I visited a luxury wellness resort with my midlife mother – the impact was transformative

Anna and Daisy Pasternak
Mother and daughter Anna and Daisy Pasternak took a break from their mobile phones in Thailand

Daisy’s side of the story

My friends find it strange that, at the age of 21, I continue to reject their offers of Interrailing around Europe or hostel-hopping in the Far East to travel, instead, with my midlife mother. While I watch from Instagram as they “do Thailand”; staying in cheap hostels, scoffing plates of greasy pad Thai and drinking buckets of vodka at full moon parties, I chose to go on an alcohol-, sugar- and caffeine-free holiday with my eccentric mum. Over the years, we have done “fasting for Christmas” and “chakra balancing” in Cyprus, but never a full seven days of cold-turkey digital detox. Until now.

Our destination was Thai holistic wellness centre Chiva-Som, a three-hour drive south of Bangkok. Set in the busy and rather ugly seaside town of Hua Hin, the resort feels special; a true sanctuary. It’s high luxe, with individual Pilates reformer classes and every health amenity imaginable. There is a vast swimming pool overlooking the beach, and a strict no-mobile policy in public areas. You aren’t allowed to be on your phone by the pool, nor are you allowed to take photographs. Influencers are strictly verboten.

I have always believed that I am not obsessed with my phone. However, like most addicts, I quickly realised I was in denial. During the first few days, I’d reach to check it as soon as I woke up, only to be reminded that it was not there. Whilst this phone-less existence was, of course, healthier – and, yes, did eventually make me happier – there were many moments when I was frustrated to be left alone with myself all the time, with no distractions from the outside world. Sometimes I’d catch myself looking at the Instagrammable view, pining to be sipping cocktails with my friends.

Chi Nei Tsang at Chiva-Som
Chi Nei Tsang is a Thai abdominal massage that is used to rejuvenate our internal organs

But gradually, these feelings subsided, and I warmed ever more to the detox ethos. Perhaps it’s the years I spent at an all-girls boarding school, but the experience at Chiva-Som only helped to confirm that I no longer have any interest in getting drunk, overindulging in sugar or sleeping in uncomfortable dorms – be they in a school boarding house or a Thai hostel.

Instead, I want to feel well and healthy. At the resort, I had lymphatic drainage and Chi Nei Tsang (a traditional Thai abdominal massage that rejuvenates the internal organs), which together shifted the eternal bloat around my stomach, while a Deep Blue Cleanse facial blitzed embedded blackheads in my T-Zone. I ate organic, low-calorie food (fish, meat, grains, pulses, healthy breads and oils – even tiramisu), and found for once I didn’t struggle with my usual detoxing hunger, anger and existential worries. I left fitter, slimmer and energised, truly believing that a life of wellness trumps a life of “fun”.

Anna’s side of the story

Anna Pasternak in Thailand
Anna: ‘I never travel with a mobile phone. For me, the digital disconnect is sacred’

The modern world is too noisy for me. My constant bleating refrain is “please can you turn the music down?”. I loathe piped music in hotel lifts and lobbies. Poolside bars blaring beats when I want to listen to the sea feels like an assault. I’m equally depressed by holiday pool-side scenes; people prancing around taking selfies or hearing their mind-numbing prattle as they are glued to their mobiles. I never travel with a mobile phone. For me, the digital disconnect is sacred.

I regularly fly halfway across the world to escape the tyranny of the mobile phone. What I respect about Chiva-Som is that this is one of the rare places that actually takes the digital detox as seriously as I do. This unique destination spa was way ahead of its time when it opened 30 years ago. I first went in 2003, before the mania of mobile addiction, and every time I return, I am more impressed by an establishment that resolutely sticks to its health principles – however counter-cultural.

The condition of Daisy joining me at my mecca of mindfulness was that she wasn’t allowed her phone – and I was surprised by how readily she ditched it, and how quickly we both found relief in not being constantly plugged in. We stayed in adjoining garden villas – swish and spacious Thai pavilions – where we would leave each other notes saying “I’ve gone to yoga” or “meet you at supper”, because we couldn’t text.

Thai pavillion suite at Chiva-Som
Chiva-Som’s Thai pavilions offers space and silence

The benefit of being at this health sanctuary is that the days whizz happily by as they are full of classes – yoga, Tai Chi, pilates and all manner of holistic treatments – so Daisy and I didn’t spend enough time together to get tetchy. Instead, we rediscovered our love of yoga – meeting for the 8am class, then rushing to breakfast together. Often, we wouldn’t see each other until lunch or supper. Then, without the distraction of even reading a newspaper, our conversations became meaningful. I began to fully understand the pressure that Gen Z are under with their constant Insta-comparison lifestyles, really listening to her point of view, rather than my usual “get-a-grip” eye rolls.

For both of us, the highlight was not just how beautiful this small, manicured resort is with its swishing banana leaves and bursts of bougainvillea; or the joy of the outstandingly original food – it was how soulful it felt in the rare peaceful silence. It was the opportunity to listen to the waves, together, and just be.

Essentials

Healing Holidays (020 3372 6945) can arrange a five-night stay from £3,999 per person (based on two sharing), including flights, transfers, full board accommodation, daily fitness activities, a daily massage and a cash credit to spend on extra treatments.