18 Times Moms Tweeted Things That Could Be Comedy Sketch Gold
1.This mom who knows how to handle people who need to mind their own business:
(I am 6 months pregnant)Me after ordering my coffee: Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant.Me: I’m... not pregnant. Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry!And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.
2. This mom who taught her kids to always be smart before they take on any risky behaviors:
My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) June 20, 2021
3. This mom who has a handy little trick for deciding if she wants a certain hairstyle or not:
I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 14, 2021
4. This mom who lives in the moment, allowing her kids freedom of expression:
My 6yo is chanting all the words that rhyme with sucker and this is going to end badly in about 3 seconds
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 29, 2024
5. And this mom who does the same, except she knows when to really interject:
Me: “Come here” is spelled C-O-M-E not C-U-MMy kid: Does it really matter how I spell it?Me: Yes!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 27, 2024
6. This mom who walks through life giving nods to the people who interact with her kids:
Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 22, 2021
7. This mom who is probably about to write a book titled "Quotes from My 4-Year-Old":
*Kidzbop song plays*my 4yo: they were 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 to say "fuck"
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 6, 2021
8. And this mom who could also write the same kind of book:
“Do you think in heaven you can pee anywhere you want?” My daughter, asking the big questions
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 26, 2024
9. This mom who, bless her soul, is the best parent ever:
been searching for my 4 year old’s dog who is lost somewhere in this house. her… imaginary dog. we still haven’t found him. she’s crying. pic.twitter.com/Y09wJ7LIQT
— g e e. (@geesweetyeeks) October 17, 2021
10. This mom who knows true frustration:
I would like to officially apologize to my toddler for cutting her left pancake before I cut her right pancake, I don’t know what I was thinking
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 24, 2021
11. This mom who needs to host a class on how to get your kids to respect you:
My 5yo asked if she could have a brownie and I started to say no cause it was too close to dinner and she said, “please your highness”. So I asked her where that came from and she said matter of factly, “cause you’re my Queen.” So anyway, she’s now having brownies for dinner.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) October 18, 2021
12. This mom who is just hilariously right:
great now my kids think they come from billboards in the woods pic.twitter.com/cCpe4ygLl1
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 3, 2021
13. This mom who is down to create this fantasy scheme for her kid:
My kid lost a tooth and plans to put it under her pillow tonight so the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy can meet and hopefully make a love connection and I am HERE FOR IT
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 3, 2021
14.This mom who is hanging on by a thread:
Looking to update my kitchen decor, but I can’t decide between a country chic curtain for above the sink or a giant banner that says RINSE YOUR DAMN PLATE
15. This mom who is raising a kid who stands up for themselves:
I asked my 6yo “aren’t you gonna help me plant flowers” and she said “oh mommy I would love to do that except that I don’t want to”
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 5, 2021
16. This mom who knows nothing kids say is surprising:
*Middle of dinner*My kid: Can I have a snack?
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 5, 2021
17.This mom who took one for the team so now moms everywhere know not to get butterfly tattoos on their lower hips:
When I was 18 I thought it would be cute to get a butterfly tattoo on my lower hip but after 6 c-sections it looks like a sad moth in a top hat.
18. And finally, this mom who knew it was her duty to continue the cycle of always turning to her mom — no matter what age she is.
The 8yo disrupted my sleep again, so I texted my mom at 2AM to ask when it stops.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 2, 2021
