"Nothing Has Made Me Feel More Intimately Connected": People Are Revealing The Wildy Intimate Things Couples Can Do For Their Partners That Don't Involve Sex
While having a healthy sex life might be high on some couples' lists, showing other forms of intimacy is important, too. So when Reddit user DarkHeart9158 asked: "What is something you see as intimate that is not sex?" a lot of people shared their thoughts. Here's what they said below:
1."My partner was really unwell and had been in bed sick for a week and on medication. She was really uneasy and couldn't walk without being dizzy. To help her wash, I put a chair in the shower and washed her myself. I learned how to use shampoo and conditioner on YouTube (I've always shaved my head, so I just used the 27-in-1 man shower stuff). Despite a disproportionate amount of breast washing, she said she was 50/50 on crying or being incredibly aroused by the experience and said it was off-the-charts intimate watching me care for her and gently wash all of her. Gents, the unrestricted boob time was substantial."
2."Curveball here, but talking about the stuff you don't like. Being vulnerable and walking into potential conflicts with the understanding that it will bring you closer and not create more problems. Nothing has made me feel more intimately connected (nonsexually) than having a tough conversation and feeling more understood and heard — or being understanding and talking about how to support the things spoken about."
"It's so freeing to know that you can grow together and that hard times will not be an uncrossable rift between you. Trusting in someone's love that much is scary and so rewarding."
3."When they remember something I said or something about me."
4."Cuddling, forehead kisses, deep talk somewhere outside at night."
—None
5."Consistent contact, hand placements, and eye contact. I find it very sexy when they know how to appreciate the body without undressing them. I had this ex who would hold my hands and caress my fingernails, and sometimes, he'd play with my hair and he'd pinch my shoulders gently when we were very engaged in a conversation. And he'd always want our shoes touching when we were somewhere sitting. And when he looks, it's very deep and mellow. We were so in love that I don't know what happened for us to end."
6."Taking time to compliment each other and remind them of how loved and appreciated they are."
7."Massages, back massage are the most intimate nonsexual thing."
8."My wife cuts my hair, and it always feels intimate and comforting to me in a totally nonsexual way, perhaps some old primate brain grooming instinct."
—None
9."My wife and I have a lot of private jokes and phrases that only we would understand."
10."I was surprised to learn lately that cooking for someone is considered intimate."
11."Cuddling on the sofa under a blanket petting the cat and sharing nachos."
12."My girlfriend has alopecia and thus is completely bald. I'm the only person she trusts to touch her head. I love to massage it for her, and it puts her to sleep."
—mmss
13."When a man tucks a stray hair behind my ear. It felt so intimate I was convinced I was going to die."
14."Sharing music."
"This 100% for me. If I'm sharing music with you it's because I care about you and what you think of said music."
15."Reading a book together."
16."My wife and I like to just exist in the same space. Somehow, it always causes one of us to just end up staring in appreciation of the other. I think love is what creates intimacy in non-sexual acts. Something about her being in my local space makes everything more intimate."
17."Showering together."
"My husband and I shower together all the time. It’s when we have some of our best conversations."
18."Being naked together but not cuddling, just casually naked together."
19."Sitting on the couch with the other person’s head in your lap. It makes me feel so content and so loved."
"It’s the best, especially on one of those L-shaped couches; you sit in the corner, legs extended on one part of the L, and they lay on the other part of the L with their head on your lap. I like to stroke my boyfriend’s hair when he lays on me like that. When I lay on him like that, I usually lay on my back and stare up at him."
20."I didn't like it at first, but my former love conditioned me to enjoy sitting on the same side of a booth when at a diner or restaurant together, and I so miss it. He also would prep the coffee for me when he had to go to work before me, so all I had to do was press start when I got up."
21."Painting my wife’s toes. I don’t even have a foot thing, but I just like talking to her while showing her how much she means to me. We've been married for almost 23 years."
22."When my now-husband and I first started living together, I worked two jobs (1st and 3rd), and he worked a long 3rd. We would only see each other for a couple of hours in passing and try to make the best out of it. We would write notes back and forth (ranging from 'remember the mundane grocery item we need' to expressing our love for one another) and also started playing games like tic-tac-toe and hangman. It was the highlight of my day. I've kept all of them, even seven years later. A physical handwritten note that I can hold onto forever is a truly intimate experience!"
23."Helping each other dress and get ready for a date night. And I don’t mean like helping her with her panties; I mean zipping the back of her dress while she’s holding her hair up. Strapping her shoes and helping her fasten a bracelet. That just does something to me, leading to a great date night."
Is there a particular thing that you see as intimate that isn't just sex? Tell us what it is and why in the comments below.
