anonymous

23."People who don't ever allow their kids to be unhappy. 'Oh, you don't have to do that if it makes you unhappy; just do what makes you happy.' Yeah, that's great in theory, but what about all the stuff we have to do that we don't love doing? Am I happy doing the grocery shopping plan? No. Am I ecstatic about doing the laundry and putting it all away? No. Am I ecstatic every day at the prospect of going to work? No. Doing things you need to but don't like to build resilience and responsibility. It's important. Experiencing all emotions is also important; if you're sheltered from ever being unhappy, you'll never be able to handle disappointment and difficult emotions later in life."

24."Not parenting, but rather finding everything else to blame your child's behavior on. As a teacher, I see this all the time. No, we don't need to screen your 12-year-old for ADHD yet again. They aren't listening because you have no consequences. I understand that it would be easier to think that your kid has idiosyncrasies, but it only sets them up to fail and doesn't fix the problems they are having."

—SpookyB

Do you have something to add? What modern parenting trend do you disagree with? Or, on the other hand, what is a parenting trend you love? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.