The exact age your child should have a smartphone according to experts

Marie-Claire Dorking
·Contributor
Updated ·8-min read

Knowing when or even if to give your children a smartphone is a decision many parents wrangle with. From concerns about increased screen time and the type of content kids can access, to fears about online scams and the impact of social media on children’s mental health, there’s a myriad of issues to take into consideration.

And recent stats reveal parents are right to be worried with one study finding seven in 10 children aged between nine and 13 exposed to harmful experiences or content online. Further recent research found 46% of young people have been scammed online, with 9% losing money in the process.

Screen time addiction is another concern with research conducted by the University of Cambridge last year finding that 48% of British teenagers feel like they are addicted to social media.

One parent who has been navigating these exact issues is Britain's Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon. The 46-year-old mum-of-two has revealed that she is working "super hard" to prevent her children from having smartphones.

The former Strictly star, who shares children Azura and Anaya with artist Azuka Ononye, told Women’s Health UK: "As long as we can avoid our daughters having phones, we’re going try our hardest. (Azura, 11) can be begging me for a mobile phone and I feel no way to be like 'nope' because I’ve got one.

"(But) you’ve got to be strong with it. My thing is this: if she doesn’t need a phone then why is she having one? If I can delay her being in that world, I’m going to work super hard to make sure that it doesn’t happen. I don’t care if her friends have got phones. In our house, we don’t want that."

Dixon certainly isn't alone in taking this stance on phones. Smartphone Free Childhood, a grassroots movement gathering momentum online, is calling for parents to join together "to make childhood better for their children", pledging to delay giving their children smartphones amid concerns over the impact the devices have on developing brains. Organisers say thousands of parents have signed its "parent pact" to withhold the devices from children until they are at least 14.

Meanwhile the government has vowed to ban mobile phones in schools in England, while Australia is set to introduce legislation to ban under 16s from social media.

While many parents are opting to refuse children access to a smartphone, others are wrestling with confusion about the age kids should be allowed one.

Last August EE advised parents not to give primary school-aged children their own smartphone. It said that under-11s should be given "non-smart" devices that have similar capabilities as old brick phones.

But recent research by Ofcom reveals that the vast majority of children in the UK own a smartphone by the age of 11, with ownership rising from 44% at age nine to 91% at age 11.

Meanwhile one in five three and four-year-olds and almost a quarter of kids aged 5-7 in the UK have their own mobile phone, according to the same Ofcom research.

Teenage girl on her mobile phone. (Getty Images)
Experts have revealed the age children should be given a mobile phone. (Getty Images)

As children transition from primary to secondary school, many parents consider giving them their own phone.

But Nilou Esmaeilpour, a psychologist, clinical counsellor and founder of Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre, believes that between the ages of 12-14 is the best age to give your child their own device.

This is up to nine years older than the age of 5-7 which Ofcom revealed as the age almost a quarter of children have their own mobile phone.

"At this age, children tend to be more responsible and able to understand what the device is all about, including matters of privacy and keeping themselves safe online," he revealed to Bionic. "Moreover, most of them are mature enough to handle their responsibilities with respect to a phone, be it following usage guidelines or not falling prey to possible distractions."

Esmaeilpour says this age also brings the onset of minor independence, such as travelling to school or for extracurricular activities alone, where having a phone becomes very important from a safety and contact perspective. "Finally, the complex social dynamics are established in senior school, and having a phone would keep them in touch with peers - an element of social development,” she adds.

While Esmaeilpour has given an approximate age-range for parents to consider. According to child psychologist Dr Amanda Gummer the appropriate age can vary. The right time, she says, "depends on the circumstances of the child".

"Generally, allowing the use of phones for primary-age children allows them to keep up to date with their parents on any pick-up arrangements or changes of plans," she tells mobile phone retailer Fonehouse.

Younger children with separated or divorced parents may also find it comforting to be able to contact the other parent.

"That said, mobiles, especially smartphones can be difficult to control so unless there is a good reason, I'd recommend not letting children have smartphones until you're happy to let them start to use social media," Dr Gummer adds.

The former vice chairman of the Royal College of Psychologists also previously revealed that while smartphones can be a feasible tool for children he recommends they have one only after they have joined secondary school at age 11.

Speaking to the Daily Telegraph, Dr Jon Goldin said: "Children often say to their parents: 'All my friends are [getting phones] and you are not allowing me to do that'. In that situation, parents do need the support of national guidance."

Of course your child receiving their first phone is a big moment for families, but it can also bring some concerns for parents, including the fear it will lead to an increase in their screen time.

Thankfully, there are some ways to set boundaries to ensure children maintain a healthy balance and stay safe online.

No phone use after 8pm. "This ensures that too much screen time does not mess with your child's sleep," advises Esmaeilpour.

Set phone-free zones. Such as during dinner or while the family is together. "This helps in face-to-face communication and bonding within a family," says Esmaeilpour.

Create digital detox periods. Esmaeilpour suggests parents encourage time-frames when their children go completely phone or screen-free. "This could include screen-free weekends or a few hours in the day for non-screen activities,” she adds.

Open the dialogue. Esmaeilpour says the discussion and acceptance of what constitutes acceptable online behaviour in terms of the content they are allowed to view and share is important.

Set parental controls. "The use of parental control features that monitor and limit the usage will help children slowly learn self-regulation and responsible use," Esmaeilpour explains.

School girls with mobile phones. (Getty Images)
Parents have to cope with the peer pressure of their friends having a phone. (Getty Images)

Esmaeilpour says delaying giving your child their own mobile phone can significantly reduce their overall screen time. However, once their peers start getting devices, parents may feel pressured to follow suit, but there are some ways to manage the situation.

Vocalise your reasons. Esmaeilpour suggests keeping the lines of communication open about your concerns and why you are making the choices you make. "Explain to them why it is good to wait until they are ready; and how that's going to benefit them in terms of wellbeing and safety," she adds. 

Ease them into having their own phone. Esmaeilpour recommends allowing them to use a shared device in the house where more stringent control over its use may be exercised or having some type of basic phone model with limited functionality.

Speak to other parents. "Partnering with other parents to form a support network can also work quite effectively in an effort to maintain similar expectations of rules related to phones among their friends," Esmaeilpour explains.

Deflect attention. "It's also good to direct attention to other aspects of a child's life, such as some hobby, sport, or social activity unrelated to screens," Esmaeilpour adds.

Reinforce readiness and responsibility. "By setting examples to show that they truly mean something, parents can lighten the pressure and enable children to learn the worth of waiting," Esmaeilpour explains.

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