The complicated nature of celebrity, grief and parasocial relationships
Former One Direction star Liam Payne was tragically confirmed dead after falling from a balcony in Buenos Aires last month. He was just 31 years old. It’s a shocking, unfathomable end for someone so young and so widely adored, with fans holding vigils while his funeral now takes place.
Whether you were a ‘Directioner’ or not, the huge cultural impact that One Direction had at their peak cannot be denied. Considered one of the biggest boybands in music history, the group sold more than 70 million records worldwide, and won seven Brit Awards, and completed four global tours. The group reached a level of celebrity reserved for a very few – a stratospheric rise to the top for what were effectively five ordinary teenagers, who happened to be randomly thrust together on a TV talent show. Garnering this far-reaching fame so quickly proved claustrophobic; in an interview with The Telegraph, Payne complained about having ‘cabin fever’ due to passionate fans following the band’s every movement. “I can remember when there were 10,000 people outside our hotel,” he said. “We couldn’t go anywhere. It was just gig to hotel, gig to hotel. And you couldn’t sleep, because they’d still be outside.”
It was this somewhat unusual entrance into the world of showbiz which invited the intense parasocial relationships that many people have with One Direction members. Parasocial relationships, in and of themselves, are not bad things, explains counsellor Georgina Sturmer. “They can grow into something deeper if that relationship offers a way to meet our ‘unmet needs,’” she tells Harper’s Bazaar. “Perhaps we are feeling lonely or isolated or anxious or bored – and we are looking for a relationship in order to soothe ourselves.
“These relationships can also enhance our sense of connection. We might feel happy when we hear good news about the other person, or when we see images or videos that feature them. They can also give us a sense of community – for example when we are part of a community of fans, or if the relationship feels like part of our identity.”
Of course, obsessive fan culture is hardly new – One Direction’s huge fanbase was regularly likened to ‘Beatlemania’ and The Samaritans famously opened a hotline for distraught teens when Take That announced they were disbanding in 1996. However, One Direction’s fame was a first of its kind for being born in the age of social media, giving fans unfettered access into their lives. Every interaction they had in public was scrutinised and unpacked to forensic levels – to the point that members of the band openly expressed discomfort.
Parasocial behaviour becomes problematic when these sorts of boundaries are violated, says Sturmer. “[At its extreme] we might start to feel jealous of the other people in their lives, or angry that they don’t know that we exist, engaging in fantasies about our life together. This can all be exacerbated by the fandoms and social media whirlwinds and chatter that we see online.”
One Direction may have gone on hiatus eight years ago, but their fanbase is still very much active – and loud. A cursory look on social media and you fill find thousands proclaiming their grief in the wake of Payne’s death. It may seem strange to see such public, and personal, outpourings for a star that many won't have met, but for those in parasocial relationships, an adored celebrity is more than just a person – they’re symbolic of something greater.
“Critics may question the authenticity of grieving for someone we've never met, but the emotions we feel are undeniably genuine,” Maria Bailey, founder of Grief Specialists, explains. “The impact of a celebrity on our lives is very real. They may have been there during pivotal moments, offering support, encouragement, or inspiration. Their work may have provided an escape from life's challenges, or their life story may have served as a beacon of hope.
“The tears shed, the heartfelt tributes, and the deep sense of sadness are all authentic expressions of grief. We grieve not just for the person but for the loss of what they represented in our lives.”
Seeing others also voicing their emotions can only amplify the feelings in question, Bailey adds. “Collective grief has a unique power to magnify personal emotions,” she says. “When we see so many others openly expressing their sadness, sharing their memories, and celebrating the celebrity's impact, it validates the depth of our own feelings. This collective mourning not only helps individuals process their emotions but also reinforces the realness of the grief they experience.”
While social media often promotes a binary rhetoric, the reality of most situations will see us occupy a range of emotions at once. We may express dismay at the loss of someone who died before their time. We can acknowledge perhaps that the showbiz world poorly prepares people for the monumental levels of fame they might experience – and that the aftercare is inadequate. We can mourn what someone meant to us, and express sympathy for those they leave behind, while also conceding that maybe, we never knew who they really were at all.
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