Former Inmates Are Holding Nothing Back About What Christmas Is Like In Jail

Earlier this year, we shared a post where former inmates held nothing back about what life is really like behind bars.

Now that it's December, I thought it would interesting to check in again with the former inmates of Quora to find out what Christmas is like in prison. Here are their heartbreaking — and sometimes hopeful — experiences:

(Warning: There are mentions of violence and suicide.)

1."There was nothing to indicate that it was Christmas in prison because nothing changed. The prison looked exactly the same as it did 50 years ago. It was like Groundhog Day, every day we lived the exact same crap over and over again, just with a different meal each day. One year, I was feeling particularly miserable and, while on lockdown, my friend across the hall asked me what was wrong. I replied that I had too many Christmases in prison. He said, 'I hear that,' and then added, 'This is my 25th year.' For me to say that, and not consider that he was a lifer, was just not cool. Who the hell am I to complain about a few lousy years in when this guy did 25 and still had a smile on his face? That was the last time I ever complained or bitched about spending Christmas inside. I had no business whining over it. My friend did his 25 and got deported back to Jamaica free and clear. He was one hell of a guy."

—You Get Nada, Quora

2."I spent 29 Christmases in prison, and over the years I saw changes in what was provided to the incarcerated. In the first few years, Christmas was celebrated with a huge holiday meal that took up two trays. One tray included ham, turkey with dressing, rolls, mashed potatoes with gravy, and usually a serving of something different every year. The second tray contained a slice of pumpkin pie (or sweet potato pie), Cool Whip, a small container of ice cream, and a soda. Additionally, we received a bag of mixed nuts and another bag of candy. We were also given a few Christmas cards to send out and had $5 added to our accounts. However, after my third year in prison, they stopped providing the $5 to everyone. The two Christmas bags eventually changed to one. It consisted of shampoo, ramen soups, candy bars, etc. Over the years, the size of the Christmas meal became smaller, but it remained one of the best meals served in prison, alongside the Thanksgiving meal."

—Vernie S., Quora

3."Things can be tense; everyone wants to use the phone on Christmas. Most of us were considerate, only taking 5 or 10 minutes to let everybody have a turn. Once, there was a dispute over the phones. Two guys decided they weren't going to wait in the line, taking the slots of two other men, old heads. That was the first time I saw locks in socks used in earnest (the old heads won). It wasn't pretty, but it clearly shows what kind of mood prevails during holidays."

4."People aren't really nicer to each other. They're likely to miss home more, think about their kids and their family and the world going on without them, and might be short and shitty, so best to leave people alone for the most part. I treated it as I would any other day. I'd make a short phone call home, then go about my day and push aside all the depressing thoughts just below the surface because they're counterproductive at best. It's not great, but it's what you make of it — just like the rest of your time in prison."

—Krissy, Quora

5."Christmas in prison is not like a Christmas celebration at home. You won’t have room in your cell for a Christmas tree, and the only liquor you will see is some homemade pruno. You won’t be hanging stockings over the fireplace either."

"You will wake up Christmas morning not to the melody of Christmas music but to screaming inmates. You will walk to the chow hall for breakfast past the living quarters of a few inmates who are hanging until the guards and medical staff come cut them down.

When lunchtime arrives you will get some pressed turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, canned vegetables, an apple, and a piece of cake with razor thin frosting.

Christmas time is not a fun time in prison. Freedom, and being on the outside of the prison, is much, much better."

—Greg L., Quora

6."I spent two Christmas days during my two-and-a-half years of incarceration. They were complete opposite ends of the spectrum — one bad, one good. The bad: I was in a dorm with 65 others. Our Christmas Eve movie was Rob Zombie's Halloween. Not only was it the wrong holiday to show this horror movie, but it also contains the most graphic rape that I have ever seen in a movie. It's no wonder that inmates got into a scuffle that night with a female CO, resulting in a lockdown for the next six days."

"The Good: Christmas 2008, I had been in prison for two years. Despite my circumstances, I'd been extraordinarily blessed in so many ways. My five cellies had little to look forward to...without family, without resources, and short on hope, Christmas would be like any other day. I had a little money in my commissary account and planned to pay my blessing forward."

I awoke at 4:00 a.m. to hang stockings over the end of their bunks. These stockings were not like the ones 'hung over the fireplace with care.' Mine were a pair of commissary-purchased socks, one filled with a honeybun and the other with a Kit Kat. For less than $2.50 spent on each cellie, I did something I truly missed — giving gifts.

But the blessing was mine as I saw the childlike tears of my cellies when they awoke to find their stockings.

Throughout that Christmas day, the ripple effect of giving was evident as I received gifts in return. Inmates who had nothing brought me a shot of coffee, a dessert smuggled from the chow hall, a 'prison-art' Christmas card (better than Hallmark), and a 'jail-house sucker' (made from a handful of Jolly Ranchers melted over a light bulb, formed on a Q-tip, and finally rolled in Kool-Aid powder).

The gifts were so humble. But in their giving, the faces of my cellies radiated joy I had never seen before; none of us will ever forget Christmas 2008."

—Rich B., Quora

7."I spent a Christmas in an Ohio prison, and everyone's cold, blank faces matched the weather outside. Everyone was deep in their own thoughts, missing those closest to them. Most cons didn't acknowledge that it was Christmas. Because when you're on the inside, it's like time stands still. Christmas isn't a day but rather an event; without being surrounded by loved ones, Christmas isn't truly Christmas."

"On holidays, the basketball court and weight room are packed; anything to take your mind off the difficult situation you're in. Christmas dinner was a good tray, but it wasn't as good as Thanksgiving, for some reason. The thing I remember most about Christmas on the inside is that I couldn't wait for it to be over."

—Bryce S., Quora

8."Christmas, holidays, birthdays, and any other event inside are terrible. It is comparable to slow torture. I spent five years in federal prisons, and I absolutely despised Christmas, as did every other inmate in the system. To numb the pain, the Bureau of Prisons would give every inmate an extra 100-minute phone time; normally, we were restricted to 300 minutes of phone calls a month. When you think about it, 300 minutes is about one week of call time to most people; the only difference was that we were charged roughly $10 for a 15-minute call."

"In addition to the extra 100 minutes, we were given a large bag of candy every year. One of those assorted bags with assorted Tootsie Rolls, etc. As the economy worsened from 2002 until 2006, the bags got smaller every year. We also received a Cornish hen for lunch. As the years went by, the Cornish hen became half a hen, then a chicken breast. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, only observing to help frame a better understanding of the answer to the question. If you do the crime, you have to pay for it.

Prison is a bad place to be for anyone at any time. Holidays while inside are nothing short of a draconian punishment to drive in the fact that you will have years without your family."

—Will S., Quora

9."For many people in prison, this is a hard time. Some stay in their cell all day and won't even go eat the Christmas dinner. They say things like, 'If I can't enjoy Christmas in prison, I don't want to eat Christmas dinner.'"

10."I did 10 years inside, which, of course, sucked, but Christmas dinner was probably the best meal of the year. It was so popular that they had to hand out tickets because some guys would go through the jug up line twice, screwing over other guys for their meals. This nearly caused a riot during my second year when about 20 guys didn’t get served their turkey dinner. Then we refused to lock up until they got their turkey dinners."

—You Get Nada, Quora

11."It can be sad and depressing, but if you have a release date to go home one day, you will be excited every Christmas because you are almost to a new year and one year closer to going home. But a lot of inmates commit suicide around Christmas and Thanksgiving, so it’s not a good time for inmates around those holidays. There are a lot of family gatherings at the holidays, and many of the inmates feel alone and depressed, so check on your people inside around these two holidays."

—Stacii L., Quora

12."I spent 12 Christmases in US federal prison. I've always loved Christmas, and I felt like I would be damned if I let being locked up ruin my holiday spirit. I had a radio and headphones, so I constantly listened to Christmas music from the very moment the local radio stations started playing it. As an avid reader, I created a list of Christmas-themed novels that I would either buy or borrow from local libraries through the inter-library loan program. The commissary sold special Christmas items, and I would buy as many as I could afford."