How to cope when your favourite celebrity has done something terrible

Our favourite celebrities are often a source of inspiration and joy, with many fans taking comfort in their works. But beware of idolising celebrities because, sometimes, they let you down.

When a beloved celebrity becomes the subject of controversy or scandal, fans are left reeling and it can be hard to know how to deal with it.

Recently, long-standing fans of Neil Gaiman have been shocked by allegations of sexual assault from multiple women against the author. A Tortoise Media podcast released in July 2024 investigated the allegations of four women, but four more women have come forward with fresh allegations of assault, abuse and coercion by Gaiman, as reported by Vulture.

Gaiman, who is famous for his works including The Sandman series and Stardust, has categorically denied the allegations. In a statement posted on social media, he said he has "never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone", "ever".

But scores of fans have expressed deep emotions surrounding the news, with some describing themselves as feeling "betrayed" by someone who was once their favourite author.

Writing on X, formerly Twitter, one person said: "Neil Gaiman is such a profound disappointment. He spent his life creating beautiful work for people who needed an escape all while secretly being exactly the monster so many of us needed the escape from.

"To me, that feels like a very specific, very sinister kind of betrayal."

Another wrote about being a "long time fan" of Gaiman’s books, adding that the Coraline author "made me want to be a writer". However, in light of the allegations, they said: "For the first time in my life, I feel like burning books."

In recent months, fans of other celebrities and artists have found themselves in similar positions - from hip hop mogul Sean 'Diddy' Combs, who has been jailed following a number of accusations of violence and sexual misconduct, to former BBC presenter Huw Edwards, who pleaded guilty to possession of indecent images of children in July 2024.

How to navigate your feelings

For many people, celebrities play an important role - even if you don’t know a celebrity personally, their work and personality may resonate with you and make you feel emotionally connected to them.

So when a beloved celebrity disappoints us, it can trigger a range of emotions, from anger and betrayal to confusion and sadness, explains Holly Beedon, clinical lead from Living Well UK.

She tells Yahoo UK: "These feelings are natural; after all, celebrities often hold a special place in our lives. They can, for many, be a source of inspiration, escapism, or create a shared sense of identity.

"Allow yourself to acknowledge and process these emotions in a healthy way, understanding you can separate the art from the artist without feelings of guilt."

Beedon encourages fans who feel blindsided when their favourite celebrity lets them down to talk to someone they trust, such as a friend, family member or therapist. This can help them explore what they are feeling in a safe, controlled environment.

Journaling can also be an effective way of "untangling the complexity of what you’re feeling", as writing down your emotions is a healthy outlet.

"It’s important to remember that your feelings of conflict or disappointment are completely valid," Beedon adds. "You are allowed to re-evaluate your relationship with their work and the role they play in your life without feeling pressured to arrive at an immediate conclusion."

Where can fans go for support?

Talking about what has happened is important to help you process your emotions and understand how you want to move forward, so don’t feel like you have to go through it alone.

Beedon advises "engaging in open, respectful conversations with others who share your perspective - or more importantly, those who don’t - can help you articulate your thoughts and lead you to a sense of clarity in a quicker way than navigating through this solo".

Fans can also engage with communities both online or offline, which can offer spaces for meaningful discussions around the subject.

However, Beedon warns that these spaces "may create a toxic environment where you feel that your emotions on said artist cannot be expressed". She adds: "It’s best to consume different opinions to ensure you have a well-versed understanding of the situation that will help you form your own opinion."

"For more personal support, consider speaking with a professional. Psychologists and psychotherapists are trained to guide you through complex emotions and dilemmas, helping you make sense of your responses."

Beedon advises: "If this situation has triggered other unresolved feelings or experiences, professional help can also support you in addressing those."

Is it possible to separate the art from the artist?

Many fans grapple with the question of whether they can still enjoy the work of their former favourite artist or celebrity without supporting or condoning their behaviour.

Beedon says that the process of separating the art from the artist is "deeply personal", with no right or wrong way of doing so.

"One strategy is to reflect on why the artist’s work resonates with you - is it the themes they touch on, characters they portray, or moral messages they deliver?" she says. "By focusing on these elements, you might find it easier to appreciate the art independently of the person behind it."

But many people feel conflicted about continuing to engage with an artist’s work - particularly if they stand to profit from it. In this case, Beedon advises setting personal boundaries.

"You might choose to enjoy their work without financially contributing to them, or you may decide to step away altogether. Whatever your choice, it should align with your values and comfort level."

She adds: "Ultimately, navigating this situation requires compassion - for yourself, for others grappling with similar feelings, and for the complexity of human imperfection."

Read more about our connection with celebrities:

• As Zendaya hints at Tom Holland engagement, why do we care about celebrity weddings? (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)

• The complicated nature of celebrity, grief and parasocial relationships (Harper's Bazaar, 4-min read)

• The psychological reason we're so obsessed with celebrity relationships (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)