Why you should stop setting New Year's resolutions
As the last New Year’s Eve firework fades, we come back to Earth, but a reality check may be good for goal-getting. Here’s how to form habits that won’t slip in one year and out the other.
1. Be realistic
There’s a reason we roll out the same resolutions year after year. ‘The pressure to set these resolutions can drive us to aim for drastic changes,’ says Abby Rawlinson, integrative therapist and author of Reclaiming You: Your Therapy Toolkit For Life’s Twists And Turns (Penguin, £17). ‘As a result, we often set unrealistic goals.’ By moving away from this mindset, she says, we can focus on setting more targets that are easier to achieve and maintain.
2. Think short-term
A year’s a long time; instead, think in months, weeks or days. ‘This can help you break down objectives into manageable steps, creating a framework for growth,’ adds Rawlinson. Next, make them ‘smart – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound’, says clinical psychologist Dr Kevin Chapman. Take the goal of creating more joy: ‘I want to be happier’ isn’t smart, but ‘I will engage in social activities three times per week’ is.
3. Prepare for setbacks
When it comes to goal-setting, realism trumps rigid – the latter sets you up for self-criticism. Not only will setting realistic goals allow you to focus on progress, it also helps you swerve future-oriented anxiety. ‘Without judgment, you’re more likely to remain committed and motivated, without being weighed down by feelings of guilt,’ notes Rawlinson. A relaxed attitude makes it easier to navigate setbacks, too.
‘Rather than thinking failure isn’t an option, you see it aspart of the process,’ adds Dr Chapman. ‘As a result, you’re more open to learning from mistakes and consolidating new knowledge.’
4. Go with the flow
Flexibility: it’s not just for yogis. Embrace fluid goals over year-long resolutions and you’ll be more adaptable when life is life-ing. ‘By allowing yourself to pivot, you can set goals aligned with your reality, rather than sticking to plans that no longer serve you,’ says Rawlinson. Flexibility is a key component of both emotional intelligence and stress resilience, helping you handle unpredictability with greater ease.
The need to be fluid is another reason to keep goals short-term, too. ‘Shorter-term aims keep motivation high and allow for regular check-ins, giving you the flexibility to adjust your goals as needed,’adds Rawlinson.
5. Stay in the moment
Abandoning rigid resolutions often leads to a more present mindset. ‘Without distant, fixed goals, you can tune into your immediate needs and feelings,’ says Rawlinson. ‘This shift encourages you to ask,“How am I doing right now?”and “What do I need today?”.’ In short: it helps you set goals for who you are right now, not who you were months ago. Being in the present moment also serves as a reminder to (whisper it) enjoy yourself.
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