I'm Listening To People's Petty Relationship Deal-Breakers And Suddenly, Being Single Forever Sounds Like A Dream
Recently, I asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their most trivial relationship-ending stories. The results reminded me that we still haven't nailed our communication skills. I can see why so many wanted to remain anonymous. Proceed with caution:
1."Every time we kissed, he made sounds like he just ate the most delicious food ever. When I called him out on it he said he had no idea he was doing it. He couldn’t stop doing it. I couldn’t stay."
—Anonymous, 39
2."I have a large Mexican family. That means good and bad things. My first and second girlfriends in life were both also Mexican. When I was 18, my second girlfriend and I were at a family function of mine, and it was overwhelming. The next day, we were at a family function for her, and again, it was overwhelming for the same reasons. At that point, I didn't want to double the issues with having a large Mexican family. I wanted to halve them. I broke up with her that night."
—Anonymous, 52
3."I decided to end things when he, a vegetarian, told me his favorite 'veggie' was zucchini bread."
4."I had been exclusively dating this guy I was really into. He had it all. He was good-looking, smart, ambitious, and had a great body. We were at his apartment one night, and we decided to have food delivered instead of eating out. We both decided on wings. I told him it was getting late and they probably wouldn’t deliver. After about 45 minutes of waiting, they canceled our order. So by this time, I’m a little hangry. He offers to go pick up the food. I sent him my order. Wings and FRIES, with extra ranch. (The fries are my favorite from this particular restaurant; I am not a fan of the wings) He finally returned with our food, and I noticed he had been eating. I told him, 'You couldn’t wait, huh?' He said, 'No, I was really hungry, and those fries are good,' as he chomped down on a wing. I looked into the bag, and he had eaten all my fries. He didn’t order any for himself but ate all of mine. That was the last time I ever saw him."
—Anonymous, 41
5."An old co-worker told me she'd been dating a guy for three months, and when they went to her place for the first time, he discovered her male roommate. He ended it right there due to paranoid trust issues. He never even let her explain that her roommate was her brother."
6."She hated my jeans. I'm not even joking. Said they were too long for my body."
—Anonymous, 33
7."He’s 32 years old and had to ask his mom permission for everything."
8."I had some random guy from Facebook come over to my house, saying he was interested in me, and then he spent the night and never left. Do you know how uncomfortable it is when a guy comes over to your apartment or house and doesn't want to leave afterward because he thinks you’re in a relationship? Yikes."
9."He was open-minded — too much so. He's into metal music and wrestling, but I am not. We agreed we were too different, incompatible, and better off as friends."
—Anonymous, 31
10."She would eat food off my plate without asking first. I’d be happily eating away at a nice restaurant, and then all of a sudden, her fork would appear, and my food would disappear. If only she had asked first!"
—Anonymous, 64
11."I broke up with a guy for saying 'f*ck you' during a fight. My self-esteem was in the toilet for years, and I was trying hard to stand up for myself. I told him I don’t name-call during arguments, so I expected the same from him. He wanted to argue, so I said I'd walk if he couldn't accept my terms. He didn't, so I left. I'm with a different guy now. We both have made mistakes when tempers shoot up, but the blatant disrespect isn't there like it was with the other guy. I made him aware of my terms of no name-calling, and he accepted and hasn’t once defended his 'right' to disrespect me through petty names and expletives."
12."I was seeing this guy for a few weeks when I wore a perfume he liked. I mentioned it was from Victoria’s Secret, and when I saw him again, he handed me a 'present,' which was a thong from Victoria’s Secret. It was not my style, and he started losing points. The kicker? I returned it to the store, and they confirmed it was USED. They accepted the return, and I got a new (clean) pair for FREE. After that, I stopped returning his calls."
—Anonymous, 52
13."I legit got dumped on a MySpace message back in 2010 because he was scared he was gonna go to hell for thinking about sex before marriage yet acted as if things were perfectly fine the day before nor acknowledge any issues in the relationship, so it was completely random. Like, 'hey, yeah, it’s over. I don’t want to go to hell'…Yeah, okay."
—Anonymous, 36
14."He had visited me for a week (he lived in a different state). During that week, I left for a few hours to go to a friend's baby shower. I came back and was happier than I had been in weeks. That was the last straw for him. I got home, where he was watching TV and moody, barely wanting to talk to me. He was mad that I was happy without him, and he finally just asked if I wanted to break up. That was the quickest yes of my life and the best decision, too. He also claimed after that I had been 'asking for it' because of what I was wearing/not wearing when my AC was broken and thought I owed him sex because of that. I should have broken up with him sooner. Life lesson: if someone can’t be happy that you’re happy, they don't value you and aren't friends."
—Anonymous, 31
15."A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend of one week because she forgot his name… high school relationships. Amirite?"
—Anonymous, 16
16."I was a teen dating for the first time, and it was thrilling until he kissed me for the first time. His lips were pulled back, and he rubbed his wet inner lips all over mine with a little sloppy tongue, and that was the end of that. My first kiss was absolutely disgusting."
17."I dated a guy that I’d known throughout high school. We had both relocated for college and started dating. But he had to be loaded to be 'friendly' with me. It had red alert written all over it."
18."My husband told me he almost broke up with me a few months into dating because my cellphone reception was bad and it was too frustrating to talk on the phone (it was 2006 when texting cost extra and there were no smartphones)."
—Anonymous, 45
19."He didn’t like the way I parked my car. It was never straight enough for him."
—Anonymous, 65
20."In high school, I broke up with a guy because I didn't like how his feet looked. I felt horrible about it because we had a great friendship, but I couldn’t get over how ugly his feet were. Granted, I was young, but I always thought it was important to love every part of a person, even the parts you didn't like, and I couldn't do it. Now I’m married and love my husband's feet and every part of him. It sounded petty in high school, but sometimes you must pass for something better."
—Anonymous, 38
21."I was dating a guy who said the movie Mulan didn't have great music. I'm sorry, what? I made him watch it with me and admitted the music was undeniably amazing, and then I broke up with him shortly after that."
—Anonymous, 37
22."He didn’t know when World War II took place."
—Anonymous, 35
23."His car broke down. At the time, I was working a physically demanding job that required me to travel. I was on rotation in Mississippi (we lived in Michigan) when he called me, nearly sobbing because his car had broken down. I asked some of my coworkers what they thought it could be; everyone asked him if there was gas in it. I lost so much respect for him in that instant. I realized how helpless he was without me and how one-sided our relationship was. When I got back from my rotation, he asked me to cosign a loan for him, and I noped right out of there."
—Anonymous, 28
24."When I had to hang up on her during a conversation because I had to deal with an emergency, she sent me a picture of herself holding a machine gun in front of a human silhouette target with the chest shot out. Even though the picture was taken at a shooting range, I never called her again."
—Anonymous, 54 (when it happened)
25."I got unexpectedly broken up with because 'sometimes when we hang out, you ask if you are talking too much, and sometimes you are, and I don’t know what to say.' That's right. I was checking in to ensure I didn't monopolize the conversation, but they didn’t know how to respond when I asked. We had been together for over a year, and they were training to be a therapist, so they knew the importance of communication."
—Anonymous, 65
26."I saw him eating his boogers. Enough said."
—Anonymous, 59
27."I made myself lunch for the next day while talking to him in the kitchen. The next morning, it was gone. He took my lunch because 'he didn’t know I made it for myself.' At that moment, I realized it was always that way. He did not care if he took from me and would continue to do it the rest of our lives. I noped right out of there!"
—Anonymous, 65
28."I started dating the father of one of my son's friends. He was attractive, and I enjoyed his company, but he said, 'They was.' We would have a lovely conversation, and then that would come out of his mouth. Inwardly, I would flinch, mentally correct him, and try to regain the conversation thread. A couple of times, I visibly cringed, prompting him to ask if I was okay. Finally, I ended it. I knew at some point I would start screaming, 'WERE, THEY WERE! SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT!!!' When I told him I couldn't see him anymore, he asked why. I was honest. I admitted it was a very petty reason, but I just couldn't get past it."
—Anonymous, 65
29."She called me 15 times while I was in the shower."
—Anonymous, 38
30."Because I texted 'k' in response to his text. He said he had something to do that Saturday and that we could go out another day. I texted back 'k,' as in OK, I’m good with that. Well, he wasn’t. Turns out he thought I was too emotionally detached. In hindsight, it was the best ‘k’ I ever texted. With all I had put up with from him, physical detachment should’ve happened much sooner than it did."
—Anonymous, 45
31.And finally, "After two months of seeing each other and multiple dinner dates, he still didn’t realize I was vegetarian. He brought a meal prep kit over for 'Baked Chicken and Rice' to 'make us dinner.'"
—Anonymous, 30
What was the most trivial reason for a breakup you or a friend were involved in? Comment below!
