Vanessa Feltz has opened up about her "shock and sadness" after announcing her break-up with her partner of 16 years.
The TV star, 60, revealed yesterday in a shock Instagram video that she had split with Ben Ofoedu, 50, following allegations of infidelity.
Now, writing in her new Daily Express column, the mother-of-two said: “I was very much hoping to do a Derby and Joan till death do us part. So you find me, shall we simply say, ‘discombobulated’?
“Sixteen years is a creditably long relationship and the shock when you have to end it is pretty seismic."
Feltz continued: “The whole thing being played out publicly doesn’t help. I’m human and the naked ape likes to lick its wounds behind closed doors.
“I can tell you this though: even in those scary silent hours before dawn the survival instinct kicks in with a vengeance.
“I will not let the shock and sadness write me off. I will celebrate my birthday in a couple of weeks. I will cuddle my grandbabies, hit the town with my incredible girlfriends and I will, I fear, go on to make many more mistakes.
“As the legendary Chumbawamba sang: ‘I get knocked down but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down!'”
Feltz met Ofoedu, a singer for Phats & Small, in 2005 through Boyzone star Keith Duffy who she had appeared alongside on Celebrity Big Brother in 2001.
Prior to that, she had been married to Michael Kurer from 1983 to 2000 – with whom she shares daughter Allegra, 37, and daughter Saskia, 34.
Yesterday, the broadcaster was supported by friends – including Carol Vorderman and Holly Willoughby – after announcing the break-up on Instagram.
Later, on her TalkTV show, she said: "I can’t be the only person in the country nursing a broken heart, can I? I am absolutely determined to put my best foot forward, to keep on trucking, all that sort of stuff. Keep calm and carry on.
"Having said all of this, obviously inside I’m feeling all sorts of things, no questions about it. Very hurt, very sad, terribly disappointed, worried about the future, all the normal stuff – of course I am."
Watch: Vanessa Feltz's felt her heart 'snapped into a million pieces' following split with Ben Ofoedu