People Are Sharing The Everyday Things People Do That They Don't Realize Are Rude, And I Think Many People Could Use This As A Refresher On Etiquette
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share the common things people do that they don't realize are rude. Their responses were right on the money. Here's what they had to say:
Note: Some submissions come from this Reddit thread.
1."If you're offered a lift with someone, don't just start eating in their car. I personally don't eat in my car and certainly don't want your crumbs everywhere."
2."When someone asks why I don't want a sibling for my only child. I really hate it."
3."When I introduce myself by my full name and immediately get asked if I have a nickname. No, I introduced myself to you by my preferred name, you can’t call me something that’s easier for you just because my name is more than two syllables."
4."Yawning without covering your mouth."
5."'You'll understand when you are a real mom,' said to a stepmom."
6."If you're sitting at a table, please push your chair back in when you leave."
7."If you're at work or at a restaurant or something, and you go outside to smoke, please, for the love of Zeus, do not light up right outside the door. People entering and leaving have to walk through your smoke cloud, so you should take a few steps away from the entrance to smoke (if that's possible)."
8."Putting feet up on the furniture. Boomers were brought up learning it is one of the most disrespectful things you can do."
9."Talking on your phone and looking in a completely different direction while in a transaction with a cashier (or anyone who is trying to help you). This is something that you are doing, with an outcome that affects you. Try to actively participate. Unless, of course, you want the results of the process to be a surprise."
10."When my wife and I first started dating, we hung out with one of her friends. A bunch of us were drinking at her friend's house. I forget why, but my wife wasn't drinking too much that night. Her friend kept pressuring her to drink. I finally snapped and yelled at the friend to leave her alone, she doesn't want to drink."
11."Putting your dog poop in someone else’s trash can. Put it in your own trash can. It’s your dog!"
12.“Asking a newly married couple if they plan to have kids."
13."Looking at your phone while someone talks to you. Put your phone DOWN and live in the moment that is REAL."
14."If someone declines alcohol, do not insist, and do not ask them why."
15."Leaving your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle so others cannot pass. It’s inconsiderate and infuriating."
16."Stepping off a full escalator and then standing still while looking around. Bro, just take four to five steps forward to figure yourself out!"
17."LISTENING TO ANYTHING IN PUBLIC WITH YOUR VOLUME ON. This includes TikTok, YouTube, social media, FaceTiming, and anything with your phone on speaker. No one gives a crap what media you’re consuming. Airports especially seem to attract this in droves as if earbuds or headphones don’t exist. If I can hear your phone, you are getting The Glare. Learn to adjust to polite society."
18."People who let their dogs jump up on you. Hey, I love dogs, but I’m not in the mood of having dirty paws on my nice clean clothes."
19."Walking in a group and taking up the whole walkway. I can't pass you."
20."Getting in an elevator before allowing people to get out of the elevator."
21.“Saying 'You look good for your age.' There are so many ways to compliment someone on aging well, but that is not one of them."
22."Telling someone 'You look tired.'"
23."Telling a guy he's going bald or thinning out on top. He already knows and is probably gutted."
24."Giving comments to anything about food, bodies, or size of portions."
25."Asking someone 'Why are you so quiet?'"
26."Touching a pregnant woman's stomach without asking."
27."While it's rude to look at your phone while someone is talking to you, it’s equally rude to just start talking to someone who is looking at their phone. You don’t get to judge that what I’m doing must not be important. I could be reading emails from work. I could be reading the news. I could be texting with a friend or family member. If someone looks engaged with their phone, ask if it’s okay to interrupt first."
28."Commenting on weight in any way. Even if you mean it as a compliment. 'You’re so skinny' isn’t always a compliment."
29."Saying 'It was God's will' when someone you care about dies. So inappropriate, yet so many people do it anyway."
30."Touching someone's tattoos without permission. I get asked about them a lot, which is fine but a little annoying, but I really can't stand it when people start stroking me? Like, screw off."
31."I’m a veteran, and my wife is originally from Southeast Asia. A fairly common question I get is whether we met overseas. We didn’t, we met in the US while she was studying for her Masters in Business Admin. I have absolutely no judgment toward people who meet that way, but the question about whether we met overseas reveals an assumed stereotype."
32."Don’t say, 'You don’t look autistic' when someone tells you that they’re on the autism spectrum. It’s offensive to us individually because you’re invalidating our identity or implying that we’re making it up, and it’s offensive to our community as a whole because you’re claiming that there’s a stereotypical 'look' that we should be adhering to. It is in no way a compliment."
33."People touching my hair. It’s really weird and inappropriate. Yes, it is curly, and yes, it is naturally this curly.'
34."When people say to me, 'I wish I could take time off work every time I was sad!' My dude, it's not sadness. It's the kind of mental illness that can kill you. I'm not taking time off. I'm fighting for my life."
35."It annoys me when you are driving in a parking lot, and someone or a family comes walking out of the store or just crossing the driveway into a parking lane, and they take an extreme diagonal path! Just walk straight across and get out of the way!!!"
36."If you find out someone’s an adoptee, don’t start asking them a million questions and forcing them to share their personal lives and narratives with you. For example, don't ask questions like: 'Where are your parents?' 'Why did they give you up?' 'Do you see your adoptive parents as your 'real parents?' 'Do you want to find your 'real parents?' 'Are you happy or grateful you were adopted?'"
—kkad
37."Talking with food in your mouth. I love having meals with family and friends and catching up with their lives. We all place our hands in front of our mouths if we speak with food in it, except my mom. She'll talk with a huge mouthful of food, showing everyone her rank teeth as well as all the food that's mangled around them. It's disgusting and embarrassing!"
38."Please don’t ask people why they aren’t parents. It’s none of your business and might be for traumatic reasons! Not everyone has children, even people over a certain age."
39."Leaving a shopping cart near the cars and not returning to the proper spot in the parking lot is so rude."
40."Insulting something about yourself in front of someone who has that same trait. Specifically, saying something like 'OMG, I look so fat!' around someone who is actually fat. Whatever you say about yourself, other people will hear and know you feel that way about them too."
41."It's so rude when people tell me 'You speak English very well.' They tend to be surprised or defensive when I say, 'You as well.' I wonder why. Also, any compliment that includes the word 'exotic' is rude. I hear it so often (since I was a kid) that I loathe that sort of compliment with the intensity of a thousand suns."
42."Wait for people to disembark from the subway or rapid transit trains before squeezing your way on."
43."Approaching someone's dog without asking first. I have a super shy dog, who is wary of strangers. I have a sign on the leash saying, 'Do not touch' yet people try to pet him weekly."
44.And finally, "Telling people to 'Smile!' I had a coworker that kept telling me to smile, and I had to talk to a manager about it. I’m a large, rough-looking man, and apparently, my resting staring off into space face offended her. I live with chronic pain, so no, I don’t feel like smiling when I’m not interacting with anyone. I’m not scowling, I’m not mad, I’m just not happy."
“Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.”
