What to know about sex during pregnancy
Expecting a baby and wrestling with hormones? If you recently found out that you’re pregnant you could be feeling sick, tired and anxious. Or, it's possible that you may have noticed a change in your libido.
That's right, pregnancy can affect women in different ways and your desire for sex can change throughout the trimesters. Rest assured, it's totally normal. "Along with a feeling of deeper appreciation for your body and increased confidence, if you find yourself wanting sex more during pregnancy, this is completely normal," says Lucy Rowett, Sex Coach and UK Advisor for couples' intimate subscription box Pleasy Play Thanks to hormones and increased blood flow to the genital area, many women experience a surge in sexual desire and report stronger, better orgasms to boot. And, regular sex can benefit your stress-levels, your relationship and your wellbeing, after all...
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
If you’ve been trying for a baby for any length of time, being able to enjoy sex for pleasure’s sake (and not to get pregnant – as that box has been ticked) can be liberating. But is it safe to have sex during this magical time?
"It is absolutely safe to have sex during pregnancy," says Julie Bowring, Consultant in Sexual and Reproductive Health at London Gynaecology. "Some women may be advised to avoid sex by their medical team, but if all is going well in your pregnancy and you have not been advised to abstain from sex, you can continue without worrying it will harm your pregnancy."
Is it safe to use sex toys during pregnancy?
Due to the size and position of your growing bump, some sexual manoeuvres may become trickier as your pregnancy develops, and this is where gadgets can save the day. Sex toys can get your libido up to speed, target the pleasure zones you might struggle to reach as your bump grows, and they're great fun too. It's also worth investing in water-based lube and a pregnancy pillow to keep things comfortable.
"Staying sexually active – both by yourself and with your partner – can help you feel more confident and closer to your partner during this time," says Lucy. "And it can help dispel internalised myths that pregnant people can't also be sexual."
"We often forget how important masturbation is for staying connected with ourselves, and sex toys can be a fantastic tool for self-exploration, especially during pregnancy, when your body is going through so many changes," adds Samantha Marshall, sex expert and Head of Brand at Smile Makers.
Kelly Gordon, sex expert and creative head at Hot Octopuss agrees: "Try feeling your body and noticing new things about your body/sensations that feel good. Make love to yourself with toys and enjoy those new (potentially enhanced) sensations." She notes that if your pregnancy is high risk, you should check with your healthcare team to ensure they are happy for you to use sex toys internally.
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Will sex during pregnancy impact your baby?
If you are concerned about the risk of miscarriage or early labour, you can rest assured that sex during pregnancy will not have any impact on your growing foetus. Your baby is well protected by amniotic fluid and super-strong uterus muscles so – provided you have a healthy pregnancy – it’s perfectly safe to enjoy sex right up until your waters break unless your healthcare team tell you otherwise.
"Sex does not hurt your baby during pregnancy," reassures Julie. "When you are having sex, your partner's penis will not reach up as far as where your baby is. Your baby is positioned safely inside the womb and will not be affected by you having sex."
5 best sex positions during pregnancy
Finding sexual positions that are both comfortable and pleasurable may not always be easy, but it's possible – and, for the majority of people, totally safe. The more advanced your pregnancy, the trickier some positions might get, so you can either modify your favourite moves or try new ones.
1. Missionary position
"If you love missionary but find your bump gets in the way, you can adjust it so that your partner doesn't lean on top of you but faces you at a right angle instead," suggests Lucy.
2. Spooning
Spooning is a fail-safe pregnancy sex position. " It gives both partners comfort, whilst also allowing room for your growing bump (meaning that you aren’t required to rest on your bump at all)," explains Kelly. "The spooning position also allows for deep penetration similarly to doggy style. If you want to turn it up a notch try spreading your legs wide or getting your partner to hold one leg up to allow for even deeper penetration."
3. Doggy style
If your partner goes too deep it can be uncomfortable, but for the most part doggy style is ideal during pregnancy, as your bump will be out of the way while you bend over. "What's more, the depth of penetration can be easily adjusted to suit your sensitivity and comfort level," adds Samantha. Plus, it makes for easy access to introduce your favourite sex toy into the mix.
4. Cowgirl position
If your partner lies down while you straddle them, this won't put any pressure on your bump and it will also allow you to control the speed and depth.
5. Seated sex
"Try seated sex where the pregnant person is seated in a chair and your partner can either use their penis, tongue, or fingers to pleasure you," says Lucy. Or, add one of the best vibrators into the mix.
What if you don’t feel like having sex during pregnancy?
Just because sex is safe during pregnancy, doesn't mean you'll feel like it. Morning sickness is not the best aphrodisiac and the rollercoaster of surging hormones can lead to symptoms such as nausea, tiredness, aching, and mood swings, all of which can lead to a libido plummet. So, if sexual desire suddenly drops to the bottom of your to-do list, don’t be alarmed. Many expectant mothers find that their desire for sex changes during certain stages in the pregnancy, or just becomes uncomfortable as their bump grows.
"Your body is experiencing a lot of physical and hormonal shifts, so it's perfectly natural to have periods where you might not feel up for sex," Samantha reassures. "Instead of worrying about these changes, consider them as your body’s way of adapting." She suggests using this as an opportunity to focus on self-care and explore other forms of intimacy that might feel more comfortable for you. "Sometimes, a gentle cuddle, a relaxing massage, or simply spending quality time with your partner can be just as meaningful," Samantha adds. "Open communication with your partner about how you’re feeling can also help both of you understand and navigate these changes together... Remember, every pregnancy is unique, and what matters most is that you take care of your own emotional and physical wellbeing. "
When to abstain from sex during pregnancy
If there are any specific concerns about your pregnancy, your healthcare provider may advise you to avoid sex. "Examples include a risk of infection, such as your waters have broken early, if there are problems with your cervix or if your placenta is positioned low in your pelvis," says Meg Wilson, Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at London Gynaecology.
If your partner has a sexually transmitted infection (STI), you may also be advised to avoid all vaginal, oral and anal sex. Always use a barrier contraception such as condoms during sexual activity with a new partner and if you have any concerns, speak to your GP or midwife.
For more information about pregnancy sex, visit the NHS website.
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