The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Oct. 5-11)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
I made my kids watch Airplane and they didn’t think it was funny and I just don’t know where to go from here.
— Stacey (@skittle624) October 6, 2024
We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone “And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep?” like we were two teens who hadn’t thought this pregnancy through
— Mandalynns23 (@mandalynns23) October 10, 2024
driving and conversing in the car with my child then she says “simon says just drive don’t talk” 🙃🙃🙃gagged tf out of me
— Zonnique (@Zonnique) October 10, 2024
taught my son how to call me on the phone and in the last 5 minutes he’s called me 6 times even though we’re in the house together and the sixth time was to ask me when halloween is
— amil (@amil) October 9, 2024
Every year I get excited to watch Hocus Pocus with my kids and every year I forget “virgins” are mentioned 100 times throughout it
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 10, 2024
Why go to your local supermarket to buy pumpkins when you could drive 45 minutes to a pumpkin patch and pay 10x while everyone has a meltdown and complains
— KSV (@KSVesq) October 5, 2024
the thing about having a toddler is that sometimes you open the dryer and there are 20 cans of cat food in it pic.twitter.com/uJC0NIkV2s
— Taylor Schumann (@taylorsschumann) October 6, 2024
A haunted house, but it’s just my kids loading the dishwasher with mugs that aren’t dishwasher safe.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 8, 2024
Terrible news. My 9yo has informed us that she's "allergic to chores."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) October 6, 2024
my teenager came out into the living room and is sitting here with me. Idk what to do. What's happening. Is this the twilight zone? does he know he's not in his room?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 9, 2024
brother-in-law: guess how many miles I cycled today?
my 10yo: I don't know, 4000?
him: no, 100.
10: oh, well hang in there and keep practicing!— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 8, 2024
Thanked a rival dad at the neighborhood chili cook off for making his mild so my kids could have some.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 11, 2024
My 4-year-old just monologued at me for 25 minutes, paused, and then said "Can I tell you something?"
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 10, 2024
I’m going to open a kids’ restaurant in Napa and call it Whine Country.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) October 10, 2024
Me: So your birthday is coming up and you get to choose what we have for dinner that night.
My 5yo: HMM… WHAT IS THAT GOOD MEAT?
Me: I’m not sure, maybe—
5: STEAK. I WILL HAVE STEAK.— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) October 10, 2024
My son woke me up at 2am to let me know he was awake, if you’re wondering if kids might be for you.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 7, 2024
It’s a real blow to the ego when your 9yo starts helping you with their math homework.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 9, 2024
My kids: this plain white rice is too spicy, I won’t eat it!
Also my kids: we need more Takis and make sure the pizza has extra pepperoni— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 9, 2024
Showed my 9yo a Facebook photo memory of her as a baby with my wife and a donkey which I captioned “And I will unfriend you if you make a silly joke about me”.
She didn’t get it. So I took her for a DNA test. She can’t possibly be mine.— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 10, 2024
Marked safe from financial ruin by convincing my kid to make a birthday card for a classmate instead of buying one
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 7, 2024
