Dad who is his wife’s carer loses 42kg after prioritising his health for the first time in over a decade
A dad who had scoliosis and countless sporting injuries has lost 42kg and is now pain and medication free after going to the gym and putting himself first for the first time since becoming his wife’s carer.
Toby Allen, 47, an IT consultant from Bexley in South-East London, used to play rugby, hockey and football, but injuries left him with a broken back, decompressed shoulder, fractured shinbone, bulging discs and scoliosis, causing him to become inactive and put on 47kg by 2021.
Toby’s wife, Rosa, 53, was in a coma for seven days in 2017 and still needs constant care, so he looks after her and their 10-year-old daughter, Lara, meaning he does not have much time for himself.
Meanwhile in lockdown, Toby’s parents also lived with him for around four months after his father, Pete, 77, caught Covid-19 while in hospital and passed it to his mum, Jackie, 76.
Toby eventually started eating a little healthier at the end of July 2021, causing him to lose some weight and he decided to continue his health journey by joining the gym in September 2021 – a step that completely turned his life around.
Now Toby is medication and pain-free, plays football once a week and can run around with his young daughter.
At his heaviest, Toby weighed 167kg after getting injured when playing rugby in 2008.
He said: “I used to be pretty active. I used to play rugby at a reasonable level, play indoor hockey and football and go to the gym but one day in 2008, I broke my leg while playing rugby.
“It was a strange break in that it was just below the kneecap, where the ligament joins.
“But I rushed back to play about six or seven months later and that’s when I wrecked my shoulder and back.”
His health had gotten so bad that one day his surgeon said that if he did not lose the excess weight, he would need major surgery and might never walk again.
He explained: “I ended up having a shoulder decompression and scoliosis and kyphosis when you get the postural rounding of the shoulders and the cracked vertebrae. So, as you can imagine, that was the end of me playing rugby.
“The broken leg was the worst at the time because I went from doing a lot of sports to basically doing nothing.
“I think I was probably feeling sorry for myself with my shoulder and back.
“I’d be walking on the street and the leg would give way and I actually got permanent sciatica, so I couldn’t get comfortable or sleep very well.”
In 2011, Toby’s wife, Rosa, became severely ill, so Toby became her carer from then onwards – in 2017, she was in a coma for seven days.
On top of this, Toby also had their daughter, Lara, to look after, and in December 2020 his parents moved in after his father caught Covid-19 while in hospital for an operation, which he passed onto Toby’s mum when coming out of hospital.
He said: “Both my parents were very very ill and my mum was on monoclonal antibodies as a last resort.
“They stayed for about four months and I guess between looking after Rosa, Lara and my folks, it became my full-time job on top of my job as an IT consultant.
“Exercise was just a matter of inconvenience and I was barely moving. All I was doing was basically driving people to their hospital appointments or medical appointments.”
On 21 September 2021 Toby decided to go to his first gym session, saying: “I was eating a bit better at the time and got down to 149kgs just from that.
“I suppose the way to describe it is it’s a bit like when you blow up a balloon and you let go and it sort of goes in that lazy spiral in the right direction.
“And I thought, there must be a better way of losing some weight, so I looked into a few local gyms and went with Ultimate Performance.
“For the best part of 10 years, I was basically in agony while sorting my wife out.
“I was on all sorts of medication for my back, various nerve blockers, and painkillers, and I couldn’t sleep properly.
“So I thought I better go and see a proper trainer to restore the balance and I suppose try and do it safely, because I guess I’m your typical bloke who jumps into things feet first, thinking I used to be able to lift 100 kilos so I must be able to do that now.
“I had a look at a couple of gyms and met the manager of Ultimate Performance and he explained a little bit about it, and I saw all the other trainers in action working one-to-one.
“When I first went back to the gym, I was a little bit nervous because I knew what a mess I was in, I was completely imbalanced.
“For example, my leg hadn’t recovered from when I broke it, so little things like the balance test was a struggle.
“In the gym itself, I was basically lifting heavy things and I eventually got stronger.
“The weights got heavier, which actually stopped all the skin going baggy.
“Outside of the gym, I put a lot of work in. I walked 15 to 20,000 steps a day, as the minimum, in combination with eating properly.
“Now, the rest is history. Just over a year later, I’m not on medication, I can stand up straight, my scoliosis is gone and I can swing my shoulder around to play golf.”
This transformation was the first time Toby had focused on himself and given his body the attention and care it desperately needed.
Now, Toby weighs around 110kg, takes no medication and is completely pain-free.
He said: “Before I lost weight, I probably came across as a little bit moody or grumpy. And I think now I’m back to being happy. I can run around with the little one and I started playing football on a Tuesday night.
“I probably appear more confident because I’m pain-free and medication free, and I can actually sleep properly. I have a general sense of well-being now and am much more focused.”
