This woman’s text message is exactly how you can show up for a friend who just had a baby
When a friend has a new baby, what’s the best thing you can offer them? Cameron Rogers, host of the “Conversations With Cam” podcast, didn’t know the answer until after she had her first baby. And now she’s sharing how she reaches out to her postpartum friends.
“I realized I hadn’t properly supported my postpartum friends,” she told Today.com. “I gave them baby gifts, but what they needed was for me to show up for them. It’s one of those things that you don’t understand until you’re in it yourself. You have no idea what they’re going through.”
Rogers recently shared a video on social media explaining how now, as a mom of two, she knows exactly what to offer to her postpartum friends.
“I get asked a lot, what is the best gift you can give someone postpartum,” she explained in the clip. “The number one thing is always food, but this is my number two.”
Then, a text message she sends to her postpartum friends appeared on the screen, reading, “Good morning love! I am yours from the hours of 12 to 3 tomorrow so please let me know how you would like to use me. Here are some options.”
It went on to list some things Rogers offered to do for her friend, including, “I come while you hang with the baby and I do laundry, bottles, cooking, buy and put away groceries,” “I come and take care of the baby while you sleep in your room alone or you go do something by yourself or you guys go out to lunch the two of you without the baby,” and “I come and take you out to lunch with or without the baby.”
The last option was “We sit on the couch and just chat or watch a funny movie with the baby.” Rogers ended the text with, “You can decide whenever you want just let me know!”
Rogers told Today.com that one exhausted new mom friend chose option 2 and “she napped for four uninterrupted hours.”
If you’re wondering what to do for postpartum moms, the key to this text is giving the friend a variety of specific choices.
“When you’re in that newborn bubble and someone asks, ‘How can I help?’ You’re going to have analysis paralysis. It’s, like, where do I even begin?” she explained. Hint: This also works great when you want to help out a friend going through any other stressful time, like a period of loss or grief.
The video was inundated with comments from grateful parents — and friends.
“As someone with no kids now, but with friends who have kids, and I’m sure more to come, THANK YOU,” one commenter wrote.
People also had great suggestions for items to add to the option list.
“Loooooove this. One other option that I would have loved postpartum is a friend to come over and watch the baby while I shower/get ready and then take cute pics of me and baby together,” one commented.
Another added, “I also always wished someone would walk our German shepherd for us! I was healing so I couldn’t and my husband was busy helping take care of me and baby and toddler.”
