What the Sydney Sweeney photos really prove about women

When Sydney Sweeney – a celebrity so famous for being objectively gorgeous that she’s had entire SNL skits dedicated to her hourglass figure – isn’t deemed physically attractive enough to pass muster, it really makes you wonder what chance there is for the rest of womankind. This is a person so hot that right-wing pundits memorably, if inexplicably, argued that her breasts spelt the “death of woke”. And even she’s not good enough? Clearly, we’re all playing a losing game here.

The White Lotus actor unwittingly sparked some internet “discourse” this week by having the gall to walk around in a bikini with no makeup on, her hair pulled back in a casual ponytail. They weren’t the most flattering photos ever taken of Sweeney: she wasn’t posing for a start, her lilac two-piece was more functional than showstopper, and her hair and face weren’t coiffed and glammed to the nines respectively. It’s unclear why they would be though, given that Sweeney was simply chilling out and sunbathing at her own home in the Florida Keys, rather than attending a red carpet event. The candid snaps appear to have been taken by a paparazzo without Sweeney’s consent when she was on her property – she’d probably made the reasonable yet mistaken assumption that she could relax and just be for a change, instead of having to “perform” for the male gaze.

Regardless, for a certain toxic element of the manosphere, her laidback appearance was tantamount to committing a capital offence.

Men were so quick to crow over her so-called fall from grace, in fact, that it was as if they’d been just waiting for the opportunity – vultures circling overhead, primed to pounce the second they scented weakness on the air. Sweeney was “mid” they claimed; she was “fat”; most heinously of all, she had been “catfishing” unsuspecting members of the opposite sex for years, tricking them into lusting after her by putting on lipstick and low-cut dresses and getting her hair professionally done for movie premieres. But now, they could all see the truth – she was just like every other sickening human woman out there. Imperfect. Flawed. “Normal”, whatever that means.

“All women are catfishes. The question is, to what degree,” tweeted one social media user alongside the photos. Another self-proclaimed incel posted a bikini pic next to a photo of Sweeney in full makeup and a red, off-the-shoulder dress as if presenting some kind of “gotcha” moment, with the caption: “This should be illegal. This is what causes misogyny.” Here’s me thinking that misogyny was rooted in a deeply unequal patriarchal hierarchy in which women have been subjugated and thought of as “less than” for millennia – turns out it was Sydney Sweeney’s fault all along for wearing eyeliner on occasion. Who knew?

Honestly, my immediate thought upon seeing the dressed-down version of Sweeney was: “Ah man, even when she’s not making an effort, she looks good!” Many other women shared similar sentiments, revealing that they hadn’t even been able to work out what was “wrong” with the latest images. “What part of these photos of Sydney Sweeney in a swimsuit is catfish to you. Like are you saying this is not a beautiful woman???” asked one person incredulously. It’s hard to fathom how someone could make the leap from a woman appearing slightly more “done” when they’ve spent an hour getting ready to a 52-year-old man living in his parents’ basement pretending to be a teenage beach volleyball player online, but here we are. As one woman put it, “Men complaining that Sidney [sic] Sweeney is a catfish seeing her out of makeup and dressed down are literally just telling on themselves, admitting they have never touched a woman in their lives.”

Sweeney herself even got involved, responding to trolls by showing a selection of comments calling her “frumpy”, “ugly” and “tubby” on Instagram, before cutting to a video of her working out hard at the gym in preparation for her next big role – starring as famed female boxer Christy Martin in a forthcoming biopic. It was perhaps the perfect response, showing a dark and nasty corner of the internet that, try as they might, they couldn’t tear her down (and that she could probably beat them to a pulp if need be).

Clearly, the “discourse” is ridiculous. Clearly, none of the insults levelled at Sweeney are even vaguely true. And yet, all this latest nonsense proves is that it really doesn’t matter what you look like. None of us will ever be good enough to appease men who hate women – because they want us to fail. And when we commit the cardinal sin of being real and human, rather than simply an object to be admired… well, that’s the biggest failure of all.