3 expert tips to stop waking up in the middle of the night – from a sleep physiologist
Waking up in the night is frustrating – and it's made even worse when you can't get back to sleep.
As a health editor who prides herself on great sleep but recently has spent the hours of 3-5am lying in bed wide awake, I've been looking for answers on what's causing my mid-night wake up.
If you're experiencing this, firstly know it can be normal. But if it keeps happening and you, like me, find yourself staring at the ceiling in my dark room for hours until you eventually got back to snooze, you're likely looking for why it's happening and how to stop.
Is it normal to wake up in the middle of the night?
Stephanie Romiszewski, sleep physiologist and founder at Sleepyhead Clinic and re:sleep, is clear on this: it's very normal to wake up in the night.
'Not every stage of sleep is the same,' she says. We start our sleep cycles awake, before falling into a light sleep, then into REM (rapid eye movement) and finally deep sleep. As the cycle reverses, it makes sense that we have moments of wakefulness before restarting the process.
'In the lighter stages of sleep, any environmental changes, for instance a lorry driving past, might wake you up,' says Stephanie.
'In a sleep study we would see many arousals in a normal sleeper. It's highly unusual to see no arousal in a good sleeper. Most people don’t remember these micro-wake-ups.
'Your body is in a constantly changing and moving state of being (hormones, illness, ageing) – your sleep, for the most part, is very good at ebbing and flowing to keep up with these changes, and sometimes that means a sleep break - again, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong or that we need to fix it.'
Why do you wake up in the middle of the night?
Sleep cycle
The most likely reason you're waking up in the night is because of your natural sleep cycle. You shouldn't notice these wake-ups, but if they are flagged on a wearable or sleep tracker, don't stress out: they're totally normal.
Stress
'I think stress is the most common reason people think they wake up. Sometimes, especially on the odd occasion of remembering wake-ups or if your sleep is fairly good most of the time, this can be true,' says Stephanie.
Chronic stress can cause hormonal changes that influence our sleep. But the likely reason you stay awake at night when you're stressed is because your mind starts stirring the second it's awake. Going back to sleep is then much harder when you're thinking about emails, family or other stress.
Sleep habits
'In most cases of a pattern of waking up, some key behaviours that we do around our sleep and our expectations of sleep make it far worse,' says Stephanie.
'For instance, if you know you've been stressed or had a hard day, you might alter your sleep schedules to ‘catch up’ or get more sleep. Inconsistent wake times also play a part in waking up in the night.
'Relying on sleep hacks and aids and becoming overly ritualistic or obsessive with them unfortunately also tends to move us away from a good sleep baseline and make it more sensitive, disrupted and chronically broken.'
How to go back to sleep in the middle of the night
'If your sleep baseline is strong and you have realistic expectations of your sleep, it's likely you will drift off again without having to do much. However, you cannot force your sleep until your body feels you have had enough wake time to build up a strong drive to sleep again,' says Stephanie.
That means accepting our times of wakefulness and doing relaxing activities until we feel ready to sleep again. That doesn't have to mean getting up at 2am to do a yoga flow – for me, the thing that's worked is, rather than lying there irritated, I pick up my Kindle and read. Sometimes its takes 45 minutes to feel myself drifting off again, but I eventually get back to sleep. And it's a good distraction from my stressful thoughts running wild.
'If nighttime wake ups are becoming a chronic problem,' says Stephanie, 'you can work on your sleep as a whole by focusing on behaviours that impact your two sleep mechanisms – the sleep drive and the 24-hour cycle your sleep is regulated by, the circadian rhythm.
'It's less sexy than a magic trick like a quick breathing exercise, supplement or "technique" but it is more likely to work. It requires you to work on your sleep as a whole rather than fixating on particular nights and as humans we really struggle with that less-specific idea.
'However, think of it like brushing your teeth. We are pretty good at is brushing our teeth to avoid problems, as there is no way you can avoid rotten teeth the day before the rot or after the fact. We need to start thinking of longterm sleep protocols, rather than fixing sleep when we notice problems.'
Sleep tips to avoid nighttime wake ups
There are things you can do before bed to ensure you get a proper good night's sleep with no disruptive chunks of awakeness.
Avoid bed
'Only go to bed when you're actually sleepy,' says Stephanie. While you may want to get into bed early to increase the likelihood of a long sleep, associating your mattress with stimulating activities can make sleep more confusing for your brain and body.
Instead, wait until you feel yourself getting close to sleep before tucking yourself in.
Reduce light exposure
'Get bright light exposure in the morning (it can be artificial) and maintain as much as possible throughout the day. Then make a good contrast by significantly lowering your light exposure in the evening,' says Stephanie.
Turning off the main light and opting for softer lamps, getting off your phone and avoiding other light sources are the best way to do this.
Avoid daytime activities
'In the evening, if you can't sleep, enjoy resting. It’s the next best thing. But do this in an evening environment, so no work, no bright lights, no daytime activities, no food and drink. Just think of it as chill time,' says Stephanie.
'Try the above for two weeks very consistently without giving up, and then reflect on your sleep. If it's better, carry on. If it's not, it’s a sign the broken nature is more engrained and you need a bit of extra support, so contact your GP an experienced sleep specialist.'
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