"No One Talks About How Hard It Really Is To Do This": Women Over 30 Are Revealing The "Hard Thing" They Did This Year, And I Have Tears In My Eyes
Let's be honest, 2024 was a hard year. But even though things didn't always go our way, it doesn't mean we still can't celebrate the accomplishments we finally tackled. So when Reddit user headfullofGHOST asked the r/AskWomenOver30 community: "What's one thing you did this year that you're proud of?" I thought it would be helpful to share their wins (and for you to share your wins in the comments below!). Here are some of their answers:
1."I ended a toxic relationship that I’ll likely spend years recovering from. I’m only slightly better after nearly a year later."
"I also ended a relationship this year (in January) that was going nowhere, and I’m really proud of myself for actually taking the time to be alone and heal. No one talks about how hard it really is to do this. That is probably why a lot of people don’t. I’m praying it’s worth it, though, and next year can be a better year for me. 12 months of these types of feelings hasn’t been easy."
2."I haven’t had a drink all year."
3."I’ve had driving anxiety my whole life and have been working on it for the past two years. Well, last year, I did a 7-hour road trip to a different state all by myself."
"Congratulations! Seven hours alone in the car is huge!! I have driving anxiety as well. I'm very much not quite where you are yet, but this year, with my boyfriend's help, I started to drive to work about once a week, instead of always taking public transport."
4."I got on an airplane for the first time in almost 25 years!"
"I took medicine, so that helped a ton — but really, it was completely fine. I brought my laptop and noise-canceling headphones and watched a movie the entire time for both flights, which kept me distracted. I loved the window seat and was actually in awe of seeing the landscape from the sky!"
5."I bought a house for me and my teen! It felt awesome. I'm a single parent, so going against all the sh%*t people say about us not making it feels awesome. Lol."
6."I defended my thesis and was awarded distinction. Fucking crushed it. "
7."I came out to my Chinese family and moved in with my girlfriend (I'm a female). Even when they threatened me with a lot of things, I didn't budge and didn't let it affect me."
8."I asked for a raise; I’d never done that. I laid out all the ways my work had raised the company’s profits — and I got it!"
9."I took an actual vacation with my best friend for the first time in years. We went to Costa Rica to celebrate turning 40 together."
10."I quit my job of five years in May. It was a toxic environment, and my career was going nowhere. I got an offer at a great company in town, and although it’s been a challenging six months of settling in, I regret nothing."
11."My agoraphobia got bad after COVID, but I've really worked on it this year. It's not perfect; I still chicken out all the time, but I've gotten more accustomed to going to the store on my own, walking into new places by myself, and going out at the last minute without psyching myself up for two days. "
12."Started therapy. Best thing!"
"Oh heeyyyyy!! Therapy twin, lol. I also did that this year!
I love it when people say they're going to therapy. That's a great thing! It gives you a better perspective on things or how to deal with and unpack. Happy for you!"
13."Overcoming the cycle of abuse and being the mother I always needed for myself."
14."Finally did my first pull-up! I’m hoping to do three in a row by the end of the year."
15."Setting boundaries and letting go of unnecessary guilt. I am a recovering people-pleaser and used to feel horrible saying no to things like last-minute invites for family outings when I already had plans. Now, it rolls right off the tongue, 'Hey, thanks! Bummed we can’t be there — but we do have another commitment, and please include us next time!'"
16."I let go of some of my hyper-independent tendencies, leaned on friends during some really tough times, and was rewarded leaps and bounds with the knowledge that I’ve got some absolutely solid friends. Also, I somehow tricked my brain into enjoying going to the gym. I feel restless if I don’t go at least twice a week now."
17."Moved to a new country all alone. Not only that, but I made a home here, got to know the city, and even made a few friends. 11 months later, and I feel like I’m settled in."
18."I joined Big Brothers Big Sisters as a Big and have been hanging out with a Little once a week(ish) since March. I’ve been curious about mentorship for years but have always been afraid that I would not be good enough or that there were too many women who volunteered and they wouldn’t need me. It was a big deal for me to finally just sign up and go through the application process."
"And I’m so thankful I finally did it. It’s the single most beneficial thing I’ve done for my mental health and work-life balance this year. It also just feels like a super big responsibility to spend quality time with someone else’s kid and be committed to caring about their life and their potential. We’ve both benefitted enormously from our match."
19."I read 62 books! I'm shooting for 65 before the year ends."
20."I paid off my $26k of credit card debt and started investing my money in the stock market! So far, I have $14k saved, and it’s making money! So cool"
"Call Vanguard (it’s free) and speak with a rep to set up a personal investment account. You can use it for savings (totally safe with a current 4.55% interest accrual), and what I’ve been doing now is throwing some money into index funds (VTI & VOO). This will fluctuate with the market, so don’t get scared if you lose money. This is meant to stay in an account for many, many years (it’ll grow, on average, around 10%, with inflation at 7%). In the last month alone, I made $100 on my money just sitting there. Just make sure that whatever money you throw into your portfolio, you commit to leaving it there."
21."Last year, I finally learned to drive at the age of 33. This year, I drove the first five hours of a nine-hour road trip and the last four hours on the trip back. I was pretty proud of that. Also, I left the house more. Said yes to friends’ invites instead of 'No, thanks' like I always do. Went to four concerts (including the Eras tour) and several other events instead of just sitting at home 24/7. I’m also learning to keep stuff to myself and stop being nosey when gossiping. Those all sound like 'teenage stuff,' but I’m an extremely late bloomer, and proud of me."
22."Survived. It's been a tough year. Pulling off a transatlantic trip while still being quite deep in depression/grief may come as a close second. I was impressed how I struggled to feed myself on a daily basis but knew exactly how to handle airports and planes."
People who identify as women, share with us the one thing you did this year that you're so proud of doing in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
