Woman Bans Her Brother's Girlfriend from Family Christmas Photo, Says It's Because 'It's a Family Tradition'
She claims that the girlfriend can only be added to the yearly tradition if they get engaged
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Family arguing (stock photo)A woman is at odds with her brother about an annual family tradition — and whether his girlfriend should be included.
In a post on Reddit about her holiday dilemma, she explains, “Every year, my family takes a Christmas photo that we send out to relatives and friends. It’s been a long-standing tradition to include only immediate family members — my parents, siblings, and me.”
This year, her 28-year-old brother asked if his girlfriend could be included, too. The poster notes that he's been dating the woman, 27, for eight months. “While I really like his girlfriend and think she’s great, I told him it’s a family tradition to only include immediate family,” she writes. New people are only added to the photo once they are “engaged or married.”
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Two people arguing (stock photo)When she explained that to her brother, she writes, “He got upset and said it’s unfair, especially since she’s spending Christmas with us and will feel excluded.” Her parents said the decision is up to her since she is the one who “usually” organizes the photo. “My brother, however, feels like I’m gatekeeping a tradition that should evolve, while I feel like I’m just sticking to how we’ve always done things,” she concludes, before asking commenters to weigh in.
The commenters are split. One person wrote, “Honestly, your brother’s girlfriend might just need to take a number and wait for the family photo express! Eight months? That's like a warm-up lap in the marathon of family traditions.”
Another commenter could relate. They wrote, “My sister insists that her boyfriend be in every photo so now we have hundreds of pictures from different events all with her wrapped around a different guy. It’s annoying and embarrassing having to explain.”
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Family arguing at Christmas (stock photo)One person wondered if there was a deeper issue. “Just keep in mind the stricter a tradition becomes the more of a chore it becomes,” they wrote. "What starts out as fun can turn into a forced obligation. What is it you're really clinging to here?”
But one of the most common solutions was to take two photos. “No one ever wants to feel excluded on the holiday especially if she is the only person made to sit out on the photos,” one person explained. “My cousins do the same for Thanksgiving but they take one photo of everyone who shared in their favorite holiday.”
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“Don't make a mountain out of a molehill,” another person warned. “Just take two photos: one she is in and one she isn't. Your brother is happy because he gets his Christmas family photo with his girlfriend and you are happy because you get your Christmas family photo only with immediate family members.”
But others defended the original poster. “He's been dating this girl for less than a year. She's not a family member, and you value the tradition you have of taking the photo,” one person wrote. “Tell him when he marries this girl, they can start taking their own family photos with the two of them together.”
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