Husband moves dates to avoid family holiday with his mother-in-law
A mother-of-two has ignited a debate after revealing that her husband changed the dates of their family holiday to avoid having to spend time with her mother.
Taking to parenting forum Mumsnet for advice, the woman explained the difficult situation.
“My DH (dear husband) booked a big holiday for this year for me and our two DC (dear children),” she wrote. “Then, my mum also booked to go to the same place along with my sister and brother – without telling me first.”
“My mum’s logic was that she would be able to help us out with childcare and at the same time, we could get the big family holiday she’s always dreamed of since my dad passed away in a horrific incident many years ago. Not the greatest logic but her heart was in the right place.”
But upon learning about the forthcoming family getaway, her husband changed the dates of the holiday without telling anyone, as he believed it to be his decision after footing the bill.
“I was really upset with him that he couldn’t just go with the flow and let us have this holiday together,” she continued.
“I understand his point of view but my family aren’t monsters and we all get on well. My mum literally does everything for us. She babysits at the drop of a hat, dotes on our children, is always there for me and needs as much family support as she can get, as she’s still grieving.”
“I now feel that if anything was to happen to my mum in the coming years and I missed out on this last big family holiday together I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive him. AIBU? (Am I being unreasonable?)”
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In response, a large number of users took to the post to defend her husband’s decision.
“I’m really sorry but even though perhaps he should have discussed it with you better first, I see where he’s coming from,” one wrote.
“You just don’t crash other people’s holidays like that without consultation and I can totally see why he was deeply unimpressed. Your mum needs to learn to ask and discuss first.”
Another added: “I suspect your DH was looking forward to his family holiday with you and to suddenly have the pressure of your family wading in without any agreement or discussion was too much.”
“I’m sorry for your loss and the grief you are experiencing but I’m afraid I’m with your husband to, a fellow users commented. “Your mum should have checked with you both before she did this.”
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Whereas others (albeit a small few), were quick to defend the mother-in-law.
“Your mother is treating you like a child and your husband is certainly not treating you as an equal in your relationship,” one wrote.
“His response is every bit as disrespectful to you as your mother’s actions were. I can understand why you’re upset. It’s awful to feel stuck in the middle but this situation is not of your making and you have been infantilised and disrespected by two people who should know better.”