Mom pleads ‘don’t tell me the gender,’ but doctor reveals it anyway—sparking online debate
In a viral TikTok that has parents everywhere talking, user @alsheahan shared her unexpected—and unwanted—gender reveal moment during a phone call with her doctor.
She started the call by clearly stating her wishes: “I’m getting my NIPT results. I do not want to know the gender. Please do not tell me the gender.” The doctor acknowledged her request… but seconds later, they accidentally blurted out: “Fetal sex is…”
Her reaction? A mix of disbelief and frustration. “No, no, no, no, no!” she pleaded, pretending she hadn’t heard. But the damage was done—the secret she had hoped to save for a special moment was gone.
In the TikTok, which has already amassed over 16,000 views, @alsheahan explained that she was thrilled to hear that everything was low-risk and healthy—but she couldn’t help feeling disappointed. “I’m on the verge of tears because, like, he took that away from me,” she shared with viewers.
@alsheahan The gender reveal I didn’t ask for
We asked the Motherly community if they opted to find out the gender of their baby, and here’s what they had to say:
Yes, I found out—I wanted to plan ahead. 72%
No, I waited—I wanted it to be a surprise. 24%
I planned to wait, but someone accidentally told me. 2%
I didn’t have a strong preference either way. 1%
The internet reacts
The story struck a chord with fellow parents, especially those who’ve experienced similar moments of unintentional (and frustrating!) gender reveals.
One commenter, @meak
, shared her own experience: “I said to the GP with my first baby, ‘PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME—just write it down and pop it into an envelope.’ He goes, ‘Oh, okay, so I’ll write it in pink then… or blue.’” Another mom, @katherinea, added, “This exact thing happened to me too! ‘Your NIPT results are all low-risk, and by the way, you’re having a girl.’”
Some commenters were quick to defend the mom’s right to feel upset. @rome
wrote, “Your feelings are valid, honey. It’s amazing everything is all good, but it’s okay to feel like he took that from you.”
This isn’t the first time a failed gender reveal has gone viral. In another instance, a mom-to-be had her plans dashed when a bakery accidentally left a voicemail revealing the baby’s gender before the big moment. The story, which also sparked frustration online, shows just how easily these surprises can go awry.
Related: You simply *have* to watch this grandma’s reaction to her child’s triplet pregnancy reveal
Why waiting matters
For parents who choose to wait to find out their baby’s gender, it’s about more than just keeping a secret. Many see it as a chance to savor the magic of the moment—whether during a gender reveal with loved ones or at the birth itself.
I can relate to this mom’s frustration. I didn’t find out the sex of any of my three babies. At every single ultrasound, checkup, or blood test appointment, I disclosed at the very beginning that I did not want to find out the baby’s sex and asked if they could please refrain from sharing. The doctors and medical professionals were all generally supportive of my decision even if I was in the overwhelming minority. They never made me feel lesser than and respected my choice. In fact, some were even excited because ‘no one chooses to wait anymore.
In a world that often expects parents to want every detail as soon as possible, there’s something profoundly special about choosing to wait. Team Green parents—those who opt not to find out the gender until birth—know that this decision isn’t always understood, but it’s theirs to make. Respecting every mom’s choice, whether it’s to plan a grand gender reveal or to wait until delivery day, is part of what makes the journey of motherhood so unique.
Have you ever had a similar experience with your pregnancy? How did you handle it? Join the conversation and let us know in the comments!
Related: After infertility, twins tearful pregnancy reaction sparks viral joy
