Woman 'Demoted' from Maid of Honor Role Days Before Best Friend's Wedding After Argument About Unexpected Expenses

After her best friend "demoted" her from maid of honor following an argument about finances, a woman decided to skip the ceremony altogether.

“Where to even begin with this,” the woman kicked off a Feb. 1 Reddit post in which she vented about the situation. The original poster (OP) went on to explain that she was asked to be the maid of honor in her friend’s wedding about a year ago, and prefaced the post by revealing that she is “a college student still,” and the bride just graduated in December 2024.

So far, since accepting her maid of honor duties, the OP has accompanied the bride-to-be to her dress fitting, attended her bridal shower, planned her bachelorette party and written a wedding speech. She also “paid for her bridal gift and partially paid for her at the bachelorette,” she wrote.

Fast forward to a week before the wedding, which was originally scheduled for Feb. 1, and the bride sprung another charge on the OP. She said "we were required" to pay $150 for "our own hair and makeup," and that the maid of honor had to spend $40 on a hotel "the night before the wedding."

"This was all told to me the week before, or last week,” she said, explaining that she “had a problem with this and asked [the bride] if I could simply stay at my place the night before and wake up early to head over to the venue or hotel.”

Related: Wedding Guest Invited to Ceremony and Reception — but Not the Dinner in Between: 'I Didn't Know What to Make of It'

The maid of honor wasn’t equipped to pay for the unexpected expenses — she was "low on funds," with only a $240 paycheck and about $300 in her bank account — and expressed this openly. The pair attempted to hash things out over the phone, and the bride took a "very frustrated tone," the OP said.

“I explained to her that my mom is a wedding planner and that typically the hair and makeup is optional or if it's not it's paid for entirely by the bride's family. I also explained to her that I was going to have to ask my parents for money because of it,” the OP wrote. The bride’s response: “I know it's uncomfortable, but I would do it for you.”

“In my head,” the OP wrote, “the difference was that I would not have required her to pay the hair and makeup fee in order to be part of my wedding.”

The maid of honor tried to meet in the middle — paying for just hair and doing DIY makeup “as similar as possible to the other girls” — but the bride declined. “Are you paying the [$150] or not?” she allegedly asked.

Related: Bride's Daughter, 28, Wants to Skip Mother's Wedding Because She Disapproves of Groom: ‘Don’t Want Him in My Life’

A couple days after their confrontation about wedding costs, the bride reached out to set up a call. She told the OP that she had “reconsidered” her request, but proceeded to drop a bomb, saying “she thought it was best that I wasn't maid of honor anymore because I sounded stressed and busy on the phone.”

"Obviously, this hurt my feelings and I was in complete shock,” the OP wrote, “as I had not indicated that I was stressed with anything but money. She said she had discussed with the mother-in-law and others who told her there were more responsibilities to being maid of honor, such as cleaning up afterward. I then responded that I was fine with doing that, but if she did not want me as maid of honor anymore that she was entitled to that.”

The bride went on to say that the pair were “still good friends” and she was excited to spend time with her at the wedding. The OP, meanwhile, “was shocked and confused.”

Related: Bride’s Family Won’t Attend Ceremony Because It’s Not in a Catholic Church: ‘Ruined the Wedding’

“Later on, I realized that that was not ok to do to someone who you consider your best friend,” the OP wrote. So she said in a text that she did not think the bride was “being truthful with the real reason she demoted” her from maid of honor.

“She responded a couple of hours before the rehearsal dinner and said that there was stuff that had happened over the past couple of days which made her think that was the best decision for her wedding,” the OP said, and responded “that I was not present over those past couple of days.”

The bride said, “I understand,” and the OP “did not attend her wedding." To the OP at least, it “sounded like [the bride] didn't want me there at all after the call we had discussing finances,” she concluded her post. “I am utterly confused and hurt. Is this normal behavior and who else has had a similar experience?"

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In response, Reddit users left messages of support for the OP and her choice to ultimately skip the ceremony. “I’m glad you chose not to attend the wedding,” one top comment read. “This doesn’t sound like a friend at all.”

“Weddings bring out the worst in some people. I'm so sorry she ended up being a s----- friend,” a user wrote, while another echoed, “I don’t think she’s a friend. You deserve better.”

“Sounds like you dodged a bullet OP,” the commenter added. "But I’m sorry you had to get hurt to find out."

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