My teenager finally can get a driver's license. He's not remotely interested.
My state requires people under 18 to take costly driver's education classes.
My almost 16-year-old is waiting to get his license until he's older.
He's fine with me driving him around and doesn't want to learn.
My son recently became old enough to get his learner's permit. In the state of Ohio, that's 15 years and six months of age. But he's not remotely interested in pursuing getting his driver's license.
After considerable research and thought, I support his decision.
I couldn't wait to get my license
I'm Gen X, and when I was in high school, most teenagers couldn't wait to get their driver's licenses and the potential for independence that came with them.
While my family couldn't afford to get me a car, the potential to visit friends' houses or just drive around by myself using my mom's car was a huge motivator. I craved independence as a teenager, and wanted to get away from my mom and the house whenever I could. I got my permit as soon as I could and learned how to drive through inexpensive classes (about $50) through a local driving school. I passed my test on the first try.
I knew my son wasn't super hot to learn to drive. Like many of his Gen Z peers, he doesn't have much of an external social life outside school and participation in marching band, which occupies the latter half of each year. Outside school, he connects with friends through online games or video calls.
I thought he'd be driving by now
I thought he might be driving to work by this age, at least to a summer job. I had to get a job to contribute to household expenses as soon as I was old enough to work, and worked after school and on weekends the last two years of high school.
But between marching band, which starts in early August, and my shared custody schedule with his dad, who lives in another city, my son being consistently available for any kind of summer job has been impossible as he only has a few weeks free each summer.
After considerable research, I support his decision not to get a license. There are so many reasons we have both decided it's best for him to wait — one of those rare occasions where my teen and I are on the same page.
Classes can be expensive
First, Ohio law requires that anyone under 18 who wants a driver's license attend an accredited driving school for several weeks. Few of these schools exist, which allows them to monopolize the market and make the classes very expensive (around $700). Right now, that's a big financial reach for me. He must also have 50 hours of driving experience in addition to the classes, which would all be my responsibility.
He has said he prefers I teach him when he's ready to learn, but like most teenagers and parents, our communications can be fraught with disagreements and push-back. Getting him to listen to me during driving lessons at this age would be challenging.
Secondly, in Ohio, if you wait until you are 18 to get your license, you can skip the class and have a friend or parent teach you to drive. But if you fail the test the first time you take it, you must take the expensive classes anyway.
The third factor is safety. Some people might argue that it's safer for younger drivers to wait to get their licenses, and the statistics are hard to ignore. According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, though they drive fewer miles than older people, drivers ages 16 to 19 are four times more likely to crash than drivers over 20, and these crashes are the leading cause of death for people in this age bracket. Risk is highest at the age of 16, which is just about how old my son is now. To be completely honest, this scares me a lot. I could only have one child, and parenting him has been the best thing I've done. The thought of losing him in a crash is terrifying.
Finally, there's the insurance factor. Most people know generally that it's quite expensive to add a teenager to their auto insurance policy, but teen boys cost more to insure than teen girls. That's because statistically, boys are more likely to be involved in accidents. They're also more likely to engage in risky behavior behind the wheel, including driving after drinking alcohol. I called my insurance provider to inquire about a quote and was told that adding my kid to the policy as a driver would double my rates.
Maybe his generation is onto something
After researching all of this, I began to reconsider whether my kid being on the road is good for anyone — him, other drivers, or me, considering the worry and stress I would have every time he gets behind the wheel.
Maybe Gen Z is smarter than I was at their age. Not long after I got my license, I took Mom's car to a friend's house to make signs for a football game the next night. My family lived in poverty, and my mom's Honda Civic was not well-maintained, including bald tires and a propensity to stall if you didn't give it enough gas. The combination of a dangerous vehicle and dark, rainy road conditions resulted in me crashing into a telephone pole that night, which slammed down onto the car and could have killed me and my passenger. Fortunately, but for a few bruises and me with two black eyes, we walked away unscathed, though the car was totaled.
My son has also figured out that if he had access to a car, he would be required to chip in to help offset the costs, and he sees no upside to that. His grades are quite good, but his honors coursework is very challenging, and he has been frank about the fact that he thinks school is enough work. He doesn't want to spend his free time working every spare minute.
He has pointedly said my driving him everywhere is "great" for him and asked me why he would go through all the trouble (and my expense) of driving when what we've been doing works for him. With the cost and risk involved in making him a licensed and insured driver, I agree.
Yes, it's more of a pain in my ass to drive him everywhere, but it's saving me a lot of money and a lot of stress.
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