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10 Tips On How To Leave A WhatsApp Group

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[Photo: REX/Shutterstock]

God bless Whatsapp, that handy little messaging service that allows us to keep in touch with groups of friends, family and acquaintances.

If you’re anything like me you’ll have a long list of groups on the go, from family chats to secret splinter groups to sporadic conversations with classmates and co-workers to that old discussion set up for NYE 2014 that just refuses to die.

Whether a group has died a death, is boring the socks off you or you’re a tidy freak who likes a clean inbox, we’ve got some sweet tips on how to neaten up your chat list without committing any social faux pas.

1. Just leave

It’s exactly like that ancient philosophical riddle: ‘If a tree falls out of a WhatsApp group and it can’t hear the forest bitching, should it give a sh*t?’ If you want to leave a WhatsApp group, just leave. Those suckers ain’t the boss of you!

2. Change the group name

Changing the name of the group can liven things up and inspire banter. Titles like ‘Emily’s Tits’ or ‘Ben’s Ballsack’ always go down a treat.

3. Throw a leaving do

Announce to the group you’re planning to leave, set a time for a party and invite all members to bring their best emojis.

4. Get friendly with the mute setting

Didn’t know about muting WhatsApp chats? Let me explain: muting means you won’t leave a group but you’ll no longer be alerted to any new messages. Simply select the irksome group in question, tap on the Subject and hit Mute. You can hush these fools up from between eight hours to one year.

5. Be a fake ghost

Secretly ghost that WhatsApp party by turning off group notifications. This tutorial will help you virtually float out of conversations without alerting others but also leaves you free to haunt those bores any time you please.

6. Blame it on the data

Lingering WhatsApp groups can take up valuable storage on your phone. Users who wish to follow step one but need a conscience-easing digital alibi may refer to the following script:

Friend: Why did you leave the WhatsApp chat?

You: The internet told me to do it because of storage or whatever.

7. Consciously uncouple

Don’t make any contribution to the group apart from “I am consciously uncoupling from this chat.” Do it for a few days then leave. They can’t say you didn’t warn them.

8. Sing your way to liberty

Keep sending voice clips of yourself singing songs about leaving really badly until someone actually asks you to leave.

9. Pretend you deleted WhatsApp

If you want to leave but you’re too lame to admit it just say you deleted WhatsApp. It’s a lie. On your conscience be it.

10. Actually just delete WhatsApp

Have a social media cleanse and just delete the damn thing if it’s doing your head in that much.

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