Warts ’n’ Hall: Why runners are the best, and worst, of friends
I was reflecting recently that running friends are bad friends. In fact, they can be inconsiderate enablers. Firstly, they’re bad for ruining perfectly good lie-ins. Agreeing to meet them for a run means you definitely do get out of the door when actually you really don’t fancy it at all now and would rather stay in bed/on the warm sofa watching Kilian Jornet YouTube videos. Selfish. Secondly, I want to run on my own! Because essentially I’m a total badass, Lone Wolf. A bit like Clint Eastwood but with very muddy shoes on and smelling a lot less civilised. Yet if either of my two local jogging pals, Alex and Ben, WhatsApp me about going for a run, I join them, really enjoy their company (we almost exclusively talk about running), realise I DO like running with others, and that smashes my fantasy self-image into a thousand tiny pieces. Inconsiderate. Thirdly, they can be a very bad influence. I’ve belatedly realised almost all the toughest races and challenges I’ve ever done have started as ideas from my running “friends”. Enablers.
Hmm. So I guess, when I really think about it, running friends are actually very brilliant. A run is a precious thing. Some me time, an expression of freedom. So there’s always a tiny bit of reluctance to share a run. But paradoxically I’ve never regretted it. Running friends help get me out the door on the deepest darkest January mornings. And they’re the only people interested in my failed attempts at Strava Segments or whether a 6mm drop is better than an 8mm drop.
As therapists who take their clients outdoors for better quality conversations know, there’s just something about being in nature and exercising that frees up our inhibitions and gets us to the truth quicker. I’ve certainly had more honest, meaningful and just plain better conversations on runs than perhaps anywhere else ever. I’ve revealed more and listened more.
Running chums are special. It feels like there’s no real commitment with them. You don’t have to get dressed up for an occasion, arrange a babysitter, there’s no bill to split. They’re fuss-free friends, the best type. When I think about it, I’m not sure I have any non-runner friends – shudder (remember them?) – left.
Running is such a great leveller, like being back in the playground. It doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are, whether you vote Labour or the selfish greedy ones. We’re all just runners. In fact, I’ve occasionally been very surprised upon realising a runner has very different political views to mine. I’d naively assumed we had the exact same values because we’re into the exact same thing: running. But oddly it didn’t seem to matter. Because they’re a running buddy: the best – and worst – type of friend.
Types of running friend
The Frenemy: the one who’s both a close friend and bitter rival.
The Flake: the one who promises to run with you but always cancels.
The Enabler: the one who encourages you to sign up to ill-advised races.
The Compass: the one who insists on navigating – and getting you both lost.
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