You don't need to rush to become the 'old you' again after having a baby
One of the most common things you hear when pregnant (other than the negative, 'Just you wait') is, 'You'll lose yourself once you become a mum.'
I gave birth to my daughter Winnie in July 2023, and my take is that when your little one arrives, you not only birth a baby but a new you as well.
It's natural to try and revert to the person you were before you had a child, but I discovered that it's impossible. But I also found that as sooner I embraced the new version of myself, the happier I became.
A new you
When you have a baby, not only are you getting to know your new body - which looks and feels totally different to before - but your day-to-day, your mindset and priorities have changed too.
Figuring out anything in those early days is so hard because life feels like one big, tired blur. I remember being sleep deprived, having extreme highs of love coupled with extreme lows of being so afraid of doing something wrong for this tiny little person who now relied on me.
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It's something you've never experienced before and it's scary. But it's strange because, the moment I trusted me instincts and went with what my mind and body told me to do, the more I realised whatever decisions I made, my instincts knew best and following them in those early blurry days, alongside a Google here and there, is the answer.
Shifting priorities
Before I had a baby, I was very particular with my time. I was also impeccably organised and if something didn't go to plan it felt like the day crumbled.
This is the biggest lesson I've learnt since becoming a mum. Every day is unpredictable with a child and very often nothing goes to plan. And that's okay. It's taught me how to go with the flow and relax.
I am so much less anxious and stressed now than I was before I had Winnie, which probably sounds odd, but I really believe the minute you lean into your instincts as a mother the better, my confidence as an overall human being has increased hugely.
READ: Why having a baby doesn't have to mean the end of adventure
Rediscovering you
Rediscovering your identity takes time. It took me a year or so to understand the new me and I'm still learning, 18 months down the line.
As a mother, you constantly evolve as your child does, because they are ever-changing.
My advice to other mums is that you know your baby best. Follow your instincts and trust yourself. You don't need to be the person you were before, priorities change and that's okay.
Keep leaning into this new you, but when it feels right, pick up those loves of the pre-baby you, and take moments for yourself when you can, because it's important to look after you too.
Meggan Grubb is founder of the Beyond App.