I stopped giving Christmas presents to my family and friends when I was in college. I enjoy the holidays even more now.
Michael Allen stopped buying pricey Christmas presents for his friends and family in college.
His financial priorities changed after leaving the Marine Corps and working toward his degree.
Allen values time with loved ones over material gifts and emphasizes memories over money.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Michael Allen, a 54-year-old author from Titusville, Florida. It has been edited for length and clarity.
In 1995, I realized I couldn't give expensive gifts anymore. I was used to buying gifts to impress my loved ones, and I received nice gifts as well. At a younger age, I would get things like an Atari with games, boxing gloves, or a football. Gift cards, nice clothes, and even a watch were more common presents as I grew older.
As a college student and a recently retired Marine, my priorities were school and food. My next goal after serving in the Marine Corps was to get a degree. Not wanting to participate in the "who bought the most expensive present" game made sense.
I was getting by on side jobs
I tutored other college students and worked as a bouncer. Although I was only making enough money to cover my necessities, I was looking forward to achieving my goals of becoming an English teacher and a writer.
Buying extravagant things at the expense of putting myself in huge debt didn't seem attractive. I knew my financial situation had changed throughout my life, and I had to spend and save accordingly.
Reflecting on the hard work I put in made me extremely proud rather than ashamed of my financial background.
I decided to have a conversation with my friends and family
One day before Christmas, I asked my friends and family to lower their expectations regarding future gifts. I told them about my financial situation, what I could spend on, and what I was trying to accomplish.
Spending exorbitant amounts on Christmas was out of the question. Being open and honest about my struggles and primary issues worked out in my favor. I wasn't nervous to have this conversation.
Most of them understood, and I was truly relieved once I confessed. It immediately broke the needless superficial confinement I had put myself in to conform to the norms.
I also prepared myself to receive less of what I had previously
While some family members would still buy me costly gifts, some limited their splurging on me after this conversation. I was satisfied with getting whatever they would get me, even if it was nothing sometimes. Some even joined me in setting this boundary for themselves.
I started enjoying Christmas even more without having to impress people with my gift-giving superpowers. I became accustomed to speaking my mind and being truthful at all times. When you embrace life in that manner, many burdens are lifted.
Even as I make more money, gifts still don't seem important to me
My financial situation has improved, but I now sometimes only hand out one present per person. I make sure it's something meaningful and not just anything.
I once made my mother a loving video, and she still plays it often. On another occasion, I built a website for my daughter and made her a book. Personalization goes a long way.
Focusing on getting together with your loved ones and spending purposeful time with them are the only significant things of concern to me. Gifts are a component of Christmas, not the foundation.
Memories matter, not money. Food, drinks, old movies, and a good time is all I care about getting from anyone.
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